In my life, I have been privy to many opportunities that have helped broaden my horizons. From reforming prostitutes at Unhook (where we sat around the campfire singing songs and cooking sm'hores) to shaving Scaramouch's head during my intern days (therapy still can't help me forget cigar day), I felt like I had done it all. Luckily as a new year starts out, I can now add Women's Roller Derby Refing to my ever-growing list of lifetime achievements. Nothing is better than spending a weekend with Puncher P. Hole and Slaughterhouse Jive. Unfortunately my creative mind is shot and the best derby names I can come up with are:
Willy Seeit (or Dizzy Seeit)
Indy Sisive
N.P.C. (for the nerds!)
This leads me to my next point.........
A Name the Ref Contest! I know you guys have a serious creative (and competitive) streak, so what I'm proposing is to submit your ideas for a derby ref name in the comments section and I'll pick the best 3 or 4 or 5 and put them to a vote. The winner will get a 2-fer prize pack: 1 YesButNoButYes T-shirt and 1 Columbia Quad Squad Rollergirls shirt (from the team I ref for). Good luck!
Before submitting a name, please click here to make sure it isn't taken yet.
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Reddit!
Ida Slapter
Dixie Nourmous (fits with Biggus no?)
Buster Hymen
Fa-Douche
Doc. Block
Saddlebag
Das Zebra
The obvious: Bigus Dickus?
I DJ for a roller derby league regularlty and have thought of a few over the years. I should write them down, but here are one I remember, organized by categories:
Crimes:
Grant Larceny
Tom Petty Theft
Ross Titution
M. Bezzlement
Sex Acts:
Jim Job
Phil R. Up
Famous Blind People (good for refs):
Skeevy Wonder
Jose Sleezyano
Clash Songs:
Dwight Riot
Mod,
Admin,
Scaramouch,
Master Bates,
Blind Melon
I was saving this one for my co-worker who has no idea he's my superhero teams first villain-Dr. Wankenstien.
The Decider
The Idiot Karamazov
Queen LaQueefa
Queefer Sutherland
Indy Cent
Stegoscorus
Sheik Yorbouty
Ref Tribution
Militia Etheridge
Phil McCrackin
The Artist Formerly Known as Biggus Dickus (or use some goofy sign)
Helen Wheels
Hugh G. Rection
Hooty Cummin
Sonny Dee
Commander in Queef
Queef Richards
One Guy Named Moe
Queefer McQueefington
Nicely done Paul. I think that's the one I'd go with.
Ida Tappthatt?
Slack Bauer?
Hans Muffin?
Phineas T. Mallcop?
Dinty Less?
and for the spanish speaking,
Sr. 'Ace' Seguro De Vida!
James Bomb
James Bong
Ascot Chillin'
Michael Landon
Professor Phineas J. Whoopee? (tried to remember that earlier... obscure?)
Flo Hymen?
Dee Snuts? (dammit... variation?)
Les Bean?
Obi-Blonde Kenobi?
Luke Skyroller?
Darth Hater?
Hiro Kitty?
Doctor Shocker the III?
Count De Money?
I gotta go to bed... =p
Bruise Lee
Block and Deck-her
Spike E. Bush
Another I had was
Rick Allen's Left Arm
but I figured it was too long to put on the back of a ref jersey.
Georgia O'Queef
Hominy Grits
Shock and Awe
What's up with the queef love going on here?
The word 'queef' is unspeakably fun to type. I don't know why. Fortunately self analysis is not my forte.
Here's another name:
Privy Member
Ryder Hard
Lez Gogh
Bad Oedipus
Sandy Duncan's Left Eye
The Driveway Gynecologist
Gus O' Lean
Inspector Closely
Wank D. Blog anyone?