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When fungus attacks

Ants die in bunches.

Here we see a video of why mother nature kicks ass and human pesticides just can't compare. The Cordyceps Fungus infects ants and other insects, makes them climb up high before dying and then......
yeah, this fungus is a kick ass bio weapon.

Now if we Insert humans instead of insects we've got a cool horror made for TV movie on our hands.
courtesy of freesciencelectures.com

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6 Comments

Humans have a much more robust immune system compared to the insects.

Despite no proof, it is my hypothesis that the substantially shorter life of an ant compared to humans is largely due to the inability of an ant to stave off infectious disease with innate immunity. Even before the advent of advance, long-term health care, humans were living to be at least one year per one day of an ants life.

And who's to say similar things don't happen to humans anyway? Syphilis, for example, can progress to stages of modified host behavior. This possibly includes climbing trees and dying. It definitely includes posing serious risk of infection for other members of the colony.

Much like the fungus depicted in this video, one could reasonably accept the role of spirochetes, fungi, bacteria, etc. as having similar roles in population balance. The major difference is humans hold "life" as sanctified. Thus our attempts to disrupt the natural cycles of birth, death, and rebirth. Fortunately thus far only humans have evolved with complex communication skills, and ever-burning desire to use our evolutionary gifts to overpopulate, rape, and destroy the earth. Go us!

My point is, it wouldn't make a very good movie. It would only be an over-sensationalized documentary.

said Jimbo on March 25, 2009 12:50 PM.

Holy crap! I should have known better than to watch this while eating lunch..

said CindylovesScara on March 25, 2009 1:41 PM.

It' all in the execution Jimbo.
You get some A list actors like Ice Cube, Josh Hartnett and Rutger Hauer (speaking of Dutch dream boats)
Throw in some great one liners like,

"I think I wasted at least 30 of those fungi freaks, but who's keeping SPORE!"

or...

"Carter aint coming back. He got one mushroom brain burger with a side of flies"

Make the antagonist shrooms distinctly Chinese for that dash of propaganda and cultural relevance...

You got yourself a Hollywood blockbuster my friend.

said Chad on March 26, 2009 3:28 AM.

I hope the fungi win this battle!

Chad, let's get Michael Bay to direct this flick... we'll have gigantic fungi exploding humans as they grow inside the host. Maybe the mutant fungi came to earth traveling in a meteor that fell in some uninhabited area around New Mexico or some other US desert area...
They came from Chlamydia-5 planetary system as an investigative/research team, to find out planets with ideal climate and living hosts, to be taken over in their expansion plans.

At first they use the wind to travel around the country, and then they start controlling the host's minds to lead them to places where they can infect lots of people.

The perfect hero for this action movie might be the toilet-faced Ben Affleck. He's the "brilliant" scientist who develops a new anti-biotic formula (in 3 days) called penis-celine (secret ingredient is Celine Dion--KILLER!!!).

He leaves his beautiful girlfriend in the vacuum sealed Lab, thinking she's safe--play Chantal Kreviazuk's version for Leaving on a Jetplane in the background--and goes out to fight as human race only hero and saviour.
When he finds out there's no way he'll defeat the intruders he gets back to the lab, to get his girlfriend and run away to Antarctica, where the fungi can't live due to some idiotic-posing-as-scientific reason.

What he didn't know--neither did she--is that Master Kung Fungi, the leader of the horde, was stuck on her, and now, using the lab facilities to increase his powers, MKF has possessed the girl and mixed-up their genes, becoming Über-Meca-Human-Fungi.

At this point Ben Afflek has to choose between:
a. being infected by this new strain and live together/forever with his former first-only-and-true-love;
2. making a McGyverish super bomb with penis-celine and kill Master Kung Fungi (and the girl and himself)
III. run away and change his name to Gigli


I think we have a Golden Raspberry award here...

said Leonardo Carvalho on March 26, 2009 10:34 AM.

Excellent synopsis Leo. I can't wait for all the slo-mo action sequences and mind blowing sound effects.
One question: Will Aerosmith record the title track to this movie?

said Baierman on March 26, 2009 11:00 AM.

Sure they will... they have been high on mushrooms for such a long time...

I'm just looking for a same quality level actress to be Bidet Affleck's girlfriend...

said Leonardo Carvalho on March 26, 2009 11:05 AM.
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