We at YesButNoButYes pride ourselves on being leaders in pop culture. Which is why we're bringing you 25 Things You Don't Know About Us about two weeks after it exploded. For those of you unaware of what I'm talking about, the newest self-indulgent and boastful meme on Facebook is to list 25 things most people don't know about you. And because we have cared so deeply about people's six toes, hooking up with the drummer from Letters to Cleo, and enjoying the smell of their boyfriend's farts, we thought you'd enjoy learning about some of YesButNoButYes's secrets.
- We have dual citizenship in both the United States and Switzerland.
- While serving time in Idaho, we got a tattoo of Judy Garland on our ass.
- Scaramouch is a member of the Bohemian Club and has had a major affect on all presidential elections for the past twenty years.
- 95% of the time, we have absolutely no idea what we're doing.
- The passcode to hack traffic signs is "D-O-T-S".
- Just because we have a signed calendar of New Kids on the Block does not mean we aren't above selling it for a hefty profit on eBay.
- We watch porn ... a lot. Like, almost to the point of being radically unhealthy.
- For all of 1994, our shit was orange with purple candy cane-like stripes encircling it. We still aren't sure why.
- We thought about walking 500 miles for you, but gave up at 8.25 outside a Wendy's and decided a triple cheeseburger would be much more satisfying than anything you could possibly give us.
- Putting grass clippings and oregano in rolling papers and trying to smoke them will only burn your throat and cause your friends to make fun of you.
- We are incapable of using recalcitrant in a sentence.
- When peeing in a moving car (while driving), do not use a standard plastic Coke bottle. Use something with a wider opening and never, NEVER, hold your unit tight to the opening. Doing so will create pressure in the bottle once you start urinating and will most likely blow, turning your penis into a fire hose of urine. (This one is really only for guys.)
- You can get a drifter to do almost anything when plying them with enough alcohol.
- We're magically youthful due to our use of Pearl Cream.
- We used to write for Lost, but left after season two when the producers told us they had absolutely no idea where the story was heading.
- Have you ever seen Yentl? Yeah, that was about us.
- Last year, when we were down in Myrtle Beach on Spring Break? Remember when we told you we only got to second base with that cute guy from Clemson? Well, we totally went all the way. Spring Break RULES! BTW... we need to make reservations to Cancun pronto ladies!!!
- We invested heavily in Laser Tag, assuming it would replace Baseball as America's Sport.
- We had our left butt cheek pierced (near, but not on top of the Judy Garland tattoo) and we'd do it again!
- We've always wanted to get our pilot's license.
- All the "regular" commenters on here are just the writers using pseudonyms in order to drum up popularity for their stories.
- Our corporate office has a trampoline in it.
- Truth be told, we aren't exactly sure when Johnny is coming back (or if he is).
- Our favorite movie is Teen Wolf Too.
- We can bullshit anything.
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Wow--I really wrote a great post this time...
(Crap!)
Echo, this was a really funny post!
Did you know that there is no money in being a pseudonym....
None whatsoever....
Yep, SP, I knew that too...
but maybe because we're the same person!
(shhhhh....maybe no one will read #21 on the list)
Thank God that is finally out in the open and can cast this charade into The Pit.
I've always looked upon my assigned YBNBY moniker with disgust as it reminds me of the time I was repeatedly raped by Tiny Tim as a young chimp. The man was more freak than you can possibly imagine. Miss "Vicky" knows what I'm talking about ...
So, I shall take this opportunity to revert back to my stage name and hereafter be known as:
Wad Holmes, The Wonder Monkey
(Vicky knows what I'm talking about ...)
ummm...does that make you dead since 1988?
and am I the only non-YBNBY staffer on here?
or am I ALSO a YBNBY staffer stuck in some autistic kid's dream sequence?
...Your mum's being quite recalcitrant tonight...
Hmmm..I think Scara has been hiding the Pearl Cream from me..
25 was my favorite ;)
Thank you for making a Teen Wolf Too reference. Every page on the internet should make a Teen Wolf Too reference.