ornate line
130,000 Misplaced Boobs


The Australian men's magazine Ralph planned a promotion with their January issue: they were going to insert inflatable breasts as a gift. That's not likely to happen now, because the shipment of 130,000 boobs was lost at sea. Literally lost, since no one seems to know what happened. They were there when the ship left Beijing, but not when it arrived in Sydney. Some tiny island along the way might have a beach just waiting for a party, or pirates might be sleeping on them. Any guilty parties should step forward quickly, since Ralph's parent company is already in debt to the tune of $4 billion dollars, and they really can't afford to eat the $200,000 these boobs cost. You can leave your confession in the comments.

But wait! This might be some kind of blessing or cosmic karma. What if you were on the high seas in the western Pacific and a storm destroyed your boat? Having thousands of little round life rafts drifting in the ocean would not only be a lifesaver, but also a rather pleasant picture for the news when you are found.

(via Arbroath)

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Awash in a sea of boobies...What a way to go...

said Sheriff Pablo on December 2, 2008 10:22 AM.

Didn't Nena sing a song about this exact apocalyptic disaster?

said Don't Swayze Bro on December 2, 2008 10:58 AM.

I hope the can track the boobs like they're doing with the rubber ducks.


said Baierman on December 2, 2008 12:42 PM.

A hundred thousand misplaced boobs
Went overboard or down the tubes.
Panic bells, it's red alert.
We'd dig around if the sea was dirt.
Instead we're forced to wonder where
The boobs have bounced
Oh! Over there!
No never mind, I was mistaken.
Those were just fans of Clay Aiken.

said Don't Swayze Bro on December 2, 2008 3:36 PM.

You gotta be kidding.

said captain crap on December 3, 2008 7:05 PM.

A magazine in debt $4 billion dollars, surely you mean million. That's got to be a typo.

said Uncle Arnie on December 3, 2008 7:52 PM.

Anything made in china (including 130,00 fake boobs) is probably toxic, dangerous and best if lost at sea.
Perhaps the chinese should have kept 6 or 8 of them for their 11 year old Olympic gymnasts to stuff into their training bras.

said Jeff T in Dallas on December 3, 2008 8:43 PM.

Uncle Arnie, the billion figure is right, but I should've said "the magazine's parent company" is in that much debt.

said Miss Cellania on December 3, 2008 9:06 PM.

I think I have ran in to most of them Christmas Shopping.

said Theresa on December 3, 2008 9:11 PM.

Jeff T, still upset that American girls were beat by a superior team? The Olympic committee investigated and found they were all of age, so time to let it go dude...
With the racist attitude you exude, there's really no need to say you're from Dallas, we would all just assume that anyway!

said droctagon on December 3, 2008 9:46 PM.

I got yer boobs, thought they were for me. Sorry, honest mistake.

said Damian King on December 3, 2008 10:03 PM.

droctagon must be listening to the communist news network CNN because there was one of the girls found to be below the age required. Try listening to real news not made up wishful junk like CNN. China only wins if they cheat.

said Rhonda on December 3, 2008 10:13 PM.

So people from Dallas are racists??? and why are you getting all emotional about the "women's" gymnastics comment anyway droctagon?? get a life.

~Non-racist from Texas

said LMAC on December 3, 2008 11:50 PM.

Hey! Hey! Hey!!!! Forget about the trivial racists from Dallas and women's gymnastics and such, we're talking about lost FAKE BOOBIES!!!! Ohhhh, if they are fake, this means they are not real. Where they ever really there? :0)

said iamsolazy on December 4, 2008 12:06 PM.

Yep, some lost island chimp's b-day party is going to be sooo complete ...

said Only Moi on December 4, 2008 3:08 PM.

We are the Boobies Pirates and have taken your boobies for ransom.

said Abu on December 4, 2008 7:58 PM.

This sounds like a case for the king of fake boobs--Dr Rey!!!

said sarcastic one on December 4, 2008 11:06 PM.

Ummm, I was born and raised in Los Angeles and I can tell you with zero uncertainty, the boobs are here.

said Tyson on December 5, 2008 8:32 PM.
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