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Men Who are Too Tan
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We all like a healthy glow. But when that glow comes at the expense of your skin cells and/or ingesting harsh chemicals into your body, it may be time to rethink that "fresh from the beach" look. Men especially need to figure out the thin line between "surfed all day" and "sat in a vat of carrot juice for three hours". There is such a thing as going too far with the tanning. Here are some examples.

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All kidding aside, this photo FREAKED. ME. OUT. How is it possible for anyone that hasn't huffed glue all day to look in the mirror and decide it's still a good idea to go out like this?

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Yes Mr. Valentino, orange IS the new black.

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She may be rocking the "Burnt Sienna" while he's rocking the "Flamin' Hot Cheetos" color.

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Remember in the old Looney Tunes when a character would eat a spicy food and we'd watch their faces fill up with a red tinge? This is what I imagine happening were that to transfer to real life.

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Incidentally, I brought this picture to the car dealer when he asked me to pick out the color of leather I wanted for my seats.

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Up until two minutes ago, I thought James Van Praagh was the biggest douche in America. I was wrong.

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Nothing says "gangsta" like puckering in a photo. Also, is it just me or do these guys look like they're wearing lip gloss? Looks like someone has been shopping at Sephora.

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Here's how a conversation with my daughter would go were she to bring this guy home.
"Have you ever HEARD the Indigo Girls? They're amazing. And just so you know, I'm headed to the Golf Course tomorrow, you should come out and take a few swings with me."

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OK, this puckering bullshit really needs to go.

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Trivia time! One of these guys is not like the other. Can you guess? The guy on the right doesn't like Bon Jovi.

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Jessica and Ron were never the same once he used up all her lip gloss.

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You think this is bad? Imagine what he looked like when he found out there'd be a written test to get his motorcycle license.

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You can't tell from this photo, but this was a candid photo from the Happy Knitters Club monthly newsletter.

(Thanks to TarrMachine for a bunch of the photos)
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12 Comments

Oh dear god, what is up with these people? Do they not *own* a mirror to see how ridiculous they look??

I'm pretty sure at least one of those pictures is of Victoria Gotti's sons..

I don't get the puckering thing, either, Echo. It seems to be popular among the teens/early 20's set. That, and posting 500 pictures of yourself on facebook either puckering or making the peace sign or both.

said CindylovesScara on April 24, 2009 5:33 PM.

I have been wondering on what is that puckering thing too... I guess it's the way they have to show they are assholes: wearing their anus (anii? anuses?) where the mouth should be.

Seriously, have you guys watched Slumdog Millionaire? > Their tan colour is just like the colour the little kid Jamal was when he had to dive in the shit.

Just adding to your comment, Cindy, they're either puckering, making peace sign, sporting a bad boy face, two of the previous or them three combined.

And yes, they have a mirror. Yes they have friends who should/could tell them how ugly/stupid they look. But they just love it. They think it's beautiful.

What about that spiky hair-do. Oh Jeebus doing a cartwheel single handed! It looks like they had put their head in a vacuum cleaner. Awful.

You know when just by looking at a person's face you wish you had Hellboy's right hand, just to punch the sucker at once? That's what I feel looking at these guys.

"Remember in the old Looney Tunes when a character would eat a spicy food and we'd watch their faces fill up with a red tinge"--All the captions fitted perfectly the pics, but this one is gold... hahahah

said Leonardo Carvalho on April 24, 2009 6:16 PM.

I love the guy coming out of Nieman Marcus or whatever showing off his manly chest, got his pucker going on. Nothing says Bad Ass like a day at the mall.

said E on April 24, 2009 6:49 PM.

Most of the dudes in this post do look like they had a bad experience with a Flo-bee.

said CindylovesScara on April 24, 2009 7:10 PM.

'Here's how a conversation with my daughter would go were she to bring this guy home. "Have you ever HEARD the Indigo Girls? They're amazing. And just so you know, I'm headed to the Golf Course tomorrow, you should come out and take a few swings with me."'

No doubt. This is why people shell out big bucks to send their daughters to all girls skoolz.

said E on April 24, 2009 7:14 PM.

The saddest thing of all is that in the entire world there is no one who loves them enough to tell them Nooooooo!

said Linda on April 24, 2009 8:25 PM.

This is really funny on many levels...but it really made me laugh because I was observing how many guys make the pucker face in Hoboken...what's with that??

said Evan on April 24, 2009 10:01 PM.

Ask me if I care if someone loves them. I.DO.NOT.CARE.

They look for it. They just know how to make "friends" based on the money or status. You catch what you seed.

If they had parents... not just a couple that made them, but real parents, they wouldn't reach this low in the evolutionary chain.

said Leonardo Carvalho on April 24, 2009 10:02 PM.

this post receives the "New Jersey Guido Association" seal of approval!

said Sheriff Pablo on April 25, 2009 10:46 AM.

I have a question - who are these guys imitating? What the fuck is this style - Boy George meets Mike Tyson. WTF.

Funny post Echo. Where you get this stuff, I don't want to know.

said E on April 28, 2009 12:55 AM.

Oompa meets Loompa, I'm guessing.

said Don't Swayze Bro on April 28, 2009 10:14 AM.

Just adding a Redneckish Tan...

http://www.masalatime.com/world/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/29-1741441262.jpg

said Leonardo Carvalho on April 29, 2009 8:39 AM.
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