From The Sports Desk..."Don't let anyone say that it's just a game."
Eddie Vedder
Since my pathetic Seattle Mariners have been out of contention since about the third week of the 2008 season (they may have negative wins at this point, I stopped reading about them in June.) I have not paid as close attention to baseball as I usually do this summer.
The M's have a bloated, underachieving roster that is peppered with bums who hit well before the Mitchell Report. When "The Juice" stopped flowing, so did dingers and RBI's.
But come on, it's the baseball playoffs, of course I'm going to watch. Jack Bauer doesn't return until November and the Seahawks are only on once a week, what the hell else am I gonna do?
So. I have made a decision. A borderline fan violation. For the 2008 MLB Playoffs, I am kind-of-pulling for the Chicago Cubs. That's right Windy City residents! For the month of October I am sort-of-hoping you will win the World Series!
Notice I said "pulling" for them. Not rooting for the Cubbies. That is a self-created loophole to help me justify this. The fact they are in the National League was the only way I could pull the trigger on this momentous decision. The AL? I hope they all get syphilis.
I have no real ties to Chicago. Never stepped foot out of O'Hare. Had a layover once. However, I admire your city a great deal. The working class mentality. Great architecture. Chicago blues. Stories of Al Capone and Elliot Ness. I still miss Sweet Lou Piniella chucking bases around the Safeco infield, he's a great manager. There is a respect for a great sports town. Love Ernie Banks. Walter Payton was a childhood idol of mine. Still love Sweetness, bless his soul. Wrigley Field is a marvel. I like the traditions you guys have. "Throw it back! Throw it back!" Chicago residents know how to be fans. They're educated and loyal. Loyal to almost a fault.
The Cubs last championship? (Cubs Fans: You may want to skip this paragraph. Just scroll down. It's okay.) That would be 1908. Stop counting on your fingers, that's a hundred freaking years. Since then there have been collapses and curses. That damn billy goat! The Cliff Notes version of the Curse of the Billy Goat goes like this; Billy Sianis, owner of the local Billy Goat Tavern, bought two seats for Game 4 of the 1945 World Series. One for him. One for a bloody goat. Billy and the goat (see what I did there?) were admitted into Wrigley. But when the stink of the goat kicked up, complaints began to be filed and Billy and the goat were given the heave ho. Billy then somehow channeled evil spirits of Beelzebub and "cursed" the Cubbies. The Cubs lost the Series and Billy wrote to team owner Philip Wrigley from Greece, "who stinks now?" There has been a curse hanging over the stadium ever since.
(Cubs Fans: Maybe skip one more paragraph.) My personal theory is that Billy may have used the possession of a pet goat to his advantage. Perhaps the beast was used to summon the goat demon Baphomet. Entirely possible. (Cubs Fans: Welcome back.)
Another reason I am justifying a little Cubs support is my loyalty to Chicago native Eddie Vedder. I know he wants them to win more than anything. Ed has been an outspoken fan since his youth. In fact, Ed just composed and performed a song just for Cubs fans. It's great.
Sing it, Eddie.
A Cubs victory would be good for baseball. Good for history. Well, American history anyway. If I have to watch a World Series with the Tampa Bay verses Milwaukee I'll lose it. No way I could watch more than two games before shutting off the telly and picking up my book. Give us Chicago/Boston. Or Chicago/Los Angeles. At least that's interesting and watchable.
Chicago, we need to rid your great city of curses once and for all. Personally, I don't see how blowing up the "Bartman Ball" and then serving the remains in pasta sauce didn't work. If that was ineffective, man, what do you do? That should have guaranteed at least one ring. They blew the damn thing up and ate it. It should of worked. Science.
Admittedly, I am going to be really apathetic through all this. Really half-assin' the whole thing. May even fast-forward through an inning or three. I won't be pacing the floor in the bottom of the ninth or stewing after a loss. But I'm kind-of hoping this goes well for you.
Don't sneer at my the power of my fanship, Cubbies. Don't take it for granted. You should be excited. You are bringing aboard - on short term loan - a fan that witnessed a Supersonic championship at three years of age. Almost remember that. I was a cog in the machine that led to a Washington Husky national title in 1991. Sure, they crapped the bed for years after that, but I was there when we won.
It's true Seattle teams were upset by the Nuggets when they had the best record in the NBA and pissed away a 116 game winning season and got blown out by Michael Jordan in an NBA Finals and lost in a recent Super Bowl, but I was integral to those near achievements.
Certainly, I can't make things any worse.
Let's go Cubs. I guess...
Stumble This
Reddit!
Silly Johnny,
The AL can't get syphillis. They have the designated hitter rule.
Sincerely,
Kennesaw Mountain Landis
Best comment of the week is awarded to Don't Swayze Bro.
Nobody is topping a Kennesaw Mountain Landis reference
Go Dodgers!
Fair weather douche.
I think my Reds were eliminated 2 days before your mariners.
I'm used to this, so every year I pick a scrappy underdog and go with them.
I can't pick the Cubs, because they share the division with the Reds. So I'm going to go with the Devil Rays, because they've been so historically bad. If they can turn around a small market team, maybe Cincinnati can too.
Besides, Baseball needs a jinxed team. Baseball won't be baseball if the Cubs win.
I hear Steve Bartelesman is a Rays fan now.
Poor Rays. Well, so long as he doesn't become a Reds fan, I'll be happy.
Gun violence is justified sometimes. You don't have to kill him, just shoot off his glove hand.
Welcome to the dark side! Best team in the league with the worst string of luck.
I don't think Dru picked up on the sarcasm.
Oh yeah, Long's dark side line made me laugh.
I can't say it any better than kbk. Like the rest of the loyal reds fans, i thought for sure this was our year. We had some of the very best young pitching talent anyone had seen in years. So said every stupid ass baseball insider and media guides i read. So once again, i got pumped for this year. (sigh)
Anyways, i'm pullin for the rays and i hope every NL plane crashes in a ball of flames during the play-offs this year. Fuck the cubs and Pinella. I was ok with him coaching AL teams but for some reason i can't stand him coaching in the NL.
Welcome aboard, JW! For the next three weeks or so, you're screwed.
But only temporarily.
Nice.
Three solid weeks of screwing? Make me a fair weather fan as well!
But seriously, JW...you're not a temporary Cubs fan--according to your OWN rules, you are just rooting against the other team they play.
Technically you are right. Which is why I hammered home my apathy towards the whole plight. I'm kind-of-sort-of hoping they win.
JW - I got sucked in the same way back in '01. I thought "oh what does it hurt to 'Pull' for the Cubs". Next thing I knew I was buying my son a Cubs jersey and turned out to be a life long fan! Kicked my Boston Redsox loving family in the ass!
Long is the baseball equivalent of The Prodigal Son.
How's the fan experience so far, JW?
I'd like to reiterate comment #3 on this post.
(Continue.)
Careful, CLC. I wouldn't push any buttons if I were you.
I've watched a bit of both games. Both pretty ugly. Losing both games at home with Zambrano getting shelled, that is not good.
I may have jinxed the whole operation.
Are you saying that you have a billy goat? You really should have disclosed that prior to signing on as a guest fan.
The funny thing is ... all true Cubs fans are still somehow surprised by the developments of the last two days. Anyone who says they're not surprised is a fairweather fan.
Buttons? Who's pushing buttons? "Button Pushing", would be to make a cynical reference to Arizona's scheduled castration next Saturday.
Perhaps you have forgotten that I have been a Cubs fan since I was a tot. To submit jabs at the Cubs and ASU in successive posts is definitely pushing my buttons. (BTW, referring to ASU as Arizona, whether accidental or not, is about as low as you can get.)
Johnny, let's run the highlights from last week in Beaverton, shall we?
Also:
AP October 12, 2008 - After lofty expectations, the once mighty USC Trojans have been reduced to another Pac-10 has-been. With losses to Oregon State and Oregon, together with the humiliation this weekend at the hands of Arizona State, basement-dwelling Trojan fans are left wondering what happened to their 2008 season.
Tim....you can't handle a little button pushing? I thought this was a man's site...and this from the man who compared me to that petite blond in the caption competition a few weeks ago?
Tim - my apologies for the negligent reference. I understand. It's like calling the Lakers "L.A." (could cause confusion with the Clippers). Huge gaffe on my part.
Run the highlights. Quote the articles. Then stand in line behind all of the others who love to hate us.
Sarcky - A few weeks ago?!?!? Babe, we moved on from that long ago. Besides, I wasn't exactly complimenting myself on that one either.
CLC - I stand in line behind nobody. When you awaken from your Trojan-laden dreams, mine shall be the face that delivers you back to reality.
Wait, errr ...
8 days and counting...