A few months ago I posted 5 candies I really miss.
This is its partner. And its polar opposite. Cause these candy brands I'll never miss.
Whether it's a name or the ingredients, I don't think I'd every want to pay good money or chew the following 5 chocolate, gummi or gooey treats.
5 Bad Named Candy Brands
Popeye Cigarettes
In America, Popeye gets strength by eating Spinach. In the rest of the world he gets it from nicotine? Or sugar candy cigarettes. Then again, maybe these are his kryptonite. Word is you can still find these in Canada although they're now PC-named: Popeye's Tasty Candy Sticks.
PLOPP by Cloetta
This candy may have been inspired by that group Hanson. They had that hit in the 90s called "Mmm...Plop."
This Plopp looks just like the nuggets that plop in the toilet after a half hour of straining. I'll stick with Snickers thank you.
WHIZ Bar
Delicious Milk Chocolate Whiz?
First off, I don't' want to eat something that reminds me of pissing.
Second, I doubt it'll make me smart.
Maybe they should have made this an energy drink?
World's Worst Gummy Bears
If love Gummy Bears there are 4 things you never want associated with them:
Low-Carb. Diet. Sugar-Free. Fat-Free.
Leave it to the fitness freaks to take out everything that makes Gummy Bears Gummy Bears. This is gummy travesty.
Not sexy Gummy Parts
Candy could always be sexed up. But cow boobs and pig asses? These treats may be cute in a novelty store but these treats were sold for real overseas.
Shapely gummy pig bottoms? Um, I'll take a Kit Kat please.
Finally, a terrible mention for the Mr. Big Bar
You may like how Shaq dominates the paint, but do you really want to taste his milk chocolaty goodness?
Okay maybe you do, but not me. Even if the proceeds go to charity.
Thanks to YBNBY friend "G" for inspiring this post and tipping me off to the awesome candy wrapper museum. Check it out for lots of cool candy history. There's some classics I've never heard of before. And a great story about the 5 Cent Candy War.
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Maybe you'd prefer one of these, Baier...
http://www.candywarehouse.com/doodoocandy.html
Good with a glass of milk, maybe?
Novelty candy. for an enemy perhaps.
what about the hersey's skor? that my friend, is the best candy innuendo ever and why i ate ten of them in two hours
How about Goo Goo? Great candy but try asking a store clerk where they're located.
Excuse me, could you show me where your Goo Goos are?
Say, could take a second and point to where your Goo Goos are?
I always get a chuckle when I see NIPS in the grocery store.
When my band was on tour in the Czech Republic I found a bag of Gummy Eastern European Politicians (Lech Walesa and others.) I saved them until they melted into a bag of goo. (I don't remember if they were actual Gummy brand or something else.) This was around 1995.