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Haterade's Idol Anal-ysis: Group 2

Welcome to the second American Idol Anal-ysis of the 2009 season. Last week, Haterade got 2 of the 3 singers correct, and was only 20,000 votes away from the Trifecta (something that The Jason did have). They are both back to discuss this week's singers.

But first, I love to answer your mail and comments you leave. One of such was a great question on 'Song Selection' and why it is important. Song Selection is vitally important because the 90 or so seconds that you have to sing said song is 95% of what America has to judge the you by. So here's some tips on said selection.

Good Selection:
1. Selecting a song that displays a range. Both 'Hero' and 'Never Loved a Man' (which were the songs that Top 12 Finalists Danny Gokey and Alexis Grace sang) were songs that displayed a wide range, and they are both songs that can really make a singer look good.

2. Select a song people have heard before. All 3 songs that got the 3 singers in (which include Michael Sarver's Rendition of 'I Don't Wanna Be') are songs that the public knows - which means that if the same public know the singers are performing them well, they will vote for the good singers en masse.

3. Show us who you are...in a broad spectrum. We know we're getting rock from Michael, pop from Danny Gokey and white soul from Alexis Grace.

4. Make it your own. This is the tricky one, but something that AI Season 7 winner David Cook excelled at. Don't just give us the same song back, note by note. Do something different with it - make vocal inflections, create a more challenging track that wasn't in the original, or sing it in a different style. Alexis gave us a completely different version of Aretha's classic that made the voters take notice.

Bad Selection:
1. Sing a song with no range - or the wrong range. Brent Smith gave us a no vocal range 'Hick Town'. Stevie Wright and Casey Carlson both took songs and put them in a register that was too low for their voices to handle.

2. Sing a song that's too limited or something we haven't heard of. If you sing an unknown song, even if you hit it out of the park, the audience won't connect with the song as well as someone who knows how the song is supposed to sound. That's what killed Ricky Braddy, as he sang great with a song that nobody knew.

3. Genre selection. If you're an R&B singer, and you're trying to show off your personality, you should not be singing a country song. Or if you're a rocking Stephen Fowler, you shouldn't be singing Michael Jackson. Find a song that matches your genre and defines who you are as a singer.

4. Finally, not making it your own. If you select a song, you must inject your own personality into it. If you just repeat the song, it's called 'Karaoke' or 'Sung by the numbers', and the worst thing you can be at this stage is forgettable or non-memorable. And don't be memorable for the wrong reasons - don't be indulgent (singing a song because you like it, instead of what you think America will vote for).

And with that, we're live...with Ryan Seacrest. We're also here with The Jason - Mr. Jason Block, who wants to stay perfect this season. Once again, we will have 12 singers, and only the top male, top female and top alternate get in. The judges expect the singers to be better than last week, and Paula has given us the mantra to sing the right song.

With that, we start with Jasmine Murray, a 17 year old high school student from Mississippi. She starts us off with "Love Song" by Sara Barelles.
The Good - She certainly puts the emotion and attitude you need to make this song pay off. It's an interesting way to make the song work, and a more seasoned performer would make this special.
The Bad - And that's the problem here. She was consistently out of pitch on this song and no attitude will save a song sung from someone who sounds like they are bouncing on a trampoline. She also violated rule #1 of song selection - this song has no vocal range whatsoever, and if she really wanted to make it her own, she should have nailed those high notes to make that bubble gum pop song sound like high class Rembrandt Chewing Gum, instead of those old 5 cent pieces of Bazooka Joes.
The Jason - Bad way to start. She is trying to make it her own. But by doing that...she is trying to R&B a song that doesn't need it. She is gone.
The Verdict - I disagree with The Jason in the form that you don't need to R&B this sort of song. You do need to R&B it or else it becomes forgettable. But I do agree that this was a bad song choice because the melody line is simple and it doesn't exploit her vocal range. And I also agree with Jason that she's gone.

Is there a place for Matt Giraud in the Top 12? The dueling piano player has been a Top 12 Dark Horse, and he needs to duel past Coldplay's 'Viva La Vida' in order to do it.
The Good - It's a good choice of song to get votes. It's a nice young song that hasn't been sung often. And the leather jacket makes him look cool, in a young Leonardo DiCaprio 'Basketball Diaries' sort of way.
The Bad - Why is a soul singer that has a tremendous tremolo voice trying to sing a rock song like this? He can't hit the pitch and really misses the high notes. If Jasmine sounded like she was on a trampoline, Matt sounds like he's...I can't say it...that there's some sort of vibrating device...um...plugged into his...ummm...seat cheeks.
The Jason - Say Wha?
The Bad - (Taking a deep breath) My first thought when he was singing is that he was clenching a vibrating dildo through his ass cheeks. There. I said it.
The Jason - But again...tis better to sing a song straight than to be too experimental. His voice/vibrato is awful. 2 for 2 in bombs.
The Verdict - I don't know why an R&B singer is picking a rock song. He should have sung something that's more like his vocal style and instead we get a mess. Unless vibrating dildos and billy goats get to vote, this will be the last time we see Matt.

We need a good performance. Jeanine Vailes could be it. Last week, the singer in the 3rd spot was Alexis Grace, and she sang lights out. Perhaps 'This Love' by Maroon 5 could be it.
The Good - Like Jasmine, she brings the attitude. And she has a nice professional jacket, so she'll look great in her next interview. And yes, she has great legs. Maybe she can go for her next gig as a Serena or Venus Williams look-a-like.
The Bad - Pitchy all over the place. And the R&B singer is singing Maroon 5? Wha? Another blatant song selection violation. Based on what we've heard so far, a nice R&B song choice easily gets her in as top female. Instead, we've now heard 3 really bad and ill-prepared performances. What's going on here?
The Jason - I think she is flat.
The Bad - Well...she is....oh you mean the vocals.
The Jason - Yes :). Has anyone learned about song choice? Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Sing to your strengths. Everyone is being self-indulgent. We are 0 for 3.
The Verdict - Tyra Banks is looking for America's Next Top Model a few blocks away. That's where she should go next, because this is all the stage time we'll be getting from her on this show, until the inevitable cut in 24 hours.

Nick Mitchell ...or Norman Gentle...or Priscilla, Queen of the Desert...is next. Is it wrong to say that after these first 3 train wrecks that I'm looking forward to this?
The Jason - No. I think he is going to sing it straight and blow people away.
The Haterade - That would be the only thing he does straight. (Rim Shot). Anyhoo, he will entertain us with...'And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going?' Oh Man...
The Good - I think the fact that he is vocally the most onpoint so far tonight scares the BeJesus out of me. it was...entertaining. And the headband is stylish.
The Bad - Unfortunately, my job isn't to just grade the entertainment value. My job is to grade the overall performance. This was an awful mess. Pitchy all over the place. Completely misses the money notes. And I'd rather see Simon Cowell get an enema than be subjected to this ever again.
The Jason - Hold on a minute...this is in tune...and he can sing? Holy cow. He takes the lead among the males. The problem is that he needs to sing it straight to get further than the top 12. If he sang it totally straight he gets in. If he doesn't get in, he will probably have a shot in the Wild Card round.
The Verdict - Last week, I had Jamar Rogers, the person who got cut for some of these male singers, napalming his TV set. I think his weapon of choice this week will be an outdoor powerboat motor. Was Nick entertaining? In a warped sort of way, yes. The problem is he has to get America's vote, and during this past Summer's America's Got Talent, we had Drag Queen Shequida, who was much better than Mitchell - and who didn't get within sniffing distance of getting past Round 1. Assuming we get some sort of capable performances in the next 2 hours (which may be at even money at best), I see Nick going the same route as Shequida.

I'm looking for some sort of musical salvation this evening. Allison Iraheta is from High School. and she's singing 'Alone' by Heart. She compares this to going to school. They do drug testing at school don't they? Or do they stop off at the Jason Castro cafeteria before they sing?
The Good - She brings some spunk and fire to the performance. She hits the notes....well for the first half of the song. And she tries to make the song her own by adding her own trills, which I guess has to count for SOMEthing. At least somebody FINALLY picked the right song.
The Bad - This devolves vocally in the second half of the performance. It also looks like she has moments where she's about to forget the lyrics. If we set our time machine back 7 years and if Allison lost 50 pounds, I think we'd have the second coming of Nikki McKibbin.
The Jason - What is it with the self-indulgent crap tonight? Can we get one singer who can sing in tune, in pitch through the whole song please? This is bad.
The Verdict - Unfortunately, the judges have to let SOMEone get through. By far the best so far, but the best so far is around a '6' out of 10, and she could very easily be trumped in the second hour of this broadcast.

We end the first hour with country crooner Kris Allen, who will be singing...Michael Jackson's 'Man in the Mirror'? Good grief.
The Good - It's an interesting choice of song, and not nearly as bad as what I thought the performance was going to be. He does a much better job of twisting the song to make it his own vocals. He hit some really nice money notes at the end of the performance.
The Bad - Indulgent. This is a country-bluegrass singer and he can't find anything better than Michael Jackson? VERY shaky first half of the song may have overlapped his better second half.
The Jason - He is the best male performer BY FAR. But that doesn't mean much in this horrible night.
The Verdict - This is the male version of '6' out of 10. The best male so far, but this is probably the worst first half in the history of American Idol that I have ever heard. I have a feeling that our Top 3 vote-getters will be selected from the performances in the second half of the show.

Hey Jason, If you had a choice between listening to this again or watching an hour of the latest in goat porn, which would you prefer?
The Jason - Give the Goat Porn and a bottle of Jack Daniels!

That about sums up that hour nicely. By the way, all of these downloads will be available tomorrow if you wish to torture any terrorists in the Middle East.

Now on to hour #2, which will be bigger and better (definitely better, because it can't get much worse). Megan Corkrey looks to start us off on a happy note with Put Your Records on by Corinne Rae Bailey.
The Good - We finally get a decent performance which features singing, belting the notes out and singing phrases musically. The outfit looks like Minerva the Goddess coming out with the sun after the thunderstorm that was the first half of the show.
The Bad - I was talking about the second half of the song. The first half was very scary, flat and lifeless. And don't talk back to Simon.
The Jason - Thank You Corinne. You put my faith back in the singers. Great stuff.
The Verdict - I'm still yet to be impressed. It showed flashes of good, but it also showed flashes of suck. I think she is good, but we have yet to hear the final 5 singers.

Matt Breitzke is here to weld some iron for all of America! Can he steel your votes with 'If You Can Only See'?
The Good - A definitive song choice, because he gets to perform in his own element, and we see who he is - a Southern rocker. He performs it well and hits the notes.
The Bad - Here's why I agree with Simon on the song choice, which is definitive, but not great. We know who he is, but we don't know how well he can sing, because that song doesn't show any fire, guts or a vocal range.
The Jason - Matt's voice was great. The rest of him looked like he was singing it at a Karaoke bar. I loved how he sang it. I didn't like how he performed it.
The Verdict - Remember the Karaoke clip about Matt? I also said this about Michael Sarver, and he got in via the Wild Card vote. If Kai and Adam don't impress, then Matt can get there the same way.

Jessica Langseth hopes to prove Simon wrong when he said that she has no shot of winning American Idol. The song of choice? 'Bette Davis Eyes' by Kim Carnes.
The Good - The locks of her hair contrasts quite nicely with the blue of her dress. The hair is flowing and we can see the panorama of the contouring color of her eyes, as they mesh with Bette Davis. Altruistically quaint.
The Bad - She doesn't have Bette Davis' sense of pitch. If you are going to tackle this song, you need to 1. hit the hard tone on it and 2. hit the high notes and not purposely take the song lower so you can cop out on said notes. Jessie does neither and she compounds the problem by arguing with Randy when he's absolutely right. If Bette Davis was watching this, she'd walk onstage and attack Jessie with a spatula.
The Jason - Again, this is the same problem with Matt. Love the voice...hate the look and performance.
The Verdict - Jessie is looking to prove Simon wrong. She failed miserably. I thought the judges clapping to the drum track was more exciting than the performance. Bye, Jessie.

Kai Kalama is looking to be dirty with 'What becomes of the Broken Hearted'. The last person who was told to be dirty? Alexis Grace, and she made the Top 12.
The Good - This is probably the best choice of song that we have gotten tonight. This is also the most competent performance that we have seen. Notice that I'm saying competent...
The Bad - ...but not good. It's a great choice of song, but the problem is that he did nothing with it. This is a song that screams to improvise, throw in grace notes, hold notes out, or do SOMEthing with the song. Instead, we get a classic 'sing by the numbers' performance which is the standard version of Karaoke, or to paraphrase Simon, I could see him doing this on a cruise ship at 1am for a last dance between 40-50 something couples who have ingested more than their share of the same Jack Daniels that Jason Block was imbibing while getting through the goat porn.
The Jason - When you sing a song like this, you have to make the audience feel you. In this performance, there was no intensity. It felt like he was mailing it in.
The Verdict - If we go back to song selection, we are looking for a song that will make you jump out of your chair to vote. This was pleasant, but boring. Even Nick Mitchell had people feeling some sort of emotion on his performance to make himself memorable. The only emotion I felt here is ennui.

Mishavonna Henson, despite getting no screen time, sees the door wide open due to the lack of vocal prowess by her fellow female contestants. Can she take advantage with 'Drops of Jupiter' by Train?
The Good - She does a good job with the song. The performance is nice to hear, and from a melody standpoint, is pleasant to listen to.
The Bad - Remember the comments that I had for Kai? Let's put them here too. The judges call her too old. That's not the issue. The issue is that her song wasn't mainstream enough and the lack of spunk (which the first 3 contestants clearly had) made her sound like she was a 50 year old singer who was trying to see if her extra energy was in the same bathroom cabinet as her dentures and extra Viagara pills she sneaks in her husbands oatmeal she prepares for breakfast.
The Jason - What is up with the song selection? No one should be singing group led song if you can't carry it off? Not only was she not Pat Monahan, she sounded as boring as Pat Riley.
The Verdict - It was the best technical female performance by a country mile. But I think the wrong song here combined with lack of spunk is going to be very problematic.

We finish this very forgettable evening with Adam Lambert, who rocks out 'Satisfaction' by The Rolling Stones.
The Good - Now THIS is what I was talking about making a song their own. Great job in interpreting the music and spiking up the song.
The Bad - What was up with that opening slow 2 mile an hour opening sing outs? Completely not necessary and really hampered the start of the song.
The Jason - Was I satisfied? BIG TIME
The Verdict - It wasn't perfect, but it was a great performance, and he showed everyone exactly how you should be singing on that stage. He gets in, easily.

And we mercifully end this show tonight. My first thought is that with the powehouses that you have lurking in group 3, it's a shame that some of them couldn't have migrated into this group. I know the intention may have been to put all the unknowns into one group to give them a chance, but what you have instead is 2 hours of rationale on why these people got no camera time to begin with (and in 1 case, way too much camera time than what should have been allotted).

So we know that Adam Lambert is in. The question is who joins him? I think that as competent as Megan was, it was Allison who got pimped out by the judges and will find herself (undeservedly) in the Top 12. As for the wild card, I think that it should be a toss up between Megan Corkery and Kris Allen, but I think it will go to Matt Brietzke, as he will get in the same way Michael Sarver did - more face time and a nicer rocker style. But that being said, because of how awful or non-memorable all of these performances were, any of them could get in - and that includes vibrating dildo boy.

Picks: Adam Lambert, Allison Iraheta, Matt Brietzke
Bubbling Under: Nick Mitchell, Megan Corkery, Kris Allen, Mishiovanna Henson
Invited To Wild Card Show if they don't get in: Adam Lambert, Allison Iraheta, Nick Mitchell


The Jason - This is the most brutal 2 hours that I have seen in a long time. Unfortunately, I have to pick 3 people. Adam Lambert gets in, Megan Corkery gets in by default, and I am picking the crazy Nick Mitchell to make it into the Wild Card, with a VoteForTheWorst.com surge.

The Jason's Picks: Adam Lambert, Megan Corkery, Nick Mitchell
Bubbling Under: Allison Iraheta, Matt Brietzke, Mishiovanna Henson
Invited To Wild Card Show if they don't get in: Adam Lambert, Allison Iraheta, Matt Brietzke, Nick Mitchell


Join us in 24 hours to see Adam and 2 other people who should not be getting in advance.
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6 Comments

According to Vote For The Worst, the wild card tryouts don't all have to be picked from the finalists, so we could see some returning singers from Hollywood week.

said Scaramouch on February 26, 2009 8:23 AM.

That's correct. Actually, in the history of this format in American Idol, every year in the Wild Card round they have brought back people who didn't make the finals (such as Carmen Rasmussen in Season 2). I could easily see Jamar Rogers be brought back into the show, as well as Jennifer Corbi.

G.

said Haterade on February 26, 2009 9:22 AM.

Any chance Kara will be dropped as a judge for future seasons? I just can't stand listening to her. She may ok to look at but the stuff she says is just dreadful. Why did they add her at all?

said case on February 26, 2009 9:37 AM.

Here's what I don't get. The judges go on and on about song selection ..why don't *they* pick the song the contestant should sing? We are judging based on best vocals so shouldn't they be singing a song that is best for them?
I did think it was pretty dismal last night with a few high points. Megan was doing a weird dance which made it difficult for me to watch her. And although I'm not knocking Adam Lambert's vocals, something about him does not ring true to me..he doesn't seem authentic.. I guess it doesn't matter, really..Just seems weird.
Not loving the comment about Allison and the 50 pounds. I don't really see the Nikki McKibbon similarity so you lost me on that one.
I had high hopes for Kai, but he disappointed..what a bummer!

I do hope they bring back Jamar Rogers. He's a talented guy. And it would be great to see a season finale with Jamar and Danny.

said CindylovesScara on February 26, 2009 10:42 AM.

why are you guys so hung up on jamar? he wasnt that good. he was only interesting because he was buds with danny.

i dont like the format this year. they are basically steering the votes by how much coverage they've provided for each singer leading up to this round. makes it way too predictable.

said fred on February 26, 2009 2:00 PM.

I'm not sure that the judges know any better, to be honest. Who better to know how to sing than the singers? I also don't think the judges should select because it's a competition between the singers. You don't want to accuse a judge of showing favoritism towards or against any one competitior, so I think the contestants should thrive or die by their own selections.

I actually think that Kara is a nice add to the show. She brings industry insight that the other judges don't bring to the party. However, as someone who has been in that industry, she needs to sometimes break down what she says so that the general audience could understand her better.

Quick notes on singers:

Megan: I think her dance did her in. The fact that she wasn't concentrating on the vocals is going to be very problematic if the judges send her to the Top 12 (which I don't think they should do)

Kai: I expected a lot more from him. Singing back a song with no soul is not going to get you to advance in this competition.

Adam: I also didn't think he was authentic, per se. It felt rehearsed. He performed though, and that performance was good - a rusted life jacket in a sea of suck, but that rehearsed feeling is going to cost him later on down the line.

Allison: I can't post a pic of Nikki McKibbin here, but go to the night where she dyed her hair red. The similarity is eerily similar. I hope that Allison doesn't go down that road, though.

G.

said Haterade on February 27, 2009 7:22 AM.
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