We had fun with the democratic ticket, now for the republicans. This photo didn't turn out at all like it should have. From Neurotopia.
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This is what happens when you take all that viagra. Good thing he's gonna stand behind a podium tonight.
The man has no class. Doesn't he know it's impolite to point. Grabbing your erect crotch and yelling isn't very refined either for that matter.
Is he retarded to mommy?
...3 minutes later...
Agent: "Okay, and what do you call your yourselves?"
McCain: "The Aristocrats!"
Piper: Grandma, I mean Mom, that man is scaring me.
Palin: It's okay honey he's harmless.
It's a miracle! McCain can lift his hands up over his shoulder.
The only conceivable scenario under which the Democrats win the Presidency.
McCain is penis fencing!
"Mommy look! If it was just three inches longer it'd be just like Daddy's!"
"Palinti? I've got your palinti right here ..."
"Uhhh ... uh-huh. You said ween her."
Paul, that was a hilarious caption.
Paul - funny as hell man!
"Green Screen THIS you BITCHES!!"
[Palin to kid]
"Honey, this is your new daddy now"
Piper: "Mommy,what's he doing?"
Palin: "He's playing pretend sweetie. Right now he's Barack Obama"
Yeah, The Aristocrats is going to be hard to top!
"Biden! You 'ole salt. I see you trying the get an upskirt shot."
McCain: "I got your CHANGE right here Sugar Tits!!"
Aha! CLC, "pretending he's Obama" is a killer!
hahahaha... that was funny CLC...
"He really is going to fuck us over; isn't he Mommy?"
"...that's not fair mom! How come HE gets two Jello cups!!"
Hey, you there. Come here and answer me: WHO'S YOUR DADDY?!?!
McCain: "Ooouuch"
"I know that I'm at the head of the class, Mom, but this is ridiculous!"
McCain: "Giggidy-giggidy-Gig-gi-DY!!"
Sorry Piper, but mommy's beliefs say you must now carry it to term, get married, and name it something silly like 'Charm or Gospel.'
I didn't know that McCain also has the same strand of penis cancer the Australian pastor had...
Piper: "Mr. McCain asked me to touch his monkey. Can I play with the monkey, Mom?"
Palin: "You need to have a talk with your sister."
Thanks for the nomination....and now.....Penis Fencing!
McCain: "We have a WINNER!!! Bob, tell him what he's won!"
[announcer] "Well John he's won a date with the single and very available Ms. Piper Palin!!"
Piper: "Mommy, I'm scared"
Palin: "Don't worry sweetie, you can't get pregnant yet."
Piper: "Mommy, it was MY turn to play with the microphone!"
Palin: "Be nice baby, and let him play with it. He'll be dead in a few weeks and you can have the mic all to yourself, okay?"
'You need to go to your room now honey. Mommy's gonna ride the 'straight talk express' for a little bit.'
McCain: "100 people surveyed. Top 5 answers are on the board. Piper ... name another word for 'Sister'."
Piper: "Slut"
McCain: "Survey says: 'Slut'!"
DING!
Nice one Tim.
"Mom, why is Uncle John playing 'Vietnamese Labor Camp' again?"
Piper honey you just let mommy finish "talking into the microphone" and we'll go out for some nice polar bear steaks!
'It's called priapus honey - a condition defined by prolonged erections in the absence of sexual stimuli, known to be a rare side effect to the use of Viagra. '
God Bless America, and God Bless My Magnificent Cock!
Piper: "Is it really fun to stay at the YMCA, Mommy?"
McCain: "Young man, there's no need to feel down. I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground ..."
"Hey, you! In the front row! What's your name? Congrats, you'll be Palpatine's VP after I kick it!"
It's been black like this ever since I had that "quality time" with the AT-AT.
'It's called an erection honey. Men get them when they are excited. I can't tell you any more except 'abstain'. Also, don't talk to your sister ever again.'
An acceptance speech don't mean a thing if it aint got that 'schwing'.
"Hey, Ridgey, it could have been you up here with me if you had just 'talked to little Johnny!'"
'Mommy, when did the capacity of 72 year old men to sustain richer, stronger, more satisfying, erections become a campaign issue?'
Rumor of Dave's attendance at the Republican National Convention cause different people to react in different ways.
"Sweetie, this is how you become a presidential running mate.
Now its very important to remember to work the shaft AND the balls."
"Yes dear, Daddy does the same thing to my penis all the time."
John McCain's hurtful taunting regarding his wife's age reached a climax shortly after Sarah Palin's acceptance speech.
Here, we observe the strange behavior of the elderly American male during his 'Trophy Wife Exchange' phase of life.
Where's that crawling lady from Obama's picture? I have what she was looking for right here in my hands!
I'll help you find your dolly later, dear. Right now I have to earn this spot on the ticket.
"He's really nice mommy. He said he's gonna give you a pearl necklace!"
Yes honey, but he's going to a Pearl Diving tonight in our swimming pool. I hope he doesn't get stuck like that guy from Palahniuk's story.
Colour our world blackened!
McCain: "...and I wanna give a shout-out to my homie LEVI!! Whaddup PLAYA!"
Palin: "...okay sweetie, you have to pay attention if you want to learn this the right way. First, you have to lick your lips like this..."
Tina Fey showcasing her new skills in political porn.
"Okay sweetie, Mr. McCain is getting ready to drill for oil okay?"
'He's just showing the convention what he means by Head of State, dear.'
"Mommy Bristol said SHE would show me!!"
Piper: "Mommy why is Uncle Johnny so scared?"
Palin: "It's because he sees the Grim Reaper honey"
[in a whisper]
"...seven days"
Nice CLC. Bit of the truth, no? He's kind of looking like Darth Vader at the end of Return of the Jedi after he takes off his helmet. Less than fresh.
Piper: "... I see dead people"
E - nice analogy. He does have the "not so fresh" look about the face... as always. I'm impressed that none of the lesions showed up.
Clearly he thinks this convention is going to have a 'happy ending'.
'How many feminists does it take to run for VP?'
'How many?'
'Two. One to bomb people, the other to suck my dick!'
Oh shit! That was comment 69! Roll over John it's your turn now.
[McCain at a press conference]
"I'll make this quick... Fuck you, fuck you, and fuck you."
Zombie Porn II - John McCain Boogaloo.
"Mommy, what's a Bucket List? I saw your name on it."
[McCain to Obama] "My black cock is bigger! I should know....I founded the support group for it!"
McCain's new slogan - The Grampa Tubesteak Express.
Beat this, Obama!
'Yes the VP is in, but she can't come to the phone right now shes got my dick in her mouth.'
'I'm old and I'm gonna die soon so come over here and suck my dick', doesn't strike me as the suavest pickup line, but hey, whatever works I guess.
"...I told you to stand back sweetie, that thing will put your eye out"
CLC: "First, you have to lick your lips like this..."
You move a little farther up the list every day, babe.
Da-yumn. Right their at the convention. Girls a freak. Who's he gonna nominate for Sec. of State, Christy Canyon?
McCain : Look! More Zombies!...Uhhhh I Mean...Holy Shit! Zombies!!!
C'mere Ruth Bader Ginsberg! I Got somethin' for ya!
Sarah Palin: "Okay, honey. Do exactly what Bristol showed you."
New McCain slogan - McCain, Every Inch a Gentleman.
If the Obama lovers are dumb enough to vote for someone that is pretty, can talk good and have absolutely no experience, I can top that with someone that is prettier, talks better, and has more experience.
If they want something black that smells like Michelle Obama, I can top that too.
"And now we cup the balls for added stimulation."
What do you mean, XYZ?
What does an airplane do? Is that a trick question? They crash...that's why I take the bus...
Eight years of Bush....here's some dick to change things up....
As a lifelong member of the Corny Collins Fan Club, John McCain took great pride in informing people 'Hey baby, you look like you could use a stiff one!'.
What do you mean 'there's already been a Bush and Dick ticket'? Crap....I should have picked Romney for VP...at least he was qualified...I just don't like the way Cindy looks at him...especially since those Mormons can have more than one wife---I've seen that Big Love show....
You're right--I AM a DOM!!!! Not only am I member (heehee--I said member) but I'm going to be the President!!!
Bob Dole---hey, look--I hold mine with my left hand, too!!! Yay Pfizer!!!!
Cindy---c'mere--Sarah said she's got a monster at home and she'll show us how to use ours later!!!!!
Phantom of the Opera looks a little different than I remember it.
"I know you want to help mommy, Sweetie, but these are 'big person' diapers..."
i like the phantom one, ooh point!
I read the text of McCain's speech a little earlier. While it was largely free of historical and geopolitical solecisms, I did notice the occasional boner.
In an untypically pandering move to the sci-fi crowd, McCain recreates 'the point' from Invastion of the Body Snatchers.
My Friends, now more than ever our nation stands at a crossroads. One road leads to appeasement and failure, the other road leads to MY PENIS!
BTW, if McCain gets elected and I end up in Guantanamo, remember to pour a little malt liquor for your fallen homie.
And I promise to you, that if I win the erection, uuuhhhh, I mean, election...
We face many dangerous threats in a dangerous world, yet my penis shall comfort thee.
And it was then that John McCain's dream came true as he spotted the poster of Sarah Palin in a patriotic bikini holding a rifle.
but mom...Just take his f**king candy, just like mommy did!!
Piper: "What's he doing mommy?"
Palin: "We're playing pretend again sweetie. This time, he's Bill and I'm Monica"
"Drill, baby, drill!"
Mommy, What's a degenerate?
Shut up honey, mommy is interviewing for a new job.
Palin: You did a good job dear.
McCain: Limbaugh, Your daughter is next!
Looks like a cross promotion for Viagra and "To Catch a Predator".
"I see 'pretty much dead' people. Do you see him, Mommy?"
McCain introduces his platform to appeal to the FLDS vote.
McCain further secures the white woman vote.