If you're unable to answer affirmatively, then you're in luck! Thanks to the good folks over at www.InSPOT.org, they'll be more than happy to let you know. You see, they're a non-profit organization that sends "e-Greetings" to sex partners of 'the treated', who may have been exposed to an STD. That's pretty cool... in a twisted, sadistic, pay-the-piper sort of way, right? Of course, I know that it's better to find out in an email than it is to never find out at all. I get it. But how does one take news like that?

You're checking your Yahoo account, and come across the following:

[subject header]: "You have an e-greeting from BACKDRAFT_SNATCH_4_U!"

[CC'd recipients]: lickem_low@yahoo.com, bubba@trailorparktramps.com, rufus@chokethatbitch.com, clay@metro-sex-in-the-city.com, bruce@ass-cricket.org, mike@closetdicksuckers.com.

[body]:

Hello Studmuffin,

Our clinic has treated someone that you know! It would be in your best interest to have yourself checked out, to ensure the STD statistics in your community haven't gone up by ONE. Click on the link for more details:

(So, you click the link, praying to God that this is all just the work of an ex-girlfriend who hacked into your email account, or one of those top notch spammers that somehow got your email addy from one of your regular porn sites...but it isn't. ...The page loads.)

[card cover]:
"I'm glad we met.
We had a good time.
I'm not sure how to,
Make all of this rhyme."

[inside the card]
"I seem to have fallen ill.
Like a fish with Ick.
My tongue bumps are bad,
So your dick may be sick.

Please don't be angry.
My intentions are well.
You have a point of contact,
In case your balls swell."

(Awwwww. Isn't that cute?)

Again, I know that notifying your sex partner(s) is the right thing to do, but damn - isn't that a little impersonal? Wouldn't you prefer the doctor's office contact you directly? So why don't they? Because they don't have your phone number...and neither does she. Get this: due to a lot of people meeting and setting up sexual encounters online, most of the diseased only have online contact information for their partners in jeopardy. Statistics are also showing that email messages are the most preferred way for the 'carrier' to notify sex partners that their dick might fall off, rather than in person (somehow that doesn't surprise me). So tell me, how would you all feel about being notified that you had sex with a diseased person via email?