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5 rejected plot lines for Season 7 of "24"

jack-bauer.jpg

Season 7 of 24 has just begun. But it was 2 years in the making.

During the extensive time off between Season 6 and this new season, the producers of 24 explored numerous plot ideas and directions to inject some life into this once-exciting formula.

Late last year, they asked fans of the show to pitch a few of ideas.
None of mine were chosen, so I think it's safe to reveal them to you today.

24: Bahamas Cruise
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Finding time off from all his adventuring and saving the free world, Jack takes a one day Carnival Cruise to the Bahamas. Some episodes would take place in exotic ports of call like Grand Bahamas, Harbor Island, Nassau and of course, Crooked Island.
After a brief rest period on deck the ship runs out of liquor, Buffalo wings and experiences engine trouble. Jack joins with the crew to keep the party going and the overweight guests fed.
But will he stop a mutiny?
This season would feature Jack's daughter Kim as a surprise guest / go-go dancer at a club in Nassau. We'd devote at least 20 minutes to Kim dancing half-naked. (Hey, Elisha Cuthbert in a bikini is a sure ratings triumph.)
Kim-Bauer-rules.jpg
After uniting the passengers and building a giant sail, the ship would be be attacked by 17th century pirates, of course, who arrive through a rift in time in a ship called the Black Pearl.
Upon seeing the ship off the port bow, Jack would whisper, dead pan: "Rrrr!"


24: Anime
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Season 7 would be written as it is now, (except Tony, Jack, Cloe & Bill Buchanan would have long hair) just produced using the top animators of today. Characters would be used as voice-overs only.
Season 7 would begin with the animated Jack Bauer imprisoned in a lower-level vault at CTU. As the building explodes, a mysterious sword with magic powers saves him. He spends the next hours using the sword and his new superpowers to find the people who tried to kill him.
Because this season is using animation, explicit sex and violence is allowed. We see Jack exploring the backside of captured female terrorist, as well as blood squirting from decapitated heads.


24: 24/7/365
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This was more of a new concept as opposed to a radically different plot line. Normally a season of 24 follows the day in the life, over 24 episodes.
24: 24/7/365 would feature a day an episode and run in fast forward.
Each episode would cover 1 day, run commercial free and zip past on fast forward so fans of the show would really have to pay attention to what happens. Most episodes Jack would solve a disaster. But since this concept would take place over the course of a year, (hence: 365) some episodes would feature him sleeping, eating lunch and charging his cell phone.
I think this idea was ultimately nixed due to budgetary constraints and fear of causing elliptic seizures.


24: Vegas Vacation
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A season with a more comedic focus. Jack Bauer and his former CTU friends Cloe, Bill, daughter Kim and a returning, alive agent Curtis, head off for Las Vegas, as a reward from the USA for a job well done. In the city of fortune, Bauer & friends are once again tested by forces of nature: Cloe finds herself tempted by Wayne Newton, Curtis manages to lose all the money the government has given them, Kim, not being 21 years of age yet, hits a lucky streak at Keno and Jack teams up with President Palmer's daughter Nicole to dance at very interesting night clubs. Also, the group nearly causes the breaking of Hoover Dam, Jack meets some of Siegfried and Roy's white tigers up close and President Palmer, who now owns some land right out of Las Vegas, gladly offers his helping hand.

But the feeling of love and family will bring them all back together again, be it richer or poorer than before? Stay tuned for the wackiness!


24: Coma
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Jack's enemies inject him with a mysterious serum and he lies helpless in a coma. He can only blink his eyes and must use his mind to unravel a liberal plot to blackmail the US Supreme Court and overturn the 2nd amendment.
Meanwhile, Jack must trust a team of brilliant but young doctors to help save him and the country. This team of experts, led by Doctor Gregory House (a doctor devoid of bedside manner and dealing with his own constant physical pain and history of addiction.) While his behavior can border on antisocial, House is a brilliant diagnostician whose unconventional thinking and flawless instincts afford him a great deal of respect.
But will Jack get through to House before it's too late?

(I seriously think they considered this concept. Although it was solely concocted to boost the ratings of HOUSE, FOX has moved HOUSE to the time slot ahead of 24.)


While I'm disappointed they didn't pick my ideas, I'm certainly looking forward to another exciting, yet expected, season of Jack Bauer.

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1 Comment

dumb.

said monkeyboy on January 14, 2009 9:01 AM.
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