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Free Face

kistner.jpgGeorge Kistner is offering free oral sex to women in the Louisville area. All you have to do is sign up.

To all of the beautiful, single women in and around Louisville:

This page is for you. I am a man whose favorite thing to do is give oral sex to attractive young women. I love it and enjoy pleasing the women that I know and meet. I know that every woman is different, and I have been out of practice for a while. Since every woman is different in her wants and needs, I am offering FREE ORAL SEX to any woman who qualifies that e-mails me or signs up. No matter how good I may have been told that I am at my hobby, I know that everyone needs to constantly practice at anything they take pride in doing. This site is designed with the women of Louisville in mind. I need some partners to practice with and women who will give honest feedback to any services I perform for them, so that I will be able to hone my skills.

Of course, there are some terms and restrictions to this offer. You must be of legal age, clean, disease-free, available, and attractive to him. There is an application you can fill out online. He wants testimonials, but there doesn't seem to be any yet.

(Thanks, Isaac!)

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16 Comments

A wooden face, is what he really is...

He's too lazy to go out searching for sex partners and comes out with this brilliant idea of giving out free oral sex for the interested girls... come on...

Though it's a good idea, I don't think he'll have a line of women waiting for his goodies. In the other hand, if a girl starts a website with the same content, that would be an instantaneous success on the webs. She would need to buy more bandwidth everyday due to the traffic generated by the guys filling in forms of application and testimonials.

said Leonardo Carvalho on January 7, 2009 10:22 AM.

Yes, this should work.

Everybody knows that attractive young women are the most likely to have trouble finding wannabe goths to give them oral. I like this plan.

Mr. Hansen, can you take this one from here?

said Tim on January 7, 2009 10:49 AM.

Leo, true dat. This guys a moran.

said E on January 7, 2009 12:43 PM.

Nothing says "I'm desperate!" better than his website.
He's not a handsome guy, but in many clubs he could go out with some chick if he knows just what to say.
I guess his problem is that he just doesn't know what do do/say or how to act when trying to make out... Lame... He is a natural born joke.


said Leonardo Carvalho on January 7, 2009 1:25 PM.

As a female, this is exactly what I'm going to do when I'm feeling horny and want some oral...especially from a self-proclaimed magenta-haired Vampire Lord with the Burning Sigil of Baphomet tattooed on his chest. Nothing would get me more turned on than that. Satanism totally gets me in the mood... whatta joke.

Oh and here is the guestbook:

http://geocities.yahoo.com/gb/view?member=pomlias_asmodeus

said sweet88 on January 7, 2009 2:46 PM.

Folks he's also available for Math Tutoring - college level

Wonder if he can multi-task?

said Baierman on January 7, 2009 2:55 PM.

Whois info gives his address and phone number. Ladies why go through the long application process? Just show up now:

http://www.whois.net/whois_new.cgi?d=louisvillefreeface&tld=com

said HemlockEcho on January 7, 2009 4:38 PM.

Come on people, supply equals demand. No matter what an idiot this dude is and how inept he might be with women this city must have a couple hundred thousand women and out of those some will want his services. That they wont be anywhere near the cream of the crop, now that's another matter....

said etantao on January 7, 2009 4:51 PM.

He might have better luck if Duracell and Energizer both go on strike for months at a time....

said sarcastic one on January 7, 2009 7:32 PM.

Sounds like you really know how to protect your interests there, Sarcky ... stocking both brands in case one goes off-market for months at a time, eh?

said Tim on January 7, 2009 10:06 PM.

sure beats getting desperate enough to answer his ad!!!

different vintages, like stocking a wine cellar...

said sarcastic one on January 7, 2009 11:28 PM.

You don't have to tell me about vintages. I possess a family hierloom.

said Tim on January 8, 2009 12:11 AM.

Some people say romance is dead. They may be right.

said E on January 8, 2009 12:17 AM.

I don't expect anyone to believe this but I advertised a similar service and I actually got a few responses from remarkably attractive, cool women. And, lest it be unclear, yes, these responses culminated in sex of various kinds. At the very least, I always kept up my end of the advertised deal. ;) I should say that my ad, posted on craigslist in los angeles, did have a certain particular fantasy element to it (which I'm keeping out of this post, sorry) which probably added to the success, but still, the point is that I actually got results. I was as skeptical as anyone, but I figured it was worth the time and effort to place an ad. And indeed, it was.

said free licker on January 8, 2009 4:07 AM.

Hello to all ! Great site. I am new here greetings to all from Poland.

said cheapcarsauctions on April 7, 2009 7:20 PM.

Welcome then... Take a tour here and on the forum, register, stay and try the bacon!

said Leonardo Carvalho on April 7, 2009 7:30 PM.
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