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Help Wanted Ad

Vancouver_Island_map.jpgYoung men who are hung and looking for a job may want to look into moving to Vancouver Island:

CONSTRUCTION OR LABOUR EXPERIENCE? LOOKING FOR WORK? Ad ID: 122247042 Visits: 160 Location: Victoria Date Listed: 20-Apr-09

I am looking for a strong individual is experienced in construction and muscular to fix my cabin.
I live in a somewhat remote area for this I am offering free accommodations.

This position would be idea for a SINGLE male who is between the ages of 22-40, and doesn't mind working on private property. You have experience in construction / handyman skills/ carpentry.

Keep reading, it gets better.

You will have access to all facilities on the property, and vehicle for building supplies. This is a 2 bedroom cabin, 1 bathroom. 700sqft finished space. Large screen tv with satellite 250 channels, 5 movie channels, 8 adult movie channels.

My property is equipped for boating via the dock.

My cabin needs the following repairs. Dock and deck repaired, painted inside and out, new windows, floors, remodel kitchen and bathroom, finish the basement, landscaping, and other odd jobs that would come along with a remodel such as this. I would estimate it would take 1 person aprox 6 - 8 months to complete if not not longer.

If you are interested in this great opportunity please get back to me via email and we can discuss wages, living arrangements, ect.

This is for 1 person only. Sorry no couples. Serious inquires only please.
You must be 420 friendly, I'm a very free spirited person and I love nature and peace. When it gets hot in the summertime I tend to spend a lot of time outside tanning naked on my dock. So you must respect my lifestyle as much as I would respect yours. It could lead to longer stay after the work is completed if we get along and you are muscular and very well endowed!

WAGE: 17.50

LOCATION: horne lake vancouver island

YOU: MUST BE UNDER 40, MALE, MUSCULAR, AND VERY WELL ENDOWED. PLEASE HAVE A RECENT PHOTO OF YOURSELF AS WELL.

Why did I never think about placing an ad like this? Oh, because I don't have a two bedroom cabin on the lake. But darn, when I went back to snag a picture of the cabin, the ad had been yanked. If i had checked my email five minutes later, I'd have never seen it. Oh well, she's out of luck. No, I don't have the contact information.

(Thanks, Andi!)

Update: The ad is back, although very slightly edited. Thanks, Mr. Bone!

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20 Comments

That's ageism, damnit!

said Jellio on April 28, 2009 12:51 PM.

"Must look like construction dude in Village People."

said E on April 28, 2009 12:54 PM.

hornE lake...really?

and do we *know* that a woman placed the ad?

said sarcastic one on April 28, 2009 12:57 PM.

I don't know why you assumed that it was a lady that placed the add. It's in Canada. There is a 93.4% chance that it was a dude that is looking for another dude.

said Dave on April 28, 2009 1:01 PM.

"hornE" <- I see what you did there. Shame on you.

said E on April 28, 2009 1:09 PM.

Yeah, there is no way a woman placed this ad. This is a dude looking for a dude.

Just for the simple fact that even if a woman had placed this ad, she wouldn't even think to mention, "Oh, yeah, I like to go around the house naked". They would just assume that their new "hand"yman would have no problem with that. It's a good assumption.

Now, get to the "muscular, well-endowed" bit and that's a dude. Again, the woman's version would say "must be intelligent and funny".

8 adult movie channels? IT'S A DUDE!

said LostInDaJungle on April 28, 2009 1:40 PM.

"Must look like construction dude in Village People." [2]

Definitely a dude.

said Leonardo Carvalho on April 28, 2009 2:05 PM.

Sorry about that. From my perspective it seemed like a woman. A woman like me. Not that I go around nude or anything...

said Miss Cellania on April 28, 2009 2:28 PM.

I think we should send Johnny Wright off to take this on as a 6 month writing assignment. We could serialize the story, and then publish in book form.

Johnny are you VERY WELL ENDOWED?

said Scaramouch on April 28, 2009 2:46 PM.

'Jerry, babe. Ok, here's the concept - think BrokeBack Mountain ... meets Sleepless in Seattle .. with a dash of Can't Stop the Music. You feelin it? I'm thinking we get Johnny Wright and Zac Efron. Can you say money?'

said E on April 28, 2009 2:49 PM.

Right on the money, E.

Get any emocore band + some RnB girl for the sound track.

said Leonardo Carvalho on April 28, 2009 2:56 PM.

My suitcase, guitar and laptop are packed and ready to go, Boss. Just say the word, cover expenses and I'm off to Vancouver Island.

said Johnny Wright on April 28, 2009 2:57 PM.

"Expenses", is that what you kids are calling condoms nowadays?

said LostInDaJungle on April 28, 2009 3:02 PM.

Even after the revelation of the ad's dudeness, Johnny jumps on the case.

That's dedication.

said Dave on April 28, 2009 3:06 PM.

'Jumping on the case' is that what they're calling it these days?

said E on April 28, 2009 3:18 PM.

Down here, dedication has other meanings. This is a blatant case of jump-outta-closet.

said Leonardo Carvalho on April 28, 2009 3:21 PM.

When you go undercover for a story, sacrifices are necessary.

said Johnny Wright on April 28, 2009 3:21 PM.

Shit, I was going to ask why Miss C was placing an ad... She beat me to it.

said Jimbo on April 28, 2009 3:22 PM.

its missing the beginning (http), but the ad seems to be back
victoria.kijiji.ca/c-jobs-construction-trades-LOOKING-FOR-WORK-ROOM-AND-BOARD-PROVIDED-W0QQAdIdZ124102637

only this time requirement is for VERY WELL HUNG!

rofl

said Mrbone on April 28, 2009 10:18 PM.

I wonder if that $17.50 wage is paid for all "services". And seeing as the "employee" will be there 24 hours a day, does the position *wink wink* pay 24 hours a day?

In a stark coincidence, $17.50/hr x 24 hrs/day = $420

I digress. If it took 6 months to "fill the crack" (in the foundation), "lay the wood" (on the deck), and "bury the root" (in the garden) that would come out to $75,600.

I guess for that much cash my standards would be rock bottom.

Now if only I were single, muscular, and very well endowed..

said Jimbo on April 28, 2009 10:49 PM.
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