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Guide to Dutch Women
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The tulips, the canals, the windmills, the women. There is really nothing The Netherlands doesn't offer. (Save for the damn flying car ... let's get on it Dutch.) I'm a day away from my first trip to Holland and I thought it would be a good time to do some research on the land I'll call home for a few short days. Forgoing the restaurants, museums, and tours - I've concentrated all my research on Dutch women. After all, one should partake in everything a country has to offer.

It was during my research that I discovered there's a distinct lack of information on incredibly hot women who hail from Holland. Fearing that I'd made an awful mistake, I set out to see what exactly the Netherlands was offering in terms of females. (I was not disappointed.)

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Famke Janssen
We're off to a good start with Ms. Jansen. Turning heads as Jean Gray/Phoenix in the X-Men movies, she just as easily could have been the mutant with the ability to make dudes drool and I would have bought it. Born in the town of Amstelveen, Famke was a Victoria's Secret model before turning to acting. Most recently, she was seen in Taken.

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Rianne ten Haken
It's almost cheating when you have the word "ten" in your name. That's just too obvious. I'd never heard of Rianne before starting my dive of dutch discovery, but I'm happy to have found her. According to her Wikipedia article, "She is noted for her prominent lips and sensual smile." Which confirms what I'd always thought ... Wikipedia is written by pervs and lowlifes.

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Querelle Jansen
No relation to Famke. I usually make a point of not getting involved with any women whose names begin with "Q", but I'd make an exception for her. She puts the "DAMN!" in "Rotterdam". (Sorry, I had to get that in there somewhere.)

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Doutzen Kroes
It's going to be awkward when she wears the outfit above to Christmas next year. It's be even more awkward to hear my deaf uncle try and pronounce "Doutzen". And in case it wasn't painfully obvious, Ms. Kroes is currently one of the Victoria's Secret Angels.

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Yfke Sturm
It must have been hard for Yfke growing up. With a name that sounds like it came from Return of the Jedi, she was probably the subject of ridicule and name-calling. I too had those evils done to me, and I'd be happy to console her. She was born in the "polder" town of Almere. Wikipedia's definition of a "polder" - A polder is a low-lying tract of land enclosed by embankments known as dikes, that forms an artificial hydrological entity, meaning it has no connection with outside water other than through manually-operated devices.

Ha! Dikes!

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Bracha van Doesburgh
There's almost nothing on Bracha, which is a shame. She's been in a few movies in the Netherlands, one with the translated title of "Too Fat Too Furious".

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Carice Van Houten
Last and certainly not least, we have Carice Van Houten. She was in the Paul Verhoeven directed movie Black Book, which I never saw because it had subtitles. But since it's a Verhoeven flick, you can almost bet Carice is naked in it for 93-98% of the movie. Looks like I'll have something to watch during the flight.

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23 Comments

This is not a guide to Dutch women, rather a list of Dutch models/actors that the author fancies. Anyways, the best women in the world are Japanese. Japanese women make the best wives on earth.

said Mr. T on March 25, 2009 4:41 PM.

Hot.

said E on March 25, 2009 4:54 PM.

Makes me proud to be a Dutchman.

said kbk on March 25, 2009 5:35 PM.

Ok, so you found a few rare hot Dutch women.
That isn't reality.
I think you are up for some major dissapointment.
Go watch Greta Van Susteren on Fox news for a reality check, that's as hot as it gets over there for Dutch women.
Yeah, you'll get laid over there. You'll also get herpes and nightmares.
Dude, you should have consulted me on this one.

Have a good tiem.

said Dave on March 25, 2009 6:27 PM.

Mr. T, I don't think he's looking to get married whilst in Amersterdam.

Echowood...you'd better be on your best behavior!!

said CindylovesScara on March 25, 2009 6:41 PM.

Dutch girls like to party, no doubt about it.
Most are a healthy weight and have great skin.
Some of most sexually empowered women you are likely to find anywhere, Norway and South Africa edge in as a close second.
Have a great time!

said Chad on March 25, 2009 7:01 PM.

Hahaha! japanese women make the best wives on earth he says... poor insecure fellow...
Yeah yeah I know your wife is Japanese and ure very happy and so on.
I bet you didnt have sex before coming here (yeah, Im in Japan too) and you found so secure in this environment of you are the master I do everything you say (also in bed).
Dude, get a girl with a real personality (which, yeah, you can find here in Japan too, though I bet your wife is not one of them), not just one thats gonna do everything her master says...
And if I am wrong, go on and tell me those qualities that make Japanese the best wifes and convince me, if u dare

said For Mr. T on March 25, 2009 9:34 PM.

I go Dutch whenever possible.

said Tim on March 25, 2009 11:34 PM.

I am so open to the beliefs of other cultures!
As in..... sure, I can do that!

said EffenIdontcare on March 25, 2009 11:52 PM.

I find this non-empirical line of discussion tiring. We need representative samples of all the choice ladies to present themselves for evaluation by the proper YBNBY commenter authorities.

Ok now. Ladies..
Hello? ...
Bueller?

said E on March 26, 2009 12:42 AM.

(I call dibs on Famke btw. )

said E on March 26, 2009 12:51 AM.

FOOLS! IMBECILES!!

You forgot Ancilla Tilia : http://ancillatilia.deviantart.com/

Dutch fetish model FTW!

said Will on March 26, 2009 2:30 AM.

Love Famke! and that Ancilla is smoking hot too.

said etantao on March 26, 2009 10:15 AM.

I'm not sure what to think, courtesy of Google Streetview, the one on the right doesn't look too bad but the one on the left leaves a lot to be desired....

http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?f=q&source=s_q&hl=en&geocode=&q=amsterdam&sll=49.823809,8.789063&sspn=12.512462,26.806641&ie=UTF8&ll=52.376752,4.890118&spn=0.092428,0.209427&z=13&layer=c&cbll=52.376838,4.890109&panoid=HjCCk0TNaoIYwhX7SA0o_A&cbp=12,148.27528939761294,,0,20.434213977261564

said mart on March 26, 2009 11:22 AM.

Have a great time, Echo..we'll miss you while you're gone..

said CindylovesScara on March 26, 2009 7:18 PM.

Saw Famke in Soho a few months ago walking her dog. She's super tall and even skinnier in real life. Drop dead gorgeous too.

said carl on March 27, 2009 2:58 PM.

Dave (march 25) knows a lot about Dutch women ;-) A pitty he does not know how to avoid herpes.

said John on March 27, 2009 5:26 PM.

Great article, after reading some comments i feel i should point out some inaccuracies in your readers replies though. All Dutch women are in fact beautiful. The most beautiful of our earths inhabitants save perhaps the swedish (if you like blond). Furthermore Herpes, and most other diseases, were cured and never seen again since the 1730s. Most dutch people frown upon americans though, probably due to their propensity for bad credit, obesity and low brow culture, so the author would probably be better of pretending to be canadian.

said Tijs on March 28, 2009 6:07 AM.

Tijs,

One minor correction. According to my calculations, Herpes reappeared in Amsterdam sometime late last evening.

said Tim on March 28, 2009 12:14 PM.

"Most dutch people frown upon americans though, probably due to their propensity for bad credit, obesity and low brow culture" - sounds like the French. I'm sure if we'd let the Nazi's have you you'd love us now. Douche.

said E on March 29, 2009 3:38 PM.

You may want to go to a diffrent country. You found 8 women out of a country with a pop of 16.5 mil. Dude does not sound like good odds.

said KMc on March 30, 2009 12:58 PM.

Perfect odds if your name is Lindsey

said sarcastic one on March 30, 2009 1:55 PM.

It aint much, if it aint Dutch :)

said Mindkill on March 30, 2009 3:35 PM.
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