Stacy and Clinton from 'What Not to Wear' have found their toughest makeover client yet....

"Mom, do we HAVE to go to grandma's for Thanksgiving? Her hello headlocks really hurt..."

Boys, be more specific when you say your dream girl is a blond with icy blue eyes and a kickass tan who keeps in shape!

Johnny Wright's travel secret is finally revealed!

the most successful transplant yet .. her head on his shoulders

When dating online, it's best to ask for full length photos...

And that's how Sonja became the new spokeslady for Fiber One

You wouldn't like Miss C when she's angry...

The only possible comment can be: "Get the fuck away from me you freak!"

tha bich si mad prolly dave moma
mmm dave mom

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
Who's the buffest of them all?"

Most of the congregation thought that the mother hen brought to the Thanksgiving potluck was quite overdone.

(Welcome back Tim! How was the trip?)

Not bad.

I met a nice older lady; dark hair with blond highlights. Curiously, she wouldn't remove her coat. I kept teasing her about it. She said she would send me a picture of her in her bikini later today.

Hope she's good lookin'!

Can't blame her--it's been chilly around here lately!

You know the bodybuilders convention was in town, right? I had to work so I didn't get tickets, but my neighbor's grandma got to compete...she said something about meeting the cutest talking monkey in a bar--he kept buying her drinks and telling her about his wife.

(tickets to watch the finalists compete...I'm not the ripped like Ah-nold type)

SOMEONE is upset about Google street view invading her privacy....

Melinda gets in shape for 'The Cougar Girls' World Tour later this year.

Or as Today dubbed them the other day, "Sugarmummies"

All I am going to say is that earings like that are a little much for the daytime.

Jessica felt that the sequins on her new top brought a little too much attention to her chest.

Auncle Bert's powerful beauty proves that you can put lipstick on a pitbull and still be a Soccer Mom.

Don't Swayze Bro, that's EXACTLY what I looked like when I found out my kids told grandma what she's getting for Christmas.

There's something peculiar about Governor Schwarzenegger lately........

There's something peculiar about Governor Schwarzenegger lately........

There's something peculiar about Governor Schwarzenegger lately........

jlbaily letting us know that she's once, twice, three times a lady ....

The blow-me-up-do-me Helda doll is made from the finest Corinthian leather.

After too much steroid abuse, Bob developed what the juices call 'Bitch Tits.'

What was that Scara? She, too, is following us on Twitter?

okay, team--time to backtrack--and fast!!!!

From Something About Mary:
Magda - "The last time I had a pap smear, the guy needed leather gloves and an oyster shucker."

C'mon Thomas! It's my turn now!

Oh-oh here she comes
Watch out boy she'll chew you up
Oh-oh here she comes
She's a man eater!

Alright, All joking aside. The more I look at that picture the more I'm sure its a dude aye.
Put a crew cut on it, Get rid of the boobs and the lipstick and you have a man.
I mean, What chick has a jaw line like that?

Uh...all of them: http://tinyurl.com/6p84lr

Proving the old adage, You Are What You Eat, let's all give a hand to Miss Beef Jerky of 2009!