Times are hard. Or maybe this is a case of gettin' some while the gettin's good.

Another major American industry is asking for assistance as the global financial crisis continues: Hustler publisher Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis said Wednesday they will request that Congress allocate $5 billion for a bailout of the adult entertainment industry.

You can write as many double entendres on this as you like, but I doubt you'll exceed the density of them in this post. If you've got something to add, leave it in the comments.

In our attempts to place a distant 5th or 6th in the Weblogs Best Humor blog contest, I've compiled a list of some of my personal favorite (and hopefully slightly funny) self-written posts to spur on the voting. In addition, I thought I'd give you some background on why/how the posts were written - sort of a director's commentary only I'm not talented and was mostly drunk when I wrote these.

Then see what happens when we light them one by one.

This guy is my new hero.

Sometimes Ann Coulter says really stupid things. (Mostly to sell books.) Other times, she flat out fails. Such is the case in the above video when debating with Al Franken.

As of this writing, I have 272 friends on Facebook, I was quite happy with this number considering the average number of friends a user has on Facebook is 132. (According to this 2007 report) But my number was called into question when a "friend" boastfully showed off her 400+ friends. And because I hate having anything of mine called into question, whether it be my likability or how many people want to display a picture of me on their personal page, I decided to give the Facebook friends number some serious thought and came up with several scenarios.

Things are terrible over in the Gaza Strip these days. But if you're wondering why the damage and destruction isn't worse, thank this nice lady.
She is single-handily holding down the South-Eastern border.

Weblog Awards Update
As of now YesbutNobutYes is holding tight to 8th place in the race for Best Humor Blog.

While we had hoped for a top 5, we've revised out estimate now and are hoping to eek out a 6th or 7th place. It's a lofty goal but one that just might be attainable.

Keep the faith, faithless readers. There's still time and we'll start pulling out our crude articles, rubber chickens, knock-knock jokes and kicks to the groin videos shortly.

And please vote now, early, often and on as many computers as you can log on to.

Also don't forget to vote for Miss Cellania. She has a real shot at 2nd place!

The Japanese trailer for Watchmen has lots of new footage, and once again, it feels like I'm watching Dave Gibbon's panels faithfully come to life. Having reread both the graphic novel and Dave Gibbon's new retrospective over the holiday, I am SO jonesing for this movie, it's hard to contain myself.
If the Fox lawsuit screws this up, YBNBY will officially boycott promoting any Fox properties for the rest of 2009, unless it's to ridicule them (which may not be hard).

George Kistner is offering free oral sex to women in the Louisville area. All you have to do is sign up.

To all of the beautiful, single women in and around Louisville:

This page is for you. I am a man whose favorite thing to do is give oral sex to attractive young women. I love it and enjoy pleasing the women that I know and meet. I know that every woman is different, and I have been out of practice for a while. Since every woman is different in her wants and needs, I am offering FREE ORAL SEX to any woman who qualifies that e-mails me or signs up. No matter how good I may have been told that I am at my hobby, I know that everyone needs to constantly practice at anything they take pride in doing. This site is designed with the women of Louisville in mind. I need some partners to practice with and women who will give honest feedback to any services I perform for them, so that I will be able to hone my skills.

Of course, there are some terms and restrictions to this offer. You must be of legal age, clean, disease-free, available, and attractive to him. There is an application you can fill out online. He wants testimonials, but there doesn't seem to be any yet.

(Thanks, Isaac!)

Yup, a dude.

It's just too funny. What great short.

We have to remember this one for top Viral Videos of 2009.