The Loyal 77 and others who know how to read,
I am almost pleased to announce that I, your humble correspondent and YBNBY Keymaster of Legends, will be returning to duty.
The long weird trip that was my hiatus is coming to an end. I'm ready to get back to work. I use the word "work" quite loosely. Ranting about the illegitimacy of psychics is hardly hanging drywall.
Some of your favorite features will be returning, including; The Sports Desk, Odd History Lessons and of course, Monkey News. I think we're also going to do a third and final installment of The Pit of Hades. You know, round out the cathartic trilogy of pushing the unwanted and ridiculous into the Pit to burn for all eternity.
Now, a few caveats...
I may not be able to post and write as much as I would like for a few more weeks. Still a little busy. But I will get a handful up. Hand to heaven, I will.
Bear in mind, I am going to be a wee bit rusty. It will probably take a column or seven to clear out the cobwebs and turn in a readable screed. You thought my dreck was bad before, sweet fancy Moses, it could be horrendous before I take a few cuts in the batting cage to get my timing back.
Perhaps I should head to small, rustic cabin in remote Russia. There I could remain in isolation, surrounded by the works of Mark Twain, Dashiell Hammett, Damon Runyon, Papa Hemingway and the good Dr. Hunter S. Thompson. In between reading sessions I'll burn through vocabulary drills and sentence structure exercises - "No pain ... no pain ... no pain ... no pain ... no pain ..." - until my substandard prose gets back into shape.
When I'm ready, I'll run up the closest mountain - maybe hill, I'm tired - ditch the Russian spies that are tailing me, reach the top and hold my hands over my head in triumph.
It's good to be back.
Thanks for being able to read.
"Drago!!!!!!!"
JW
Bear in mind, I am going to be a wee bit rusty. It will probably take a column or seven to clear out the cobwebs and turn in a readable screed. You thought my dreck was bad before, sweet fancy Moses, it could be horrendous before I take a few cuts in the batting cage to get my timing back.
Perhaps I should head to small, rustic cabin in remote Russia. There I could remain in isolation, surrounded by the works of Mark Twain, Dashiell Hammett, Damon Runyon, Papa Hemingway and the good Dr. Hunter S. Thompson. In between reading sessions I'll burn through vocabulary drills and sentence structure exercises - "No pain ... no pain ... no pain ... no pain ... no pain ..." - until my substandard prose gets back into shape.
When I'm ready, I'll run up the closest mountain - maybe hill, I'm tired - ditch the Russian spies that are tailing me, reach the top and hold my hands over my head in triumph.
It's good to be back.
Thanks for being able to read.
"Drago!!!!!!!"
JW
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Welcome back, my friend, to the show that never ends.
Thanks pal. Hope you've been well.
Yes you can Johnny. Eye of the tiger bro. The. Eye. Of. The. Tiger.
JW!!!
Welcome back!!!!
Bad news...your Pit of Hades has been ripped off twice...once by me (http://forum.yesbutnobutyes.com/archives/2008/12/in-honor-of-mr-wright.html), and a second time by Echo. We both gave you credit...but I'd figure I'd let you know that your edition will really be version #5.
Luckily we have many pissed off people around here--lots to vent about.
Scara might be the first poster once Cindy and the kids give him his backwards robe for Valentine's Day....
Also, CLC is on sabbatical, but we have gained two very cool female additions--alex and Vicky, both fellow members of the pillowfight club. We may have to invite you over to explain football to alex (she's orig from the other side of the pond, so forgive her ignorance of the game)
Thank you S.O. I heard you have been wearing a black veil around since I have been gone.
Eye of the Tiger, E. Eye of the freaking Tiger.
J-Dub
Phew!
Best. News I've read all day. Good to (almost) have ya back -
Welcome backbutnotbutback Monkey-boy!
JW...well, it was something black and lacy, but it was for the benefit of my fiance'....
Of course, if you were the peeping Tom we almost caught last week, I hope you enjoyed the show ;-)
Sorry about stealing the Pit of Hades bit. In fact, I've been using most of your good stuff since you left. But welcome back.
Welcome back, man.
I know you're more into monkeys than apes, but have you heard about these bonobos? I think you would dig them.
Forgive me scepticism, But I think this so called 'Johnny Wright' is a fake.
I mean, Just a day or so ago Dave claims over in the forum that Johnny is never coming back and we all know it and then BAM, Here he is, Back from the dead.
COINCIDENCE?
You decide.
Well, shit...there goes the planet. Welcome back, Johnny.
See, I told you I was rusty. My writing is so bad my boy Frank the Tank doesn't believe it's actually me.
That settles it. I'm heading to the cabin.
It's either Johnny, or Old Man Smithers under that mask, trying to run off us pesky kids.
Either way it ought to be an interesting trip. Hang on kids and enjoy the ride!
Welcome Back J-Dub.
Oh yeah, Jeem, indeed I do know about the bonobos. Also known as the pygmy chimp. They're endangered and hilarious.
Forgive me skepticism, but I think 'Frank The Tank' is a fake.
I mean, as soon as any good news of any kind is released around here, Our Man Frank comes along and pisses all over everything with his conspiracy theories. C'mon buddy, you've got to let it all hang loose.
Besides, I have been scrutinizing the subliminal messages in Frank's postings for quite some time now. I believe that I have assembled almost enough evidence to indict him for the murder of JonBenet.
It was Frank The Tank, in the Grassy Knoll, with the Lead Pipe.
Tim, it was a snowy knoll...Colorado, winter, remember?
Worry not Tim, The whole conspiracy deal is just to stir up the pot a little. If every message was welcome back JW I would get a little bored reading them all. Variety is the spice of life after all.
Johnny know's we all welcome him back with open arms.
And I loved JonBenet, I didn't mean for it to happen :'(
That is why Frank the Tank is my boy.
Awwww, Thanks J-Dud.
Now, I truly feel like a belong.
Haha, I did mean J-Dub. Typo, but with funny results.
Dr. Freud, you have a call on line 1. Dr. Freud, a call on line 1...
Dammit Frank.
Very nice to find you aboard once more!
JW disappears and the economy goes to hell. JW comes back and the economy is...well, still in the gutter. There goes my sabotage theory.
We must break you.
welcome back JW. hope all is well with you and yours.
odd that you're coming back right around the time pitchers and catchers are getting ready to report. very odd.
i just might have to start checking in here a little more often now that you're gona be offering again.