Jesus Christ.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Elvis Presley.
These are but a few of history's noble souls who died for their beliefs and have been subsequently immortalized in the fittingly noble medium of black velvet paintings. (Okay, so that 3rd guy's beliefs apparently included eating a fistful of amphetamines while taking a crap, but who's counting?)
Anyway, the latest demigod to join the ranks of the inspirational velvet pantheon is none other than Mr. Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher, a.k.a. Joe the Plumber. That's right, for just $250 (+ $15 shipping), you can pay tribute to this "All-American Tabloid Hero, Modern American Media Martyr" with this stunning 18"x24" masterwork that is as easy on the fingertips as it is on the eyes (frame not included.)
Hang it proudly and let it serve as a shining beacon of hope to all your fellow working-class heroes out there. Who are not actually licensed to operate within their chosen profession. And who owe the government back taxes. And have recently been employed as war correspondents covering the Gaza conflict even though they feel "media should be abolished from, you know, reporting." (Talk about your self-sacrifice, huh? It's like the guy WANTS to be permanently unemployed! Martyrdom, indeed.)
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Martyr? Does that mean he's dead?
If only.
I think he's, like, a symbolic martyr to our insatiable demand for simplistic answers...or our 24-hour news cycle...uh, media something-or-other.
Okay, I have no flippin' idea. Maybe Tijuana artist Argo explains it on that handsome Certificate of Authenticity that comes with the painting?
I'm sure there's some "cling to our guns and religion" folk here in Hooterville who will jump at the chance to own this...hell, my mom might like this for Mothers Day! Unbelievable!
Guess I got my hopes up for nothing then. Oh well.