YesButNoButYes: Caption This...

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{ January 16, 2009 }

Caption This...

Posted by Baierman

59 Comments

Prize for the best caption? A box of candy cigarettes.

The candy cigs are the white sugar sticks with the red dye on the end.

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Our complete archive of Caption Competitions.

59 Comments

"I said 'Smoke em if you got em,' but I didn't mean all at once."

said E on January 16, 2009 1:14 PM.

Smoking usually leads to a slow death, but when you drunkenly proposed to Claire Bachman and she accepts, you tend to want to speed up the process a bit...

said sarcastic one on January 16, 2009 1:23 PM.

I see that *someone* was inspired by Baierman's January 6th post!!!!

said sarcastic one on January 16, 2009 1:24 PM.

In Mother Russia, cigarettes smoke you.

said Tim on January 16, 2009 1:26 PM.

... and in other news, Jon Stewart paid up on his bet with the Winston-Salem Gloryhole society earlier today.

said Tim on January 16, 2009 1:31 PM.

Sex with Miss C. was that good.

said Dave on January 16, 2009 1:34 PM.

"Salem softness freshens your taste"

said BILL on January 16, 2009 1:37 PM.

I can’t stand this sarcastic witch any longer. I said until death do us part, so come on death!

said Jonniewalker on January 16, 2009 1:37 PM.

Good one Dave.

said E on January 16, 2009 1:39 PM.

Marboro introduces it's latest brand in an attempt to reach out towards thes more "xtreme sports" participants called "Instant Death".

said JediJeff on January 16, 2009 1:59 PM.

You've come a long way baby.

said E on January 16, 2009 2:01 PM.

Cancer: an example of when instant gratification is a bad thing

said Vicky on January 16, 2009 2:07 PM.

Baierman's diet was getting way out of control with the anorexics...

said Leonardo Carvalho on January 16, 2009 2:12 PM.

Gold on Claire Bachman, Sarcky!

said Leonardo Carvalho on January 16, 2009 2:14 PM.

"My secret for long life?

...

Got a torch?"

said SalMoIlla on January 16, 2009 2:15 PM.

Hey... Puff, Puff, Pass beeotch!

said LostInDaJungle on January 16, 2009 2:15 PM.

...but is he single?

said SalMoIlla on January 16, 2009 2:15 PM.

Hicksville Cigar Russian Roulette.

One of those cigs is pure TNT

said Leonardo Carvalho on January 16, 2009 2:16 PM.

That's gold, BILL. Gold!

said Tim on January 16, 2009 2:17 PM.

I'll smoke the last one and I'll quit.

said Leonardo Carvalho on January 16, 2009 2:19 PM.

"Just one more smoke, then I'll quit."

said SalMoIlla on January 16, 2009 2:23 PM.

This guy is Joe Cameltoe warming up minutes before he scored the world record for puffing the world's bigger smoke ring.

said Leonardo Carvalho on January 16, 2009 2:23 PM.

And the Darwin Award goes to...

said Leonardo Carvalho on January 16, 2009 2:25 PM.

"I prefer smoking 400 lights to 200 reds, but I lost the other holder.

said SalMoIlla on January 16, 2009 2:44 PM.

Ms America 1954's talent has aged her to masculinity, but her lungs are still 10s.

said SalMoIlla on January 16, 2009 3:06 PM.

The morning after Walter picked up the newspaper and it read:
"Walter Davis Sucked off over 1000 fags!"
That the last time Walter ever set a record in England.

said Dave on January 16, 2009 3:14 PM.

Steven always caved to peer pressure.
Always.

said Dave on January 16, 2009 3:15 PM.

Today Samuel finally earned some respect without having to fight.

said Dave on January 16, 2009 3:17 PM.

Corey Felman: Wanking it like it was his legacy.

said Dave on January 16, 2009 3:21 PM.

Dave, I doff my cap to you, sir!

said Tim on January 16, 2009 3:22 PM.

No matter what he did, Chad would always be an asshole.

said Dave on January 16, 2009 3:22 PM.

It was a great stunt, unfortunately Bill Davis never got a boner again.

said Dave on January 16, 2009 3:26 PM.

Thanks for the doff pal.

said Dave on January 16, 2009 3:26 PM.

Roach clip, my #@$%$#, more like elephant #$@%$%$@.

said mekon12 on January 16, 2009 3:30 PM.

Though he never quite lived up to the Knievel name, Wendell Knievel, Evel's nephew was quite popular in Argentina.

said Dave on January 16, 2009 3:31 PM.

Bobby Brown's birthday parties are over rated.

said Dave on January 16, 2009 3:35 PM.

I can't top the Walter Davis caption ... I defer all my remaining entries to Dave.

Sincerely,

Candy Worthy

said Tim on January 16, 2009 3:36 PM.

From the back someone yelled: "HEY WALTER, TELL ME HOW MY ASS TASTES!"

It totally ruined that Marlboro moment.

said Dave on January 16, 2009 3:39 PM.

I swear I'm going to quit tomorrow!

said Bigus Dickus on January 16, 2009 4:02 PM.

"I'll smoke one for every caption Dave gives."

said SalMoIlla on January 16, 2009 4:07 PM.

I think I sat next to this guy in the bar the other night.

said jlbaily on January 16, 2009 4:45 PM.

Holy cow!! To buy all those cigarettes in New York would cost a small fortune!!

said Will on January 16, 2009 5:02 PM.

This won't be the last time that we see Julian Meteor on his knees with something hard, round, and smells like an ash tray in his mouth

said Dave on January 16, 2009 6:50 PM.

Being in flavor country wasn't enough for him. He wanted full membership to the UN.

said Your Mom's New Boyfriend on January 17, 2009 3:04 PM.

Will--the dude is from new hampshire ;)

said SalMoIlla on January 17, 2009 3:49 PM.

15 year old Haj Mullad breaks the world record for smoking cigarettes.
He doesn't look a day over 14.

said Baierman on January 17, 2009 7:18 PM.

146 cigarettes.
lit by 2 mega joints.

Now that my kinda party!

said Baierman on January 17, 2009 7:19 PM.

FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!

said Leonardo Carvalho on January 17, 2009 9:55 PM.

Dave's lack of friends and abnormally small genitals were never compensated by the countless hours he spent leaving inane comments on the world wide web.
Soon his cries for help became increasingly bizarre and self-destructive.

said Chad on January 19, 2009 1:35 AM.

Dave’s two year stint working as the “el chupador” at various donkey shows in Tijuana did little to prepare him for his next pursuit.

said Chad on January 19, 2009 2:07 AM.

Soon Dave embraced his approach to Doritos as his life model for everything.

“Why just eat one when I can sit at home naked in front of my mom’s computer and eat the whole bag?”

said Chad on January 19, 2009 2:17 AM.

The onlookers were even more impressed when Dave extinguished his novel smoking contraption on a single boil protruding from his girlfriend’s ass.

said Chad on January 19, 2009 2:21 AM.

Chad was flattered and mildly amused by Dave’s trailer park courtship ritual and appreciated the fact that he was born in a Laundry mat. Unfortunately pity was not enough to turn Chad’s orientation and he politely suggested that, “maybe it would be best if you just continued to call me a douchebag” Chad thought perhaps Dave could maintain at least a sliver of dignity that way.

said Chad on January 19, 2009 2:23 AM.

After learning some basic physics and taking some crude fist measurements, Dave finally realized his prior failures in blowing anal smoke rings. Need more smoke.

said Chad on January 19, 2009 2:24 AM.

"Smoking in the boys room" was always Dave's favorite past time.
Unfortunately there were never enough smokes and NEVER enough boys.

said Chad on January 19, 2009 2:35 AM.

After years of rejection and being laughed at Dave decided to take matters into his own hands.
Being raised Catholic made Dave's final solution less simple however.
He had to die of "natural causes"

said Chad on January 19, 2009 2:46 AM.

The mawaikita tribe were dead pleased they were bringing their humble blowpipes into the modern age with a tommy gun version that can even shoot flaming darts!

said mart on January 20, 2009 8:24 AM.

And the winner by a knockout is Dave.
The Walter Davis comment was damn funny.

Runner up is also Dave for The "How does my ass taste" comment.

Well done sir.
You're funny when you want to be.

said Baierman on January 22, 2009 5:56 PM.

Backsliding Smokenders member makes up for lost time!

said G on February 5, 2009 1:40 AM.

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