Being a sports fan is a role I take seriously. It's silly, sure, but I do. I get annoyed (and sometimes offended) at others haphazard habits of being a fan. I don't even like it when people wear a team's hat because "they like the colors." That one makes me nuts.There has been unwritten rules to being a fan for years. An understood code between knowledgeable sports nuts, but they haven't been written down. Well, I'm about to change that. I propose that the following be adopted as the official rules of being a fan. The Sports Bigamy Manifesto. I honestly feel that I am just the nut to do this. Who else would take this seriously?
These rules are basically like the Constitution of the United States. While the tenets are obviously inspired and well thought out, they are subject to change and/or amendment.
1. The teams you loved as a child are your teams for life. You cannot jump allegiance due to wins and losses. The guys ten years ago whose favorite teams were the Chicago Bulls, the Dallas Cowboys and the New York Yankees, those better still be your teams. If you have jumped to the San Antonio Spurs, New England Patriots and the Boston Red Sox, I think you should have your toenails pulled out by a pair of rusty pliers. If you have grown up in an area that does not have major sports teams, you can adopt a favorite club. However, if you are a Montana native and decided that you are a Lakers fan, you better still be a Lakers fan. The teams you chose as a child, you are stuck with them forever.
2. You cannot wear a team's hat or jersey because you like the colors. Absolutely not. If you do wear another team's jersey, it must be a "throwback" jersey of a player who is no longer active. For example; me wearing a New York Knicks Earl "The Pearl" Monroe jersey would be okay. Me wearing a New York Knicks Nate Robinson jersey, no dice. Even though Nate played at the University of Washington. Larry Bird, Bob Cousy and Ted Williams jerseys are legal. But unless you are from Boston, Tom Brady, David Ortiz and Paul Pierce are not. The hip-hop community is a major violator of this rule. Who's your favorite team there Snoop Dog?
3. If your team is eliminated in the playoffs (or they stink so bad they weren't even invited to the party), you can pull for another team to win. However, you may not purchase the others team's gear and you may not, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE refer to another club as "we" or "us." It is far more acceptable to root against a team than root for a team that is not yours.
4. It is in bounds to refer to your teams as "us" or "we." Fans do matter. Ask any professional athlete and they'll tell you the same thing. It's ain't called "home field advantage" for nothing. The idea of team extends beyond the lines of the playing field.
5. In an established rivalry, you cannot like both teams. You may not root for Duke and North Carolina, the Yankees and the Red Sox, Michigan and Ohio State, USC and Notre Dame. You just cannot. You must prefer one and hope the other loses every game in a blowout. Yeah, I'm looking at you members of the NFC West that are not named the Seahawks.
6. It is in bounds to criticize or question your team's management, coaching strategy or player performances. It shows you are knowledgeable and that you care. When you have a coach that has lost control of the club or is incompetent, it is your duty to question the team's direction.
7. You may not be a fair-weather fan. While you may not be as engaged when your team stinks and isn't winning, you still must hang in there with them when they are struggling. Los Angeles fans are the absolute worst when it comes to this rule. When the Dodgers are losing, nobody will even admit to following them. But if they're winning, you see two flags flying from every car. It's ridiculous. Clippers fans are even worse. There are also those who flip back and forth between USC and UCLA depending on who is more trendy at the moment. And people wonder why the second largest city in America doesn't have an NFL team.
8. You may not leave a ball game early to "beat the traffic" unless the game is an absolute blowout. Your team must be down 7 runs in baseball, 25 points in basketball and 3 touchdowns in football. Beating traffic is never important to a true fan.
9. If a player from your team leaves town, these are the rules:
A. If he is traded, and seemed to not want to leave, you may still pull for him to play well unless he is playing against your team. For me, Gary Payton was a good example of this. I still love The Glove.
B. If the player signs as a free agent for more money, you hate him. Especially if that player has gone on the record as saying that his new contract will not be based on money but winning. There is a reason that Washingtonians hate Alex Rodriguez. There is a reason there are signs in the crowd reading "Pay-Rod" and people showering the field with phony money when Pay-Rod is up to bat in Safeco Field. I hate him for damn good reason. I stood in the Mariner locker room as an intern for KOMO 4 holding the microphone and listened to Alex repeat his "This will not be a money decision" bollocks. I wish him a severe case of jock itch.
C. If the player signs with a RIVAL team for more money, you can hope his career is ended by a tragic groin pull. See Johnny Damon for this one.
10. The team itself matters more than the roster. With the continuing activity on the police blotter these days, this rule is important. You can give up on individual players, but not the team itself. We gave up on Shawn Kemp when he couldn't keep the cheeseburgers out of his mouth, the booger sugar out his nose, and the seed in his testicles.
Violation of these rules should be a punishable offense. Maybe we could have a committee to decide to the severity of each violation. I would be Chairman of the Board of course.
Punishments could go something like this:
Minor Offense - No Sportscenter for three months.
Medium Offense - No cable/dish for one year.
Major Offense - One year in a minimum-security prison facility. While there you would be forced to watch tapes of WNBA games every day. The Supreme Court may rule that as cruel and unusual punishment however.
Years ago, right before I moved to New York, I sat down with my 93 year old grandmother to tell her I really was leaving Seattle. Keep in mind that I was scheduled to move to New York the week of the 9/11 attacks. My move was delayed a few weeks and my Grandmother thought I may not go. So, with the country racked with fear and New York having just survived the worst terrorist attack on U.S. soil in our history, my Grandma only had one question. She looked me right in the eye and asked "Honey, you're not going to become a Yankees fan are you?" No Grandma, I am not. Hand to heaven I am not going to become a Yankees fan.
Now that, my friends, was a sports fan.
Selah.
Johnny Wright
Chairman of the Board
1. The teams you loved as a child are your teams for life. You cannot jump allegiance due to wins and losses. The guys ten years ago whose favorite teams were the Chicago Bulls, the Dallas Cowboys and the New York Yankees, those better still be your teams. If you have jumped to the San Antonio Spurs, New England Patriots and the Boston Red Sox, I think you should have your toenails pulled out by a pair of rusty pliers. If you have grown up in an area that does not have major sports teams, you can adopt a favorite club. However, if you are a Montana native and decided that you are a Lakers fan, you better still be a Lakers fan. The teams you chose as a child, you are stuck with them forever. 2. You cannot wear a team's hat or jersey because you like the colors. Absolutely not. If you do wear another team's jersey, it must be a "throwback" jersey of a player who is no longer active. For example; me wearing a New York Knicks Earl "The Pearl" Monroe jersey would be okay. Me wearing a New York Knicks Nate Robinson jersey, no dice. Even though Nate played at the University of Washington. Larry Bird, Bob Cousy and Ted Williams jerseys are legal. But unless you are from Boston, Tom Brady, David Ortiz and Paul Pierce are not. The hip-hop community is a major violator of this rule. Who's your favorite team there Snoop Dog?
3. If your team is eliminated in the playoffs (or they stink so bad they weren't even invited to the party), you can pull for another team to win. However, you may not purchase the others team's gear and you may not, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE refer to another club as "we" or "us." It is far more acceptable to root against a team than root for a team that is not yours.
4. It is in bounds to refer to your teams as "us" or "we." Fans do matter. Ask any professional athlete and they'll tell you the same thing. It's ain't called "home field advantage" for nothing. The idea of team extends beyond the lines of the playing field.
5. In an established rivalry, you cannot like both teams. You may not root for Duke and North Carolina, the Yankees and the Red Sox, Michigan and Ohio State, USC and Notre Dame. You just cannot. You must prefer one and hope the other loses every game in a blowout. Yeah, I'm looking at you members of the NFC West that are not named the Seahawks. 6. It is in bounds to criticize or question your team's management, coaching strategy or player performances. It shows you are knowledgeable and that you care. When you have a coach that has lost control of the club or is incompetent, it is your duty to question the team's direction.
7. You may not be a fair-weather fan. While you may not be as engaged when your team stinks and isn't winning, you still must hang in there with them when they are struggling. Los Angeles fans are the absolute worst when it comes to this rule. When the Dodgers are losing, nobody will even admit to following them. But if they're winning, you see two flags flying from every car. It's ridiculous. Clippers fans are even worse. There are also those who flip back and forth between USC and UCLA depending on who is more trendy at the moment. And people wonder why the second largest city in America doesn't have an NFL team.
8. You may not leave a ball game early to "beat the traffic" unless the game is an absolute blowout. Your team must be down 7 runs in baseball, 25 points in basketball and 3 touchdowns in football. Beating traffic is never important to a true fan.
9. If a player from your team leaves town, these are the rules:
A. If he is traded, and seemed to not want to leave, you may still pull for him to play well unless he is playing against your team. For me, Gary Payton was a good example of this. I still love The Glove.
B. If the player signs as a free agent for more money, you hate him. Especially if that player has gone on the record as saying that his new contract will not be based on money but winning. There is a reason that Washingtonians hate Alex Rodriguez. There is a reason there are signs in the crowd reading "Pay-Rod" and people showering the field with phony money when Pay-Rod is up to bat in Safeco Field. I hate him for damn good reason. I stood in the Mariner locker room as an intern for KOMO 4 holding the microphone and listened to Alex repeat his "This will not be a money decision" bollocks. I wish him a severe case of jock itch. C. If the player signs with a RIVAL team for more money, you can hope his career is ended by a tragic groin pull. See Johnny Damon for this one.
10. The team itself matters more than the roster. With the continuing activity on the police blotter these days, this rule is important. You can give up on individual players, but not the team itself. We gave up on Shawn Kemp when he couldn't keep the cheeseburgers out of his mouth, the booger sugar out his nose, and the seed in his testicles.
Violation of these rules should be a punishable offense. Maybe we could have a committee to decide to the severity of each violation. I would be Chairman of the Board of course.
Punishments could go something like this:
Minor Offense - No Sportscenter for three months.
Medium Offense - No cable/dish for one year.
Major Offense - One year in a minimum-security prison facility. While there you would be forced to watch tapes of WNBA games every day. The Supreme Court may rule that as cruel and unusual punishment however.
Years ago, right before I moved to New York, I sat down with my 93 year old grandmother to tell her I really was leaving Seattle. Keep in mind that I was scheduled to move to New York the week of the 9/11 attacks. My move was delayed a few weeks and my Grandmother thought I may not go. So, with the country racked with fear and New York having just survived the worst terrorist attack on U.S. soil in our history, my Grandma only had one question. She looked me right in the eye and asked "Honey, you're not going to become a Yankees fan are you?" No Grandma, I am not. Hand to heaven I am not going to become a Yankees fan.
Now that, my friends, was a sports fan.
Selah.
Johnny Wright
Chairman of the Board
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JW---my dad would now ask if you are unmarried, because you are his dream son-in-law....
Your grandmother sounds like mine--she would watch (and yell at) HER Mets, Rangers and Knicks---and tell them how to play the game. Back in the day there were Dodgers and Giants fans in my family (pre-Mets and the teams moving to Cali)--but not a single soul was a Yankees fan...
I cannot propose to you because I'm in a long term relationship...to a guy who only follows SEC football and the Saints (since the pre-Reggie losing days, so at least he's not a frontrunner), and prefers CSPAN and CNN to SportsCenter...
but on the other hand, he won't even think of telling me how to root.....
One of the hardest things about being in school is that studying has to come ahead of watching sports as much as I would love to--but the final degree will allow me to eventually buy season tickets, so the pain then the gain.
Well summarized.
My mom condemned me to be a Reds fan when she woke me up at midnight to watch the last 3 outs of the Reds sweeping the A's. I was 8, and its one of my favorite childhood memories. My dad condemned me to be a Bengals fan when he made me stay up to watch the superbowl when I was 6. I can still see the Joe Montana pass that should have been intercepted and ended the drive. Screw you John Candy.
Speaking of which, on throwbacks: you MAY not wear the throwback of a rival or someone who earned their glory at the expensive of your team. I am NOT allowed to wear a Montana or Rice jersey. In fact, Cinci and San Fran are in different conferences, I hate the 49ers, having lost 2 superbowls to them.
Leave the game early? Hell no. Traffic is for sitting in the car and listening to the post game sports reports. Locker room interviews, and drunk assholes calling into to state their opinions. Even for a blow-out.
I'm flattered by that Sarcastic One. No, I am not married. The odds are pretty slim that a member of the fairer sex can tolerate my arrogance till death do we part. That's shooting the moon.
I hope your boyfriend is grateful for a girlfriend that likes sports. My sister-in-law is awesome in that regard. She watches the games with my brother and their two boys. She's an amazing wife and mum.
Thanks for reading. Now go watch Sportscenter.
JW
Yes sir!
Very nice one JW. I think people that don't follow these rules just can't be trusted in life. Personaly I have always stuck to my local basketball team favorite tennis player and so on. You can't be flaky on issues as important as these.
We in Minnesota Timberwolf land are okay with #5 Celtic Garnett jerseys in the spirit you mentioned that he didn't go to the Nuggets. Sorry about your Sonics. You'll get such a better hockey team when they expand again.
Aside from my previous stated Alma Mater, I inherited my Dad's love for the Buckeyes. Which causes stressful months between my U of Michigan Alum girlfriend. For a joke, she gave my Dad a U of Michigan pennant, to which he promptly said, "Thanks, but we have plenty of toilet paper," and out the door it went.
But let me pose this question: As I am a Western Michigan Alum, who's rival is Central Michigan, but also a life long Buckeye fan, in a pre-season game where U of Michigan plays CMU, who do I root for? I say student section etiquette be damned, I'm pulling for the underdog.
I'm just a fan of the game homie! It's all supposed to be a fun diversion. Fun. Kids playing games.
Paul, the answer is simple. You always root against the Big 10. Always.
If we have to see another championship game where the Big 10 once again shows they are a step-and-a-half slower than the SEC and gets blown out I'm going to lose it.
Man do we need a playoff system. I hate the BCS with the heat of a nova.
I couldn't agree more! I'm a Bears fan because I was as a kid - mostly to piss my dad (a lifelong Vikings fan) off. I am also a Colts fan since living in Indianapolis in the late 90s. They are in separate conferences, even. You can not believe what an awesome SuperBowl I had a couple of years ago.
I always root for any team playing against Green Bay, Dallas, or New England. ALWAYS. If, for some reason, any of those team play one another, I root for a stands clearing riot that causes a minimum of 20 starters to be suspended for a minimum of 10 games. (That has yet to happen, sadly.)
You must support your team, though tough times (Bears post superbowl shuffle, Colts pre-Peyton) even if it means wearing an Indianapolis Colts jersey into a sports bar in Baltimore. Man, they are still bitter!
Which leads me to the question. If your team loads on a bus and moves across the country in the middle of the night, do you have a pass to find a new team? I think so, it was the organization that betrayed you, after all.
NFL season has started! Down with New England. Woo Hoo!!
this is pure and simple fascism, it's one of the best examples ever: pouring yourself into some thing "greater" than yourself so you can receive power back from it.
Will: If your team relocates, especially under questionable circumstances, it is legal to adopt a new club. I believe it's wrong to follow the team to their new city. I will root for the Oklahoma City Thunder to lose every game. The Thunder. That is just awful.
And "yawn," that may be one of the most illogical sentences I have ever read. Hilarious.
Actually, yawn, sports is one of the best outlets ever--it allows us to take a hate that would manifest itself in otherwise horrible ways and channel it productively.
Look at the US--we have tons of rivalries (especially in two team cities) but as a nation we generally like each other. (don't try to argue with me that Dems vs. GOP is an actual hatred--those two plus the Independents are all patriotic)
On the other hand, look at nations that are pro or college team poor...there are suicide bombers and terrorist cells everywhere you look.
Plus, as capitalists we make good money off of the licensed apparel (part of my tuition comes from a trademark scholarship from my school, so I love rivalry).
As human beings we need to 'hate the other'....sports allows us to take that into a safe environment and get it out (soccer is an extreme version that falls outside the bounds of my theory)...
Fascism is defined as "A system of government marked by centralization of authority under a dictator, stringent socioeconomic controls, suppression of the opposition through terror and censorship, and typically a policy of belligerent nationalism and racism."
Don't see the connection to that and sports...unless your team sucks and you think us scoring on you is 'terrorism'....
Sports, like sex, allows us to be a more peaceful society--it's an outlet....
Well, i grew up in cleveland. I Remember the Bernie Kosar era. MY browns left for baltimore about the same time i moved to michigan. So at age 12 i made mt choices. Red wings for hockey, Packers for football, Ohio State for college anything, and nobody for baseball or the NBA because both sports are populated with overpaid schmucks. That and baseball is as exciting to watch on TV as golf.
Paul: as an Ohio state teacher and student, I answer this way: Always root against Michigan. Always. Plus it'll make you're love life with your girlfriend more spicy.
I routinely root for Michigan state because they're Michigan's in state rivals.
Damn you JW, this year the SEC is going down to OSU! You'll see damnit.
JW - Well said. I'd like to add a few thoughts, if I may:
- It is NEVER acceptable to root for your team's primary rival; under any circumstances. No matter your rival's opponent, you must always stand on their sidelines ... even if it means that you have to be a fan of Fairleigh Dickinson for one afternoon.
- In the unlikely event that your team has several established rivals (e.g. Yankees versus Red Sox or Mets) and those rivals happen to be playing each other, you are required to watch the game and cheer on the defense; of both sides. This is a character-building exercise, as it helps to solidify your personal rivalry 'pecking order' to be used for future fandom.
- In the unfortunate event that you have moved away from your beloved team, it is permissable to follow the results of the local College team for the sole purpose of social interaction. Being able to speak with intelligence about local sports is a requirement for respect at the water cooler on Monday morning. It is in this spirit, and solely for this purpose, that you may gather information about the local College team. Also, this is with the understanding that a) it does not preclude you being able to follow your team, and b) the local team is not a rival of your team. NOTE* This only applies to College teams; Professional teams are excluded. No true sports fan would expect you to abandon your childhood professional team to follow the local pro team. In this case, a response of 'I don't care to follow the Cowboys' or whomever, is perfectly acceptable.
Oops, sorry, one more:
- Love them, or hate them, you must respect the SEC.
Those are all pretty good Tim. We've all been Fairleigh Dickinson fans for an afternoon. When they are a 15 seed playing a 2 seed like UNC or Kansas. It's why the NCAA Tourney is the best sporting event.
And yes, even a Pac-10 homer like myself has to admit that the SEC has the best football.
JW - As you know, I am a Pac-10 homer as well. SEC is classic football, but the Pac-10 pass-happy offenses are exciting to watch. The Big-10 is grind it out football played by big, midwestern farmboys.
IMO, the real football talent is in the SEC and Pac-10.
Agreed. Right now I'm watching the Game Cast of the Husky game on the computer like a pathetic addict.
Something to add to #2, esp for the females in the audience...(and I say this because I can't stand when almost fans bring all of us females down)...
If you are not really a sports fan but are going to dress in the colors of the team (esp for a huge game), PLEASE know the coach's name!
An example was a friend of mine....whose boyfriend went to Duke.
She wore the prerequisite blue shirt to the sports bar...but didn't know who Coach K was.
The internet will teach you all you need to know in 5 minutes flat...
that's a very narrow definition of fascism. As a cultural phenomenon, it's defined as giving away your power to a thing, below the level of awareness, from which thing you then receive power back, ie deciding something is great and getting your identity from feeling a part of it. This narrow set of rules for sports is a perfect example of confirmative culture, everybody huddled in the center, no originality, just feeding tired definitions of right and wrong back into itself, hating viciously any deviation. Your counter-arguments are all circular and say nothing.
Pseudo-intellectual bollocks.
I believe that what yawn was saying in blue (and I quote "As a cultural phenomenon, it's defined as giving away your power to a thing, below the level of awareness, from which thing you then receive power back, i.e. deciding something is great and getting your identity from feeling a part of it.") is that the following things also fall under the header of fascism:
Sex/Masturbation
Porn
Marriage
Friendship
Pet ownership
A successful business
Being a parent
Belonging to any club, organization, political party
Stepping outside and feeling the warm sun on your neck....hell--even breathing and your heart beating, since you subconsciously do that (well, most of us do)
you get the idea....so, fellow members of the Loyal 77, we're all fascists!
Yawn -
Confucius say: Person who represent themself as expert on fascism, then unconsciously surrender to the said expertise by spewing bunch of horseshit audience could care less about, also represent perfect example of fascist prick.
and the name yawn....
so appropriate!!!
JW - Tough game in Seattle today. Lose a game due to excessive celebration ... how ironic.
Two of my brothers and my Dad were there. They were really upset. A ridiculous call. Locker flipped the ball behind him and hugged his teammates. Shameful.
I've been pacing around angry for a couple hours.
Thanks for the condolences.
Well done J.W..
(and well done yawn, for proving J.W.s point.)
Long live the "real" fans.
Loved these points. However...
1. Is it permitted to change teams if your favorite team suddenly becomes a bunch of drug-using, self-absorbed assholes: '86 Mets?
2. Is there a statute of limitations on living/reveling in the glory of past championships? 10, 15, 20 years? (My NY Islanders continue to suck yet I'm often comforted by the 4 glory years 79-83. I can see the NY Giants not winning zip for the next 15 years and still holiding 18-1 over Patriot fans no matter how many titles they win.
3. Even though you may have favorite teams in every sport (including Soccer) is it okay to prioritize your favorites and root & follow more the sports you prefer?
4. Is it okay to love NASCAR?
I will try to give a fair ruling on Baierman's astute questions.
1. I would say that there is extenuating circumstances where a fan can denounce a team. A rarity though. The coked-to-the-gills 86 Mets would be a team that could have been abandoned. There could also be a situation where the inept management is so bad that fans could revolt and walk. Clippers fans, I feel for guys.
2. I don't believe there is statute of limitations on a championship being relevant. There is a rule about whining after a championship. Bill Simmons has said that if your team wins a ring, you cannot complain for 5 years. Seems about right.
3. Sports can be prioritized. Teams can be preferred over others. There can even be a shift depending on the event. For example: under normal circumstances football, basketball and baseball trump golf. But if it is the Masters, British or U.S. Open, you may have to reevaluate what shows on the telly. Same with payoff games in other sports.
4. While I can't watch 3 1/2 hours of left turns, I suppose it's okay to like NASCAR. As long as people realize that the drivers are not athletes and that the majority of the crowd is there hoping Jeff Gordon will crash and die.
Man I love sports.
Johnny Wright
Chairman of the Board
B, I'll let JW handle the first couple....but as someone who lives below the Mason-Dixon (I'm a transplant), let me answer #4 for you...
You can love NASCAR....but you can't call it a "sport" in my book....because if John McCain's 96 yr old mother can brag about driving 112 mph, you don't have to be an athlete to drive fast.
It's driving....in circles. What's the drug test like--to see how much caffeine is in your system?
Every day I thank my lucky stars that the man I love does not spend his Sundays sitting and watching cars circle a track for hours at a time. And listening to it on the radio? Uh, if you watch for the crashes like some do, you have defeated the purpose....
Now I can rest peacefully.
Go #17 go!
JW - Those are some great additions. Right on, man!
S.O. - Uh, I had you misplaced. Previous comments had me believing you were in upstate NY; but now I see that's not the case. I now understand your desire for me to root for Duke. Take solace, my friend, as I am a UK fan ... so I suspect that putting the hex on Gillispie and company would please you as well.
Thank you for a spot on absolutely correct set of rules! If you are raised with them, they are just natural. My poor dh was born and raised in a basketball town that doesn't live and breathe sports, unless you are betting on them. I, on the other hand, was born in Bulldog Town and raised by a couple of junk yard dawgs. You eat, sleep, dream, and pray to the almighty football. This worked out to be a fine arrangement for us. I pull for UNLV during basketball season....but my heart isn't in it. He pulls for Georgia during football season.
My grandmother, who passed away at 92 was a serious Georgia Bulldog and Braves fan too. I hope to be just like her!
Thank you for a lovely article. Hope to see more!
Go Dawgs! Sic'em....Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff
A few questions with some history:
I grew up in a house with no real love of college sports, but did grow up watching Brewers, Bucks and Packers.
I went to University of Wisconsin Madison, where I went to one season worth of football, but more for the fun then the games.
Next, I went to the University of Georgia, where at different times I went to one season of basketball, and one season of football. Football is where I saw reason to be annoyed with the UGA student fan, and acquire disdain for the alumni. But, also grew to love UGA gymnastics. Great fans, and four national championships helped with that though.
Now, I'm at Texas A&M, where school spirit makes me want to become and aggie, but the football coach is someone I love to hate, Mike Sherman.
And, in November, I'm moving to UCSD.
Do I have to pick ONE college to root for? Can I root for different schools for different sports? Do I have to pick a school to follow for football?
Unrelated 1: What about national teams? Do I have to root for USA Basketball/Hockey/Baseball? Can I pick my allegiance by sport?
Unrealted 2: How do you pick a favorite golfer/nascar/indy driver?
Renchub...
My advice (although JW is the Master) is this:
1) Root for the school you graduate from--for all sports.* If you go to grad school, you root for your undergrad alma mater unless it really sucks (podunk sized-wise, not quality of teams, and only because a win or loss doesn't make news sources).
Right now I would concentrate on a major and the piece of paper and stop school hopping if you can help it.
*exception is if your school and its division really suck at a sport, but your significant other's is a different division/nowhere near a rival. Keep the peace, root for them (this applies to ACC basketball/SEC football type situations only)
2) You cannot root for another country unless your parents moved directly from there as adults or you were born there. Unpatriotic otherwise.
3) As a female, I picked my golfer on looks. Sorry--it's true. I can recognize Sergio Garcia at any angle (two times I flipped the channel and stopped because I thought it was his butt, I was right). Otherwise, for me, no reason to watch something that slow moving. And he's a relative underdog. Any man who is going to give me grief about this--tennis and Maria Sharapova. 'Nuff said.
4) NASCAR/Indy driver...uh, from what I've seen, people root the same as their family/boyfriend/husband or the complete opposite just to piss them off. Cool colors? The right beer or soda as sponsor?
Maybe a trace the family tree and see who they're related to?
Renchub: Excellent questions. I'll try to answer them.
If you grew up with no real team affiliation, then bounced around at different universities, I would think that you are still a legal fan free agent. I think you could legally choose the Badgers, Bulldogs or Aggies. But then stick with them. To root for football at one school and basketball at another can happen, but rarely. There should be a good reason. With your case, I think it is similar to someone that adopts a team as a child.
Unrelated 1: With the national team I believe it comes down to two factors. The country you live in and the country of your ancestry. I root for the US and the United Kingdom minus North Ireland. Because my family is from Scotland and England. You root for your blood. I am as passionate about the English National Team - who won their World Cup qualifier this morning - as I am with anything else.
Unrelated 2: With athletes in individual sports, the choice comes down to the individual. My favorite golfers of all time are Freddy Couples and Nick Faldo. Freddy is a Seattle native and Faldo is from England. Same with tennis. I like James Blake and Andy Murray. The choice could be made on style of play, personality or geography.
Maybe that helps. Thanks for reading.
Seriously kids, I freaking love sports...
JW
"I can recognize Sergio Garcia at any angle (two times I flipped the channel and stopped because I thought it was his butt, I was right)"
That is bizarre and hilarious at the same time.
Little known fact about female sports fans...sometimes we watch an otherwise boring sport because the athlete is cute/has a tight butt.
But don't get me started on teams who sell their gear in pink. That is not acceptable. Make it so it fits us, but keep the original colors. Or make the pros wear the same color for one game (pink bats last year for breast cancer awareness was acceptable). As a female, if Jessica Simpson or Heidi Montag decide it's cute to do it, then it's not.....
I found my favorite NASCAR driver when i watched Tony Stewart lose a race, stroll up to the winner and punch him in the mouth. Tony thinks he's driving in a 200mph demolition derby, as is thereby fun to watch.
And while it may not be a very athletic sport, it is by no means easy. Drivers have to sit for 3 or 4 hours in a cramped 100+ degree cockpit, wearing 3 layers of clothing, going 200 mph in a car with no power steering literally inches from another driver who is doing the same thing. It's not athletic, or exciting to watch sometimes, but the drivers probably have a hell of a good time.
p.s. NASCAR = Non Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks
I never knew NASCAR was an acronym. See, you learn something new every day at our little nickel and dime dog and pony show.
Important question...Tom Brady is sidelined and Matt Cassel is his back-up...does he have to/get to take on Gisele duty as well?
(and wouldn't Gisele Cassel be a great name?)
The poor guy hasn't been lead QB since HS from what I read...although I'm sure he's got his share of groupies anyway...
Can you be both, nickel and dime AND a pony show?
J.W. - I took rule #7 personal. As a die hard Laker fan, I can tell you that it's flat out not true! I can't speak for the Clippers' fans because they suck. But there's plenty of us on the same list as Chevy Chase and Jack Nicholson.
Chick Hearn is somewhere turning in his grave right now!
I apologize, CLC_08, if I offended the great Chick Hearn or yourself.
I really like your rules, and keep muling them over in my head. I thought of another special circumstance though.
What if your team cheats? I mean more then on field "flexing" of rules, like running a pick play in pro football or too much pine tar on the bat, but full on system-wide cheating.
Black Socks scandal, type stuff. Players throwing games. Really hard to prove, and there aren't many examples of it, so there's another question, how much cheating before you give up on your team?
Signal stealing? Salary cap trickery? Contract tampering?
Obviously, in team sports, the team can still be liked while one player is reviled, but this does get into the tricky area of sports gambling too. What if people involved with a team are involved in sports book? Is there different levels for player v. coach v. GM v. team owner? Is there a statute of limitations for how long you can disown a team for that violation?
John
Oh, and for anyone concerned, I have a BS and a Ph.D. I've just worked at a bunch of different places, and the newest job has me moving to UCSD. Not so much by choice, honestly.
Renchub - I'm thinking rules #6 and #10 could give the sports fan hope. But you did get me to thinking about incompetent and/or dishonest referees. The Raiders/Patriots snowy playoff game in 2002. The Raiders got the shaft. Also, the NBA referees are developing a very bad name for themselves.
Renchub,
A good question. There may not be a concrete answer. But I think that if your team commits an infraction that happens all over the league - like stealing signs, scuffing and juicing baseballs, tanking down the stretch to gain lottery balls, stuff like that - a fan can dislike a guilty player but not the team. Like you said. Say a diehard Reds fan was disgusted by Pete Rose. He or she should still be a Reds fan.
I think it would take a huge offense, like the shameful 1919 Black Sox minus Shoeless Joe, to abandon a team due to scandal.
It's a judgement call. If I was a Patriots fan, I would have been embarrassed by Spy-Gate, but would have let it go. The Pats are not the only team to film other clubs signals and plays.
It's a personal decision. Deciding whether or not the team still deserves your allegiance.
I think you already had the correct view and didn't need my, uh, "official" ruling. Man is that sentence typed with my tongue jammed in my cheek.
Okay,
JW
Oh, of course hate the officials. They are always against the team you're rooting for. Didn't they see the other team do exactly the same thing last time they were on offense?
I agree with each and every aspect of the rules. I have lived by them for forty-nine years. I'm from New England and love my teams with a passion, (yes even the Bruins). I cried when the Sox won the World series, not because they had won, but because my parents weren't alive to see it for themselves. I thank the two of them for instilling the values of rooting for the home team, and the home team only.