It's been one week since I joined Twitter. (Scary, that works really well as the opening line to a Barenaked Ladies' song) This week-long sociological experiment has lead to some interesting findings.

• I find myself reading the YesButNoButYes Twitter feed even though I'm on the site constantly. Similarly, I'm an incredible narcissist.
• No matter how much you beg, people won't fall over themselves to follow you.
• I've almost completely forgotten about Facebook.
• Celebrities and musicians have worse grammar and spelling than Rosemary Kennedy.
• My most interesting "tweet" to date was calling James Van Praagh a douche... because he is.
• I was almost hit by a car "tweeting" on my iPhone while crossing the street. Who said social networking never killed anyone? (That's right... this guy did.)
• Trust me, no one gives four shits about the pajamas you stayed up all night sewing for your cat.
• I considered starting a band called "The Tweatles" and all of our song lyrics would be 140 characters or less.
• Swine Flu was created by the United States government to drive down the price of tacos. (Non pork-based tacos)
• "Tweeting" "twittering" "tweets" and "twits" are all incredibly stupid words.

Despite all this, I shall continue with the endeavor if for no other reason than I can finally know what Demi Moore is eating for dinner tonight. And in case you weren't already skeptical, it turns out Twitter is one giant Ponzi scheme.

As if they are teenage girls when the Beatles played Shea Stadium, people continue to pass out when President Barry Obama performs. He's just knockin' 'em dead.

This was earlier today:



Obama quips that this happened all the time in his campaign. He's not kidding:



I'm waiting for the Presidential band to strike up a rousing version of "Can't Buy Me Love." The kids will hitting the deck like it's a Benny Hinn show.

Senator Arlen Specter of Pennsylvania has announced he is switching to the Democratic Party.

This makes 59 democrats in the Senate. Add Al Franken and you have a 60 seat filibuster-proof majority.

Who doesn't love the Muppets? Who doesn't love crime capers? Exactly. That's everyone. The one guy not raising his hand, Kyle in Des Moines, he's a dick anyway.

Here's a "mashup" for the ages. Kermit and the gang meets Danny Ocean and, uh ... the gang.



Freaking love the Muppets...

(Click here for From the Air I,II,III,IV,V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, Appendix, or Bonus)

Think you know your sports teams inside and out? How about from miles above the Earth? We've spanned (and scanned) the globe using Google Maps and found stadiums, arenas, fields, and a number of other sporting venues; now it's up to you to tell us what and where they are. Bonus points if you can name the team(s) that play there.

Young men who are hung and looking for a job may want to look into moving to Vancouver Island:

CONSTRUCTION OR LABOUR EXPERIENCE? LOOKING FOR WORK? Ad ID: 122247042 Visits: 160 Location: Victoria Date Listed: 20-Apr-09

I am looking for a strong individual is experienced in construction and muscular to fix my cabin.
I live in a somewhat remote area for this I am offering free accommodations.

This position would be idea for a SINGLE male who is between the ages of 22-40, and doesn't mind working on private property. You have experience in construction / handyman skills/ carpentry.

Keep reading, it gets better.

Iceland is deep in debt. A country close to bankruptcy. A country in such financial distress someone actually put it up for auction on Ebay.

Perhaps now, we know a small reason for these troubles.

Elves.

Recent polls show that the majority of the population either believe in elves or won't entirely rule out their existence.

That's no big deal. Lots of people believe strange things exist - ghosts, aliens, fairies, Jesus. But Iceland's belief in elves goes beyond cultural heritage, folklore, a lucrative tourist attraction or fascination with Lord of the Rings. It actually effects the economy and how companies do business.

While in America you may need EPA approval or an economic impact statement to get the okay to build a new factory or strip mall, when you're building in Iceland the government might force you to hire an expert to assure that none of the country's legendary hidden people" lived underneath the property. (via York Daily)

In 2004, ALCOA was forced to hire an elf expert (who was human) to make sure none of the countries reportedly 300,000 native "elf-like goblins" weren't living beneath the rocks. The site was clear, praise Legolas.

No lets hope the elves come to Iceland's rescue. Share some of their centuries of wealth or magic to bailout the citizens above that love and protect them so.

We shall see....

Just when you can believe we're all making great strides in fighting ignorant racist propaganda, along comes this "fun piece" that aired on a Rochester news station that just makes me hang your head and wonder what the hell these "journalists" were thinking when they edited this piece together.

A Fascinating Flickr slideshow of items up for auction from the Neverland Ranch. Creepiest to me are the paintings of Michael Jackson in heroic form, with echoes of Templar Knights, religious icons, even as Messiah. Oh, and - naturally - Peter Pan.

The Hollywood Wax Museum is auctioning off 200 wax figures, props and costumes. Everyone from Hoss Cartwright to Edith Bunker to Dr Zauis will go to the highest bidder on May 1.

Personally, I just found a way to get all my Christmas shopping done before Memorial Day. I'll get Marilyn from the Seven-Year Itch for Scara, Sarcastic one gets James Dean. And Dave gets a very lifelike Richard Nixon...perfect.

Both sides of the political spectrum claim Stephen Colbert as their own. A study from Ohio State University finds that liberals think Stephen Colbert is funny, his performance as a conservative is satire, and that he is a liberal at heart. Conservatives also think he is funny, and believe he is a conservative at heart.

Using data from an experiment (N = 332), we found that individual-level political ideology significantly predicted perceptions of Colbert's political ideology. Additionally, there was no significant difference between the groups in thinking Colbert was funny, but conservatives were more likely to report that Colbert only pretends to be joking and genuinely meant what he said while liberals were more likely to report that Colbert used satire and was not serious when offering political statements. Conservatism also significantly predicted perceptions that Colbert disliked liberalism.

The Huffington Post puts it more bluntly: Conservatives Don't Know He's Joking. They give the example of Florida Representative Bill Posey, who wondered why Colbert would call him the illegitimate grandson of an alligator. The results of this study would explain why even Colbert's targets appreciate him. What's not to like? He thinks the way I do!