So I'm supposed to write something highlighting all the extremely funny pieces I have written for YBNBY. It's a ploy to convince you we are funny and that you should vote for us at the 2008 Weblog Awards for the Most Humorous Blog award. After all, Scaramouch decided early on that humor was to be our goal. I've looked over the selection and I must admit the pickings are slim. This past year, I only wrote one article that made it into the Top Twenty YBNBY Stories of 2008, and that one wasn't even funny.
I think I've found what my problem is. Continue reading for a lame explanation.
The truth is, real life got into the way a bit in 2008. I spent a good chunk of time moving into a new house that may be haunted or maybe not. I had some trouble getting my internet set up by the cable company. That was in August, and just this past Monday, after a half-dozen requests, they finally buried the cable.
So I looked back a little further to find out if I'd ever been funny. Scaramouch posted my top ten stories for my birthday over a year ago, and they're not funny either! They're all about sex! Porn stars, groupies, sex education -well, maybe the sex education post was a bit funny.
Why am I always writing about sex toys or underwear or penises? I do tend to write quite a bit about penises. Writing about products seems to be simple for me, even though I don't use things like Liquid Virgin, musical vibrators, or products that let a woman pee standing up. However, I am interested in the history of such objects, and glad to do the research for you, even the homemade ones.
Posting videos seems to be all I have time for anymore, but whether they are about UFOs, Star Wars, or even heavy equipment, they all turn out to be about sex. Not funny at all. What is wrong with me?
For this lack of interesting and amusing material, I offer my humble apologies to all of you. I'm just not a funny person. Sorry.
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Miss C. I think a writers block for humor is easily created when you immerse yourself that deep as you have into the underworld of extreme hardcore pornography.
Take for example the gay midget beastiality sites that you frequent.
After a couple of hours in that funhouse, you aren't thinking about the comedy of midgets and donkeys, your mind is filled with thoughts of lust and passion.
You've heard the old saying,"you reap what you sow?"
I think it's true. When your mind is sown with intense hardcore perversions of sexual seed, day in and day out, barely taking time to nourish it with food, your creative blade will reap sexual material.
If you are looking to change the genre of your writing style, I would suggest starting out slowly by giving at least 15 minutes of your porno time to some comedy time.
Start from there and work up just ten minutes per week.
You'll get there. I'm a firm believer that your talents extend much further than the dark world of extreme hardcore sexuality.
Love Dave.
"after a half-dozen requests, they finally buried the cable."
Al-riiiiiight!
Sorry, Miss C. I had to take that shot ... ya' know, it's a humor blog and all.
(Next time I'll actually make it funny.)
Ms. C, I think the porn stuff is just your niche...
Hear me out.
Look at the contributors to this blog... Aside from you, the place is a major league sausagefest. Now, if scaramouche decided to post a whole lot of porn links, or french girls straddling a pole, soon the blog would be the the running for "Best Mysogynyst Blog" instead of humor. Instead they have their lone kitten in the dog house to do the heavy lifting for them.
Woody Allen once said that unless your Jewish, you can't tell jokes about Jews. Not only does your gender act as a human shield to protect this heah blog from criticism of being a sexist playground for boys fascinated by bodily functions, but your perspective also makes the articles interesting rather than being "Hey, check out Jessica Alba's butt, she's hot." Even as a man I find that genre of blogging to be cheap and tasteless. And heck, who doesn't wonder what happened to Aunt Peg?
Anyway, I've always liked your contributions to the cause, and even read your personal blog as well. (Which oddly enough is generally funny) So, don't go changing to try and please us, don't change the color of your hair. You'll always have our unspoken chuckles although it seems that they're not there.
And I missed your birthday... Happy 25th birthday.
Well, you post a whole lot of humor on your own blog.
You post neat stuff on neatorama.
You post tech stuff on geeksaresexy.
You post thinking stuff on mentalfloss.
That does kind of leave the shadier stuff for this place.
And that brings up another thing... you're really not just one person, are you? Miss Cellania is actually a staff of people, right?
WE are firmly in last place now!
YES!!!!!
Considering YBNBY gets a lot more traffic than 8 out of the 9 blogs it's up against, it's very.... surprising.. we're not doing better. In some cases, it almost looks like some sites are getting more votes than they have daily readers.
Hmmmmm.
I think LostInDaJungle and Brother Bill together have it figured out. At least, I would like to think they are closer to the mark than Dave!
Miss C. You know I know what I know because I know a lot more than you know that I know, If you know what I know.