"Hannah Montana: The Movie" *1/2 (out of four): The actors are likable, the songs are catchy, and the story is decent enough to make it a shame that Disney didn't try a bit harder.

As countless writers, directors, producers, and actors have discovered over the years, taking a beloved television series out of the living room and into the local cineplex is no easy task. In addition to the difficulties of adapting to the longer and more ambitious format of a feature film, there are the inevitable pitfalls of trying to appeal to a broader audience while still remaining faithful to the rabid fan base. In many cases (see "X-Files: I Want to Believe") this results in a watered-down brand that both bores neophytes and disappoints acolytes. Planted firmly on the other end of the spectrum, "Hannah Montana: The Movie", makes no effort at all to stretch beyond its existing boundaries and suffers for it.

Read more on BigPictureBigSound...

Just in case you missed it, you might recognize the man on the left.  If not, that's the mighty Vince Shlomi of ShamWow! fame.  Apparently his hobbies include infomercials and beating up hookers.  As the sordid tale unfolded, he meet a woman at a nightclub, took her back to his hotel ($750/night....not too shabby!) and gave her $1000 after SHE propositioned him for "straight sex" (why can't people find hookers with a heart of gold).  Well so far so good.... of course that's when things go wrong.  Apparently during the initial kiss, she bit his tounge and wouldn't let go.  Sooooooo....he did the most rational thing anyone else would do in that situation, he just beat the shit out of her (I guess that also works for biting dogs, small children, rabbits, etc.).  You can read the full article (and mug shots) from The Smoking Gun here but...if you act now, you can see the hospital pictures here.  I personally figured he could have cleaned up the room, his face and the hooker with those oh so amazingly absorbent ShamWows.....

I imagined the children I wouldn't get to see grow up. No longer feeling the love of a woman. Peeing out of a plastic tube attached via a series of implants to my bladder. This is what you think about when 42 razor-sharp teeth are millimeters from your genitals, and the owner of those teeth, with a jaw strong enough to crush lead, wants nothing more than to nail.your.ass.

That, and you may or may not have been smuggling drugs back from Amsterdam.

Channel Ten tries to get a statement from Ann Bruno, a costume shop owner who is accused of cyberstalking. It's not so easy doing a Mike Wallace when your target refuses to take you seriously. All in all, it's not so easy pulling a Mike Wallace when you're not Mike Wallace.

(via Buzzfeed)

I'll be the first to admit I'm in desperate need of good karma. You try spending your days making fun of those less fortunate and, soon enough, you'll wander the streets constantly looking up, wondering when a piano will fall on you. Kayak for a Cause is that saving grace. No matter how brutal I get, I can always fall back on being a co-founder of the event, and it helps me sleep well at night. Well, that and a nice mixture of Xanax and Tylenol PM.

Much as I asked last year, we're still looking for participants and volunteers. So if you feel like having a fun day out on the waters of Long Island Sound while simultaneously doing something good for someone else, we'd love to have you. And if you're lazy and want to throw money at the situation, we'll gladly take that too. And if that weren't enough, there's an after party on the beach featuring the incredibly talented Donavon Frankenreiter.

Spike Jones is in final production of Where the Wild Things Are.
Now another beloved and cherished kids classic is being made into a movie.

Certainly we all can relate....

"Anvil! The Story of Anvil" **1/2 (out of four): This mildly moving documentary - about the best Canadian metal band you've never heard of - is nearly undermined by its own similarity to countless music mockumentaries past.

Watching "Anvil! The Story of Anvil" is something of a post-modern nightmare. Director Sacha Gervasi's modest tribute to the best Canadian metal band you've never heard of is so similar to 1984's "This is Spinal Tap" that it's hard to believe it's true. Comparisons to Rob Reiner's quintessential mockumentary aside, I choose to accept the film as reality. But in a world where any kid with a Macbook and an internet connection can Forrest Gump himself into stock footage shaking hands with Kennedy, it's hard to know when the wool isn't being pulled over your eyes.

Read more on BigPictureBigSound...

The San Fransisco Giants have an interesting new slogan this year. It could be interpreted a few ways:

1. They've got a lot of pitchers who throw heat. Including fastballer Matt Cain who is pictured in the ad.

2. Matt Cain and/or the GM is a masochist and wants everyone to know it.

3. They're trying to attract the bay area's homosexual population to the ballpark.

4. Instead of spending money on fielding a quality team, they've hired some circus freaks to entertain fans.

BTW, good catch LuckyKatt

Leftover matzah that is.. Happy Pesach folks.

Chain smoking Britney Spears gave a dance recital, er ... "concert" in Vancouver last night. A few lip synced tunes in, the show was halted because it was too smokey around the stage. This made it "unsafe."

Brit came back after the smoke had cleared and soldiered on. Bless her heart. What a trooper! Then she gave a farewell message to the duped crowd who paid $65 bucks for a Britney tank top.



Didn't catch it? She says "Drive safe, don't smoke weed, and rock out with your c%cks out. Peace motherf%uckers!"

Stay classy Vancouver!

Methinks that Billy Bob saw how much pub Joaquin Phoenix received for his outer-spaced interview with Letterman a while back. Some poor Canadian disc jockey tried to interview Billy Bob and dared mention his previous day job.

The interview ran off the rails pretty quick after that. The highlight is Billy Bob comparing himself to Tom Petty. More than once.



I suspect this was orchestrated. It worked. His crappy band got the kind of publicity you can't buy...

The story about this Durex ad is a kerfluffle in Britain about whether it is too offensive to be shown at 10:05PM. People wonder how they are going to explain this one to the kids. Here's how I would explain it: They're faking. The faces are too calm, too self-conscious, and too attractive for honest orgasms. Must be porn.

That's easy for me to say, since my kids' bedtime is 10PM.

(via Arbroath)

For those of you who haven't been paying attention to the upcoming movies (i.e. non-nerds), 5/8/09 is the day that the collective Sci-Fi community will get to see if one of the Holy Trinity can get a good swift kick in the ass by being reborn. Yes...Star Trek folks. In honor of this upcoming event, I give to you......

The Associated Press is seriously trying to corner the market in news, and making sure that no one sees it. AP is using the flamethrower approach to go after anyone and everyone that uses content they've sucked up from their affiliates -and that includes their affiliates! WTNQ-FM received a cease-and-desist notice from AP for embedding a video from the AP's YouTube channel.

You cannot make this stuff up. Forget for a moment that WTNQ is itself an A.P. affiliate and that the A.P. shouldn't be harassing its own members. Apparently, nobody told the A.P. executive that the august news organization even has a YouTube channel which the A.P. itself controls, and that someone at the A.P. decided that it is probably a good idea to turn on the video embedding function on so that its videos can spread virally across the Web, along with the ads in the videos.

Frank Strovel of WTNQ explained the situation to the vice president of affiliate relations at AP, but still had to take the videos down. Do you think the radio station will renew its contract with AP? Why pay for a service you can't use? If this sort of thing continues, we'll never find out what's going on in the world. But then again, no news is good news.