Every school in the region is out today for some reason. There's no snow. Maybe they are taking a mental health day, which is strange since they will be out Monday anyway. Maybe they are afraid the buses won't start in this cold. I should say, every school in the region is out except St. Cummerbund, which my children attend. Despite a new battery, new alternator, and new belts, my car refuses to hold a charge, so I had it on the trickle charger overnight.
This morning, the temperature outside was 2 degrees below zero. That's about -18 in Canadian dollars. I put my gloves on and went to start the car. As I was removing the clamps from the battery, there must have been just enough moisture from my breath to wet the fingers of my gloves. They became firmly stuck to the battery terminals. I should have started the car before removing the charger. I pulled, and pulled, and finally my gloves came free, but I heard a strange snapping noise.
The car started OK, and I let it warm while I bundled the kids in heavy coats, hats, gloves, and boots. The car still wasn't warm inside, but it was tolerable for the ride. I deposited the kids, got home, put the charger away, and came inside. Then I pulled my gloves off and found I had no fingers! They stayed inside the gloves!
It wasn't easy, but I managed to get the fingers out of the gloves. They haven't bled, because they are frozen solid. Now I regret taking them out of the gloves, because it would be easier to put them back on if I had just left them. But should I keep them in the freezer until it's time to pick up the kids, or let them thaw?
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Reddit!
Dammit Miss C--you made me laugh so hard that it started a coughing fit..and strange looks from the two gentleman who are working on my house this AM...can't really explain to them.
(and I woke Tim--that monkey either has some serious jet lag, or alex was lying about how impressed she was--marketing queen that she is)
as for what to do with the fingers--this is a challenge for outdoors king Dave--I am sure he has witnessed this...or for Sheriff Pablo, with his military experience...
keep up the good work...and whoever is bringing out your extra creative side these days also deserves some applause....
Damn... -18 in Canadian dollar??? never have been in such coldness.
The most I've been through was -8 celsius (17.6 F) and I had to sleep with all the blankets, table cloths, news papers and hot-water bags I had available at home.
But I swear, I went outside and tried to make a pee-stick, but as it came out hot, there had no time to freeze before I was done.
Glad I haven't had my lunch yet, or I could have thrown-up. I LOL'ed (hello Julian) so hard my stomach is hurting. I was not expecting the fingers part.
Oh dear.
It is v. cold here too and now I am afraid to remove my undershorts in case I have a problem similar to but not exactly the same as the one you described.
Anyway I wonder if your battery's electricity is leaking out somewhere.
Do you see a puddle of electricity on your garage floor?
It could be as simple as an unseen light in your car's trunk stuck in the on position.
I've had piss freeze.
Miss C. I would suggest not thawing frostbit hands if you know they will freeze again. It just causes more damage.
On the Ranch it can get extremely cold. A few weeks ago it was -30 American with a wind chill of -45. Thats -34 and -43 Canadian. Yes, Piss will freeze at that temperature. The secret is in a high drop. When I take a normal standing wizz It wont work because the pee is only exposed to the cold air for a half a foot (15 cm Canadian) before it hits the ground. I have a creek that runs behind my house with a bridge off to the side. I walked over to the bridge and risking frostbite to my beloved member proceeded to urinate. The drop was just enough time for the piss to freeze into slush and lump up on the frozen ice below similiar to a dropped yellow snowcone.
I am happy to report that there was no noticable fostbite or damage to Goliath.
29 below this morning here (Fahrenheit, of course, i.e. the only sensible measurement). With the pending 60 degree warm up on Sunday, it will still be below freezing.
Yes. It was warmer today (a balmy 20 below) in Antarctica. Not a joke.
You are so badass. Typing with no fingers.
Swayze, I prefer a Kelvin measurement.
What is the general area of your frozen hell?
Miss C -
Like you, I was amazed the schools are closed today. In fact, they notified us at 4:00pm yesterday that they would be closed today. I've never heard of schools being closed that far in advance unless there is a pending snowstorm or something. They told us here that they just didn't want the kids to be out waiting for the bus in -5 degrees.
They didn't say anything about how the surprise 4-day weekend would affect parents. I don't know how much more Chutes and Ladders and Kerplunk (not a potty reference) I can take.
Paris, -3° (Celsius) for a few days, it seemed like the whole city was frozen. Everybody was constantly talking about it. And ( have to acknowledge it) I couldn't bear it at all!
I wonder how you can manage such temperatures guys.
Anyway, good luck for your fingers :p
Dear Wyoming Dave,
Here at the Alcova Brewery, we take great pride in the quality and craftmanship of our beers. Since you are a local resident, I'm sure you have sampled some of our fine offerings.
Recently, we have noticed a change in the pH balance of the water used for our brewing processes. Alcova Brewing, in conjunction with the Natrona County Department of Parks and Recreation, sources water from local streams and river tributaries. Since our water source has been so constant over the years, we are puzzled as to how such a change in water quality might have occurred in such as short period of time.
In an attempt to isolate the reason for rising beer sales under the guise of showing concern for the local environment, we set out to determine what is causing this sudden change in water quality. To that end, we have been running water source tests, talking to local ranchers and monitoring all local news sources and Internet feeds.
Your post here earlier today is very enlightening.
We will be in touch.
Sincerely,
Al Jihad-Meier,
Alcova Brewery,
Alcova, Wyoming
wimps and pussies ! ... I've done time in the canadian north and -40 C was a spring day in january up there .. bundles and layers and recognizing each other by the color and shape of one's hat .. not to mention the perpetual darkness and the northern lights .. cars are left running all day and taps are on a constant drip so as not to freeze the pipes .. y'all have no starch !
did I mention it's a balmy 40 F here in casper today ? .. reaching into the 50's tomorrow ...
miss c .. you've got a draw on your battery somewhere .. get a garage to put a tester on it and if it's drawing 14 amps or better then you've got a sneak draw somewhere .. do you plug anything in like a cell phone or a gps ?
I used to have to walk in -20 weather with a 20+ wind chill for school.
The ground was covered with a few feet of snow, most days it was flurring so you could barely see a few feet in front of you.
Course it was in college, I was drunk and thankfully the hot tub was only a few yards from the house.
Baier, did you go to SUNY Buffalo, or what?
Alex,
I was thinking the same thing. It's cold, but not really unbearable. You really don't have any problems until the wind starts blowing. Then things get interesting.
I was in Chicago the day it hit -81 degrees (wind chill). I went outside just to experience it. I was out for maybe 5 minutes. It hurt to breathe for about 20 minutes afterward. I never really warmed up until I took a hot shower.
I can't imagine what it would be like to experience that in Canada regularly.
Weather props to the hosers!
*looks at dave* .. yer in the shit now pal !
actually it sounds like they want him to continue, or even increase his output...
Hey, wait a tick! I drank from that stream while I was at Alex's place.
Perhaps that explains why I am so tired all the time?
tim ... and it's not really cold enough to keep the kids home ... ya gotta wonder if this teacher's union thing is about 4 day weekends and all the perks that come with summers off and 3 week christmas breaks ... the alarming thing about it all is the question of what our children will take away from this .. quitting is okay when it gets tough ? .. fear your environment ? .. imposing on others time and time off is fine as long as it suits your needs ? .. when was the last time a grade 3 class went out in the rain to experience the pure bliss of a rain dance ? .. I remember being outside in the winter with my cheeks stinging and having the time of my life going down a tobaggan run .. or skating on the canal in ottawa late at night with friends ... watching my breath freeze and then tucking my nose under my scarf ... this isn't a safety issue .. it is pandering to current "I am a god" mentality of the spoiled ... kerplunk !
no tim .. that is not the explanation as to why you are so tired after visiting me ... silly boy !
he just didn't want to admit that he couldn't keep up with you...
and while his parts live up to your raving, the energy level is not what I would like right now...
we'll blame it on the cold...or chill...it's not in the negatives here...
Well with all the drugs you gave me, I don't know how I could be expected to remember anything!
That's cool ... I'm in detox here at Sarcky's and I think that I am seeing things clearly for the very first time.
Dave would feel bad if his location had really been breached and is happily not a local resident of Casper or her neighbor to the south Alchova, though his love for wind is strong, it is not that strong. Admittedly, he has pissed directly into Alchova and will again if the opportunity arises.
The River El Dave flows to the north and will never reach the Platt.
If the Alchova Brewing company was lucky enough to have his urine grace its brew on a regular basis it would be evident by a sudden spike in testoterone levels.
Thank you.
Dave's Secretary.
*grinning at the alcova brewing company post* .. that was truly clever .. who ever it was ..
I was amazed when I found that dave was near my end of the world ... it's wyoming .. there is no one here ! .. and now the post from al jihad-meier .. I feel like I've joined civilization again ..
Oh man, I'm laughing my ass off over here!
I have a feeling that this Jihad is a close associate of Alex.
IF NOT ALEX!
nope--it has caps and no ".. "that she's famous for (my signature is my ..., her's is ..)
but Tim...now there's a possibility.
well traveled (see the stickers on the trunk) and laughing....
hmmm...
Thank God they don't sell Alcova beer around here. Nothing personal Dave, but I've drank some local brands here that they taste like old ladies piss by themselves, I wouldn't like to try it again. ((it's just a guess, I've never drank real piss))
-----------------
Dear Dave,
Since we have had some problems before with the term Secretary--some of our **Office Assistants** feel belittled by the term, we'd like you to be care on what your official memos, we don't want to face a court for that matter.
Those ones are already being relocated to other functions like janitor's helper and toilet unclogger since we don't accept sissies in UNNA Offices and Head Quarters.
Your personal assistant has sent me a mail notifying me about an official memo from your office - that she haven't written - where she's been qualified as secretary.
She'll be relocated right away--you can chose her new occupation--and another one, will be sent to your office. I've heard that that girl who won the Sloggi contest is available. I can send her if you want.
Yours,
Leonardo Carvalho
UNNA HR & Thugs Contractor
I have an appointment at the garage, but they can't get my car in til Monday. Whatever it is, I'm sure it will be expensive.
Always is...
And they'll tell you about the wingnutarical fail, that caused a crank in the valvularic system, which was responsible to alternate the currency in your paravoltaic aeletrosthatic burnout chamber to send the reversing electricity to the battery.
That's why your battery can't hold the charge and you'll be charged in at least three digits for this superbly amount of information and a new battery.
Jeebus, I take my kids to lunch and come back a Jihadist.
Be cool Tim. I know you're clear.
My staff is working on this message. Any time this evening someone will hear a knock-knock on the front door.
And it's no Santa asking if Rudolph was seen wandering around... Hell no.
Leo,
The paravoltaic aeletrosthatic burnout chamber cannot be causing the problem, as it was not available in the 2001 Lamborghini Diablo GT model. It was a design flaw contained to the 2001 Lamborghini Diablo VT version.
I think your diagnosis may be spot on, but the paravoltaic aeletrosthatic burnout chamber was replaced with a bionomatic oxygen nioxide generator (BONG) in the design of the 2001 Lamborghini Diablo GT.
Hope this helps!
Tim, Miss C drives a 2002 model, not 2001--pay attention
Forget about the United States of Tara--this post is the United States of YBNBY...
(sorry--for those of you not in the US, there's a new Showtime television show called the United States of Tara, written by Diablo Cody of Juno fame; it's about a woman with multiple personalites)
okay--so it wasn't worth having to explain....
sorry...
*sits self in corner for punishment*
I'm sure our Jihadist isn't Tim, I think he is quite aware of my location and wouldn't have made the mistake of saying that I live in Casper.
Or make the mistake of disclosing my location.
Sarcky,
They stopped making the Lamborghini Diablo GT model in 2001.
Thanks for playing!
Sincerely,
Marisa Tomei
That's what they told you...
Miss C is special--she has some key info on certain 'family' members, if you get my drift, from her radio days...
so they made one just for her.
(sits and realizes that My Cousin Vinny was being quoted...duh...knew it was time to rewatch that movie)
I had know Miss C. was driving a 2002 VGT.
By the way, no one can identify the actual model of her Lamborghini after all the pimping she has done on it:
- non-stop rolling golden rims,
- llama wool seats,
- furry dice on rearview mirror,
- Vader-mouth Bumpers,
- Fishtail rearwings,
- 25 18" plasma TVs with a DVD Player on each,
- 10 PS3,
- 10 Nintedos Wii,
- 5 Xboxes,
- her car's door opens with the same sound as the Millenium Falcon doors,
- motor sounds like the Enterprise.
Guess her personal mechanic, Mr. X-Zibit, is glad of his well done work. But all these pimpings are draining the battery charge.
By the way, Tim. I have found lots of Hydrogen Dioxide on the water compartment.
Dave,
No. I would not make that mistake. I've grown rather fond of myself over the years. My wife is starting to warm to me as well.
Your good buddy,
Tim
Leo, they had to do that...the car is in the Witness Protection Program...
it looks like a Honda Accord as it rolls down the road--it becomes the Lamborghini when she pulls it into the garage...
but she, her kids, and her man know the truth.
Tim, please leave self love out of the conversation.
Oh, man ... if you only knew how often I hear THAT!
Outside looks like a Honda Accord, interior as bis as a presidential suite on Waldorf Astoria (more luxury though) , but the real car is a Lamboghini.
Mr X-Zibit... my hat's off. You rule.
Well, Leonardo is right about the fuzzy dice...
Current temperature in Seattle: 38 degrees and sunny. I think I'll go outside and enjoy the sound of spit that's still liquid when it hits the ground.
But I hope you don't have a huge problem with your car, when you take it to the garage...