Editor's Note - Homeless Frank lives in front of the building where I work. I pay him food in return for blog entries. For this one he got a bottle of Boone's Farm and a tin of Chef Boy-R-Dee. I've corrected spelling and grammar; all thoughts belong to Frank.
Today Homeless Frank shares his thoughts about the economy.
I got to get a plan together. I gots to figure out an angle. Back in '71 I had angles coming out my ass. I was the King of Angles.
Back then I had it all figured out. I spent nights being a bouncer at this titty bar in South Philly and my days bouncing on the tittys I had protected the night before. More nipples than a man knew what to do with. Had all my teeth back then.
In May of 1975 I worked my ass off loading watermelons down in north Florida. Shittiest job I ever had. You ever lug a melon? Not something I recommend.
Best job I ever had was tending bar. I got paid to be around booze. Fucking dream. That lasted all of 3 months. Sometimes dreams got to end when you get your ass thrown out on the street.
You all lazy assholes. YOU CAN'T ALL BE A LIKE ME. Somebody gots to tote the melons so the rest can eat the sweet meat.
And stop bitching bout losing your house. I ain't got no house. Don't see me all up gnashing my teeth and wailing my arms.
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Huh? Is it April Fools Day?
I didn't think anyone could rise from the dead for another 6 days or so ...
I asked him about his supposed death. He told me 'i got better'
Then he demanded I buy him cigarettes.
That seems like his M.O.
I should have known better than to believe The New York Times ... Pinko Commie Rag.
Dead or not Frank's better qualified to run an investment bank than the dipshits who have been doing it.
So you say he's dead and then he's...not? THat's a bit fucked.
E, what you mean is:
Dead, Alive, or just plain imaginary, he's better qualified to run investment banks than investment bankers.
I can see Frank - 'Whoa, you can call this CDO triple A if you want but any fool can see the looming increase in the default rate? I may be dead and mentally unstable, but even I can see this. Stick your Wharton MBA up your culo.'
First Jellio, now Frank. All we need is Johnny Chicago to come back and we'll be the greatest pop culture blog on the planet.
Or maybe not.