Since I am the most active NASCAR fan of the contradictors, I invited the crew to my house. It was a good idea, in theory, but not in reality.
For 2 reasons mainly:
1. We don't live near each other and it's fucking expensive to charter planes and rent RVs just to come to Brooklyn for one day.
2. I don't have any forks.

But all was not lost. Thanks to modern forms of communication (email, Skype, txt message, telepathy) we were all able to keep up with each other and talk about key moments of the race.

As the race began and Martin Truex Jr. led the field around to the start/finish, I spoke to Miss Cellania via Skype. She had on a NACHO Sombrero (tasty!) and Dale Jarrett tee (old DJ just retired). Daytona 500 day is a fun one in the Cellania household because it's the one day of the year everyone, including Miss C's lovely children, leaves the second floor and is allowed to chew tobacco. Miss C said she was hoping to see a surprise this year - maybe a win by Gregg Biffle or perennial underdog Elliot Sadler.

Jeem checked in from his place via txt message. There was some technical difficulties with his HDTV signal (another Spore Cockmonsters attack?) so he was listening to the race feed via internet broadcast and following TrackPass on his computer. We gave each other the standard NASCAR "woo-hoo!"greeting and promised to fight each other post race.

Over in NJ, Scaramouch and Cindy had their own little race get-together. Scara was frying up his bacon of the month club delivery (varmint, yum!) in lard for his neighbors, while Cindy had baked a cake in the shape of her favorite drivers car. She roots for the Lowe's #48 car driven by 3-time champion and guy with the phallic name, Jimmy Johnson.

Although more a fan of Formula One - he is British after all - Sacra never misses the chance to celebrate anything truly American. (It's been this way ever since Local 77 President Dave threatened to revoke his green card.)

About midway through the race Sacra and I AIM'd each other regarding Brian Vickers ill-conceived block of Dale Jr. Personally I think Jr. is (& was) too heavy on the throttle and was being unnecessarily aggressive at such an early point in the race. Sacra is right though, Jr. was just trying to get back on the lead lap and Vickers shouldn't have done what he did.

The wreck wiped out at least a dozen cars.

Now, if you're wondering about Echowood, I'm happy to report - Yes! he did partake. Although recovering for another bout of food poisoning (Fucking LaCirc!), he and Lindsey snuggled under their lace throw pillows and "cuddled" while the race was on.

This was Echo's first time watching Daytona, so Razen and I had given him tips of what to look for (pit strategy, bump drafting) and some key phrases to blurt out (pit strategy, bump drafting, "boggity-boggity-boggity") so Lindsey would once again swoon over his brilliance!
Echo said he was leaning toward rooting for #24 Jeff Gordon given that he is sponsored by Pepsi and also slightly resembled his Grandpappy.

Echowood it seems is a quick study. I was thrilled when he called me in the middle of lap 18 wondering why last year's winner Ryan Newman was drifting to the back of the lead lap.
Was this a smart strategy?
Would this put Ryan's #33 car in danger of getting caught in a wreck?

Good question Echo. Given the size of the track, aero-push and speed of Daytona, it is not unheard of for drivers to spend the early race at the back to avoid the pack and organize in a line for a push to the front as the race progresses. At Daytona, you can go from the back to the front pretty quickly, if you have a few cars pushing you. It helped Newman win last year!

Johnny was the only YBNBY contributor I didn't hear from until after the race. He emailed from his undisclosed location... (spoiler alert: folks JW actually been working as equipment manager for the Oklahoma City Thunder and that's why he's been gone since October. Cats out of the bag. Sorry Johnny)....to tell me he didn't enjoy the race that much. As he wasn't a fan of today's NASCAR. He more of a fan of the old days, for obvious reasons. You know when The Allison Brothers battled The King Richard Petty door to door and the Mello Yellow car dominated.

I've got those races on BetaMaxx JW, when you get back, you can wear your nut hugging 80s basketball uniform and watch them.

At the end of the race everyone checked in to wish me congrats! Thanks crew!
See my favorite driver, Matt Kenseth was declared the winner. Kenseth's #17 Dewalt Fusion was leading the last couple dozen laps when the skies opened and rain poured. NASCAR suspended the race and MK, Sweet 17, the Silent Assassin, was crowned King of Daytona 2009.

I cracked open another High Life and dowsed my cats with beer. Now that's racing!
Oh and in case you're wondering about Big Dickus, he had a conflict with his Roller Derby career and had to DVR the race.
Don't give him spoilers!!!

Till next year YBNBY race fans!

PS - Can you guess which parts I made up?