After a tumultuous few weeks, I can now state that the Lindsey saga has come to a close. I flew out west, rearranged some faces, and came back like a caveman, dragging my woman home with a saber tooth slung over my shoulder.
The trip took me from Seattle to Vancouver, then back to Seattle, then to Denver and finally to Boulder. That's right, I covered more ground than JW at an all you can eat Jerky Fest.
Oh, and I found Ted (at least I hope his name was Ted, it was hard to tell once I knocked all his teeth out. But what he gummed sure sounded like "Ted"). This is all moot as "Ted" is currently several feet below English Bay in Vancouver, attached to a cement block.
On my travels, and with the help of Johnny's guide to all things awesome in the Pacific Northwest, I discovered some truly remarkable things you guys should check out.
Oh, and I found Ted (at least I hope his name was Ted, it was hard to tell once I knocked all his teeth out. But what he gummed sure sounded like "Ted"). This is all moot as "Ted" is currently several feet below English Bay in Vancouver, attached to a cement block.
On my travels, and with the help of Johnny's guide to all things awesome in the Pacific Northwest, I discovered some truly remarkable things you guys should check out.
- Capilano Suspension Bridge - It cost me $30 Canadian to walk across it, which equals something like $5 and two sea shells in American currency. No matter the price, this is one of the longest suspension bridges in the world. Also, you'll more than likely defecate in your shorts while you walk across.
- Mount Evans Scenic Byway - I'm not sure what it is about me and heights, but I definitely got my fair share of them this trip. You can drive to the top of Mount Evans, which is situated some 14,210 feet above the ocean. My rental car barely made the trip, and my hands were sweaty from driving up the guardrail-less roads. Also, I don't recommend huffing aerosol when you're at such a high altitude. But let's keep that between us.
- Coors Brewery Tour - They give you beer at the end. For free. Greatest single moment of my life, and I'm including the time Michael Jackson stopped at my house to use the bathroom. (Maybe he didn't, but his sister did)
- Seattle Public Library - The architect may have been drunk when he designed it, but the space actually functions rather well. Also, they have books.
- Sunrise Amphitheater - If you're thinking about getting married and happen to live in the Boulder, CO area, you may want to think about getting married here. A word to the wise, don't have your reception at the amphitheater unless you want to watch all your friends and family die in a heaping ball of twisted metal, pine trees, and rock as they drunkenly make their way down the windy road.*
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Try A Little Tenderness :
Oh she may be weary
And young girls they do get wearied
Wearing that same old shaggy dress
Yeah yeah
But when she gets weary
Try a little tenderness, yeah yeah
Oh my my, huh
You know she's waiting
Just anticipating
A thing that she'll never
Never, never, never, never possess, yeah yeah yeah
But while she's there waiting
And without them
Try a little tenderness
That's all you gotta do
It's not just sentimental, no no no
She has her grief and care
Yeah yeah yeah
But the soft words
They are spoke so gentle, yeah
It makes it easier
Easier to bare, yeah
You won't regret it, no no
Young girls they don't forget it
Love is their whole happiness, yeah
But it's all so easy
All you've gotta do is, man
Hold her where you want her
Squeeze her, don't tease her
Never leave her, get to her
Just try, try a little tenderness, yeah yeah yeah
You got to know how to love her, man
Take this advice, man
You got to squeeze her
Don't tease her, never leave
You got to hold her
And brother, something else
Try a little tenderness, yeah yeah yeah yeah
You've got to tenderness, now, uh
I tell you, don't lose her, no no
You got to love her, tease her
Don't leave her
Got to try, now now now
Try, try a little tenderness, yeah
Watch the groove
You got to know what to do, man
Take this advice
You gotta love and squeeze
Don't tease my baby
Love her, lord...
Is that all-you-can-eat jerky joint in our neighborhood? I'm just gonna go walk around until I find it.
You dolt.....the Canadian dollar is pretty much on par with the American dollar. It wasnt too long ago the Canadian dollar was valued higher than the american dollar. Typical comment from an uneducated tool. Have fun with your mortgage crisis and economic woes!!!!! I hope you lose your house and job!!!
Way to succeed caveman.
Good for you!
That suspension bridge looks great, seems like a very nice place to visit.
And the library was designed by Rem Koohas, one of the greatest architects of the last 25 years or so...
Welcome back Echo. Don't forget to rebuild your fire outside your cave to repel those pesky mastadons.
Are you happy Echo? You've pissed off a Canadian!!
Yikes that Canadian does not speak for all of us.... Welcome back Echo
You didn't run into Dave up there did you? He pulled a Hoffa i think...
piss canadan are dumshits.
wa wa wa cri like titti babsy
At least the pissed off person from Canada can spell.
is Thomas calling all Canadians "dumshits"? I would like to think that i am not a "dumshits" nor are most of the people i know.
I wsa caling piss canadene the dumshit not anjei.
I no i cat'n spell. Im not smrat that way.
A Texan, Canadian, and a Michigander are out riding horses.
The Texan pulls out an expensive bottle of whiskey, takes a shot, then another, and suddenly throws the bottle in the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the bottle in mid-air.
The Canadian looks at him and says, "What are you doing?! That was a perfectly good bottle of whiskey!"
The Texan says, "In Texas, there's plenty of whiskey and a bottle of it's cheap."
A while later, not wanting to be outdone, the Canadian pulls out a bottle of Molsen, takes a few sips, throws the bottle in the air, pulls out his gun and shoots it.
The guy from Michigan can't believe this and says, "What did you do that for? Molsen's a good imported beer!"
The Canadian says "In Canada there're plenty of Molsen and a bottle of it's cheap."
So a while later the guy from Michigan pulls out a bottle of Vernors. He opens it, takes a sip, takes another sip, and then chugs the rest. He then puts the bottle back in his saddlebag, pulls out his gun, turns around and shoots the Canadian.
The Texan, shocked, says, "Why did you do that?!"
The Michigander says, "Well, in Michigan, we have plenty of Canadians, but bottles are worth a dime."
Welcome back Echo. I'm glad to see that your journey went fine.
Dave said he wanted to help you on that, did he? He's missing almost since you departed.
Well Angie... don't waste too much time on Thomas. His clock is ticking... His time is near...
Pissed Canadian: Can't you understand a joke? Sorry...
For no other reason than that I want to share this and don't know where else to put it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjIr0B-XSrU