Last night in Kistsap County, WA, a man and got into an argument with his mate.
Tensions rose.
Angry words were spoken.
Some pushing and shoving occurred.
And she stabbed him.

(Yes, of course they'd been drinking.)

In response he did what no other drunken person to my knowledge has ever done to save his or her life...the man sat his attacker.

This ingenious stinkface maneuver subdued the woman and stopped her from escaping.
Meanwhile neighbors called the police.

When the cops arrived, they found the woman with a face full of gluteus.
She may have been gasping for air from his weight or his farts.

Ah humanity, it never gets old.