Monkey News!
Reader Josh was kind enough to send us this story. I've never been so happy.
A while back I prattled on about giving the monkeys more responsibility. One of the examples I cited was the ancient Egyptians using monkey waiters in their diners. I floated the idea of starting a monkey cafe. Staffed by simians. Well, looks like the Japanese are members of the Loyal 77. They listened to my council and implemented it lock, stock and bananas.
Two macaque monkeys named Yatchan and Fukuchan are pitching in at the family restaurant. The little devils "serve customers hot towels and drinks, and are given soya beans as tips."
I am considering legal action against the country of Japan as a whole. They obviously ripped this idea off from me. There must be some kind of legal precedent. Ollie the Humanzee vs. The State of Vermont or something. I'm looking into it.
Thanks again to Josh for sending this in. I owe ya one, pally.
Reader Josh was kind enough to send us this story. I've never been so happy.
A while back I prattled on about giving the monkeys more responsibility. One of the examples I cited was the ancient Egyptians using monkey waiters in their diners. I floated the idea of starting a monkey cafe. Staffed by simians. Well, looks like the Japanese are members of the Loyal 77. They listened to my council and implemented it lock, stock and bananas.
Two macaque monkeys named Yatchan and Fukuchan are pitching in at the family restaurant. The little devils "serve customers hot towels and drinks, and are given soya beans as tips."
I am considering legal action against the country of Japan as a whole. They obviously ripped this idea off from me. There must be some kind of legal precedent. Ollie the Humanzee vs. The State of Vermont or something. I'm looking into it.
Thanks again to Josh for sending this in. I owe ya one, pally.
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Two possible outcomes:
1) They get pissed off and start flinging poo at the restaurant patrons.
2) They get pissed off and take over the world, reducing humans to slaves. (Take your stinking paws off my drink, you damn dirty ape!)
So how do you submit links anyway? E-mail to "webmaster?" I also saw this earlier today, didn't want to suggest in the wrong place...I'm just glad that Josh has the hotline number! Now let's pass the hat to get Johnny a ticket to Japan, stat! We'll worry about the return ticket...um...later...?
It's good to see you foucusing your efforts where foucus is needed JW.
By the way, how is that lawsuit going against Dairy Queen? The one where you claim their Hot Dogs aren't really a footlong.
It's pending, PL.
Josh did send the link the the email the webmaster link. I'll be looking for the ticket to Japan to investigate this matter to arrive soon. Maybe we'll set up a Pay Pal account to fund the excursion.
I thank you in advance for your donations.
JW
The great part for the restaurant is that the monkey retirement plans are based solely on the "brain soup" scene in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Obviously, the retiree is not required to serve its own head to the diners. The replacement monkey takes care of that.
I believe that the 'brain soup' scene is actually not part of the retirement plan, but more along the lines of the ob/gyn plan. Turns out the elderly brains just taste, well, old. You gotta eat 'em while they're young.