ornate line
For Sale: Michael Jackson's Unwashed Underpants
bubbles 2.jpgThere are reports that say a New Jersey businessman will be auctioning off a pair of Micheal Jackson's unwashed tighty-whities on ebay later today.

Hang on ... Need to throw up in a bucket ... Give me a sec ... Hold on ... Still honking ... I think that's pizza ... Oh man, some came out of my nose ... Anyone have an Altoid? ... Okay, I'm back. Sorry about that.

The undies in question were reportedly part of the evidence confiscated in 2003 by Santa Monica DA Tom Sneddon as part of their child molestation case against the former King of Pop and current King of Crazy. A pair of size-28 Calvin Klein underoos can be yours if you meet the reserve price of $1 million dollars.

For a million clams you can become the creepiest person on Earth. A bargain at twice the price.

Who do they think would be bidding on the underpants? A newly opened Hard Rock Cafe that wants to have a pedophile wing? "Here are Michael Jackson's dirty whites and Gary Glitter's leather chaps. Our specials today are the Herb Grilled Chicken Breast and the Hickory Smoked Bar-B-Que Combo. I can take your order whenever you're ready." And where has this disgusting piece of "memorabilia" been for the last five years? In some sort of hyperbolic decompression chamber? A safety deposit box? Never mind, I don't want to know.

Just thinking about that has made me queazy again. Where's my bucket?

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I'm so happy I haven't took my breakfast yet. Gotta have to wait a few hours until I can eat.

What a disgusting auction. Well, it's not on the text, but just to make a worst case scenario, are there skid marks on the underoos?

said Leonardo Carvalho on September 10, 2008 7:44 AM.

Wow JW what an article for the end of the world.

The LHC is firing up as we speak.


said Sheriff Pablo on September 10, 2008 8:07 AM.

Wow. What a way to start my day Rev! That's pretty gross. Who'd want ANYONE'S crusty skidders?

Some potential eBay bidders:


said ConservaLiberCrat_08 on September 10, 2008 8:33 AM.

For a million bucks, they'd better throw Bubbles into the auction, too.

This guy has been sniffing too many underoos if he thinks someone is going to buy this.

said CindylovesScara on September 10, 2008 10:51 AM.

i wondr if mikel jaksen beet it in his unde's. ha ha ha ha

i thnk mmikel jaksen is gud shit. evrbudy try to cach him ridin drity.

is bulshit tht he git a bad rapp.

ashol medea bustn the kin of pop..

beet it bete it bete it..

tha a dam gude song. dam gude.

i lik bad to.

i don lik peple givin mikL shit.

m n m sing shit bout mikl. that pssis me of.
i hate m nm sonbich.

if i evr git to go to a mikl jaksin concrt. I be lke badass mthr.
mikl is on of mi favrite. nex too grth broks.
i lik werd al yankavik. he bdass to. fune' shit.
but m nm is a ashole. I hat tha bich.

said Thomas on September 10, 2008 12:15 PM.

I would have to say this auction is Bad, Dangerous and Off the Wall. Johnny do you Got To Be Starting Something? Whoever buys this stuff needs to Beat It.

said E on September 10, 2008 12:25 PM.

e lik mikl to.

e i no tha wrds to bete it.

yu prolly no thm to.

bete it jus bete it.
bete it jus bete it.

we lov mikl don we e.
me an e lik mikl.

eny budy hoo don lik mikl cna kis me an e ass.
we kik yor asis for hatn mikl.

said Thomas on September 10, 2008 12:39 PM.

Pablo: I was following the Collider story late last night. I guess it's good we didn't blow up.

Truthfully, I still don't know what to make of the thing. 10 billion bucks and 14 years in the making. Most say it will be months before any kind of data is relevant anyway. I suppose it's just the possibility of discovery that is important.

said Johnny Wright on September 10, 2008 1:17 PM.

Ebay doesn't allow the auction of used undergarmets fortunately.
Looks like they'll have to take em down to the local pawn shop.

said chad on September 11, 2008 1:01 AM.
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