Time out readers.
Lets take five and exhale slowly.
To bridge the divide that's come upon this site today, we need to a uniter not a divider. A seriously soothing voice of change.
I'm talking 'bout the Queen of Hearts.
She'll call you Angel in the morning.
She won't be blinded by the light because loves been a little bit hard on her too.
She's Juice Newton,
and the sweetest thing she's ever known is loving you.
Okay, so maybe we've gotten a little bit political on this site lately.
Even though politics is pop culture (and vice versa) a lot of you come here for the stupid, odd, funny and unconventional.
And so I resurrect Juice Newton.
Because readers, I believe she can lead us through these dark days.
While we may differ on political ideology and sometimes use the comments section to spew venom............ We can certainly unite around a melodic voice, heartfelt songs, and most of the all, the way sappiness makes you want to puke your guts out.
In jest, I ask you to please watch...
Angel
Here Juice looks out a window and sits down with her band to discuss a subject she knows well - a one night stand.
In 3+ minutes, it's you who'll be calling her Angel of the morning. Then, as you slowly turn away, begging her to stay, you can reach for a bucket to hurl in.
Queen of Hearts
This hit has it all. A gambling motif. A deck of cards. Western duds. And jail.
Here Juice plays dress up and rock star in this calamity of exceptional ridiculousness.
Is it me or does Juice look like a poodle from the neck up?
Loves been a little bit hard on me
Ready to laugh?
Then wack your funny bone with a hammer and enjoy Juice and a Tom Selleck lookalike going through the motions of a date gone wrong.
Wait, is that Juice getting a car door slammed on her leg? You betcha!
Break it to me Gently
Oh snap, this slow jam has it all.
A stage. Weird sci-fi split screens. Gentle cross dissolves between band members.
And a perm.
Like I said, she's uniter!
The Sweetest Thing
Here Juice takes a ride around Central Park with a creepy guy and his guitar.
How can you not fall out of love with soft focus, a dude playing drums by a tree and Juice's finely manicured bangs.
Crazy Love
The best for last? Maybe. Cause Cuz, this one's live.
Just Juice.
Her band.
And a stare that's so intense you'll actually think she's going to kill you.
Feeling better now?
Great, so take to the comments and go off on a non-political tangent. If you feel like it.
Oh and if Juice happens to be reading this. I love you. Really I do.
Stumble This
Reddit!
Who's she endorsing? (I kid!)
You got something against Pat Benatar B-man?
So, if I may ...
You guys juice us up with salacious political material, then attempt to calm us down by presenting us with Juice.
Just an observation ...
Speaking of which, I can't tell you how 'juiced' I am for Chops's 80's rock challenge. If I don't own that I'm gonna jump out the window.
Yep. Bring it on.
Pat benatar is too violent considering today's mood. There's been quite enough "Hit me with your best shot" today...
And I can't wait till the 80's rock challenge
How about a '90s rock challenge. Could you tell the difference between Kurt Cobain, Eddie Vedder, Or '90s Chris Cornell if they were pictured in silhouette?
'There are three girls in our school who are cultivating the Pat Benetar look."
E - A classic line. Nice.
Can't help it, I'm on the Juice Tim. Love is no battlefield.
Besides years ago The State did the best parody of Ms. B, so I won't even try.
As for Chop's 90's challenge...Cobain will be the one without a head. The bigger question is could do a 2000 version. What rockers are there? It'll just be a bunch of those one hit wonder "The ...." bands.
It's a sad state this past 8 years of music.
Baier - You know, I always took pride in how well I stayed in touch with current trends in music. No matter the genre, I was at least aware of, and sometimes really enjoyed, the latest artists.
For me, that has changed in the past 6 years or so, just like you stated. It all seems so fake, the messages so forced. I can't get into it anymore. There just doesn't seem to be any real artistry left.
So, I hereby proclaim, I must be getting old.
P.S. That was a hard comment on Cobain. It really blew me away.
On the bright side, AC/DC is coming out with a new album.
Nice, guys. I was thinking the exact same thing. What the will be on the 1998-2005 (or whatever challenge). SoulJah Boy? Fall Out Boy?
Guess you'd have to ask some Junior High kids. Then again, now that they can get anything they want practically, they,.. sob. Radio is dead isn't it?
BTW, You Better Run was the 2nd video played on MTV, what was the first?
Video Killed the Radio Star - The Buggles
and I didn't even have to use The Google for that!
Excellent work Tim!
"All we hear is Radio Ga Ga!
Radio Goo Goo!
Radio Blah Blah!"
you forgot (i shit you not) Radio Disney.
non stop hannah montana.
'scuse me while i go jam shish-kebab skewers in my ears.
you forgot (i shit you not) Radio Disney.
non stop hannah montana.
'scuse me while i go jam shish-kebab skewers in my ears.
Pablo, not familiar. Radio Disney? Do kids listen to the radio now?
Very Funny E, You try having 3 daughters. I Feel like miley cyrus lives in my damn house.
Pablo, I wish I could help you. Perhaps agree to put the iPod or CD player on shuffle so every once and a while you hear something you like.
Offer the kids ice cream or something. Up their allowance a buck. That's all I got.
For others in the same boat, I'd suggest starting with the classics...Motown. My neices and nephews seem to dig Sam Cooke, the Temptations, Smokey and all that stuff. It's all pop music but simpler beats and, while not rock, adults can stomach most of it.
I'm glad we don't have Radio Disney around here... Discovery Kids and Disney Channel are trouble enough to me.
I wonder what kind of trash will replace Hanna Montana, HSMusical and Camp Rock when my daughter hits the pre teen age. Every year the shows are getting worse, so, ten years from now, what will it be?
Disney Channel have done a kids version for Lost. Now for the romantic musicals like the ole Travolta films (as it looks to me when I had to watch HSM)...
What will they clone then? A kids version for Desperate Housewives? Sex in the City?
The way things are going, it would be no surprise to me.
S.P. - I have the same problem here. 3 daughters ... Hannah Montana everywhere. Thankfully, I don't have to deal with Radio Disney, just whatever is on Disney Channel. We limit their TV, so I can usually disappear for that short while.
I have one rule, we only play my music (or Mom's) in the car. This seems to have worked somewhat. My 10 year old is into the Beatles and my 7 year old is into the Beach Boys. Acceptable.