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Books and the Britons Who Haven't Read Them
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I knew it! Those English blokes who walk around all high and mighty with their fancy-lad accents and finger sandwiches are frauds. The whole lot of 'em. (I'm looking at you Scaramouch) When they're pontificating about James Joyce's contributions to the world of literature while wagging their fish and chips stained fingers at us slovenly American for being ill read ... they're lying. According to this article from Reuters, two out of three Britons lie about reading books they haven't. (Oddly, the number one book they lie about reading... George Orwell's 1984) So the next time some Englishman is staring down at me from his upturned nose, I'll take comfort in knowing I've read Green Eggs and Ham cover to cover ... twice.
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17 Comments

When someone says they read Finnegans' Wake I just assume they are a pathological liar.

said E on March 5, 2009 7:00 PM.

Scara *said* he read the collected works of Jane Austen back in school..bet he made that up, too.

said CindylovesScara on March 5, 2009 8:16 PM.

Personally, I think Green Eggs and Ham is worth more than two readings. And I have read the collected works of Jane Austen, but wouldn't touch Joyce or Proust with a ten foot pole.

said Barbwire on March 5, 2009 8:24 PM.

Speaking of the English, today is the 239th anniversary of the Boston Massacre. Punch a Brit in commemoration.

said Paul on March 5, 2009 9:47 PM.

I think it is unfair to say Americans read less that their Brit cousins. I mean, look at all the excellent activities to be had in the good old U.S. of A - NASCAR, cook-outs, cow-pie throwing, cat fish groping, beer chugging etc. Why in the world would you want to waste time reading James Joyce?

said juls on March 5, 2009 10:03 PM.

Yeah Juls, somebody needs to introduce the Brits to beer drinking and sports. Scara, get on that.

said E on March 5, 2009 11:16 PM.

I've read 1984.

said Scaramouch on March 5, 2009 11:48 PM.

Hows it end?

said E on March 6, 2009 12:19 AM.

in 1985.

I believe he read it--he's an American now...

said sarcastic one on March 6, 2009 12:22 AM.

Cool. I assume the good guys win after spider man shows his stuff. Fcuk reading.

said E on March 6, 2009 12:23 AM.

I can safely say I read all the Cliff Notes needed to pass my courses...

said juls on March 6, 2009 2:36 AM.

1984 is a great book, but a better album.


E- very funny response.

said Baierman on March 6, 2009 8:09 AM.

E's actually kind of right. 1984's a good book, but you can't beat V for Vendetta :)

said Scaramouch on March 6, 2009 8:16 AM.

That maybe but neither of them have Jump, Panama, Hot for Teacher, or Drop Dead Legs.

said Baierman on March 6, 2009 11:59 AM.

Panama will melt your face. Orwell has nothing on Eddie and the gang.

said Echowood on March 6, 2009 1:30 PM.

Any one else wondering what the hell "catfish-groping" is?

said CindylovesScara on March 6, 2009 6:49 PM.

Sounds kinky.

I think, though it might be related to 'noodling' - "Noodling is a southern US practice of fishing for catfish using only bare hands.", Wikipedia.

Now excuse me while I go back to drinking and watching the monster truck rally...

said E on March 6, 2009 6:58 PM.
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