...once when I was 32?
I don't know if Tina Yeakey, 32, is a fan of Jane's Addiction but I'm gonna assume she recently watched the Been Caught Stealin' video.
See, Tina walked in to a Michigan City Kmart the other day and walked out with a lot of stuff she didn't pay for.
Some of it was jammed in her purse.
The bulk of it was stuffed in her pants.
Here's how the bust went down: First officers approached Tina and found in her purse a bunch of really random stuff: two dental kits, a bottle of cologne, one toy car, 12 packs of Ponds Facial Strips, a bottle of anti-fungal cream, two fingernail kits and two bottles of foundation primer.
Then it got weirder.
When informed that she would be patted down by the officer, Yeakey unbuttoned her pants and pulled out...
10 DVDs
A Play Station game
A pair of white tube socks
Black & Red bra
Black and red pair of women's underwear with the word "pouty" printed on them
3 pairs of boys underwear
And 2 women's rings
2 of those DVD's included "Girls just want to have fun" and "Death Row."
No, I'm not making that up.
Okay Tina, next time you want something and you don't want to pay for it...just don't.
Now for the fun part Yesbutnotbutyes readers...
What do you supposed Tina was going to do with all this stuff?
Was it her Fall shopping?
Early Christmas presents?
Is she related to Macgyver?
While you formulate your answers here's Jane's...
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Cook crank fashionably, then wrap a present for her son?
Some sort of dental/costume/orgy/movie night?
Well... I think that Ike has beaten the brains out of Tina's head for good... Now she uses a fake id with a different last name, fake age and despite all the money she earned from the showbizz she's started stealing. That Winona Rider Syndrome is contagious, I guess...
I think that neither she knew what to do with all the stuff. Or maybe it's some kind of voodoo pack she was preparing for Ike's ghost -- who still beats the shit out of her from the beyond -- and as the Kmart ran out of frog's legs, bat's wings, snake's armpits' powder and shark's rotten teeth, she swapped some ingredients to see if it would work anyhow.
Part of the stuff she got (the bra, the undies and the socks) were for the voodoo witch queen costume, along with a raggedy red tablecloth she already had at her shack.
I'm just guessing...
Sadly, this didn't suprise me at all. I manage a supermarket and while I sympathize with those in retail at all levels, every scum and weirdo on the planet must eat so they all eventually visit a grocery store. Therefore, I get to see them all on a regular basis. Admittedly, mine is not in the best of urban areas but we get truly all kinds of shoppers and shoplifters.
Many steal in order to sell for drugs - usually larger quantities of diapers, formula, meat, etc. This lady sounds simply psychotic. Maybe a thrill-stealer. Kids are the least of the problem. Oddly, they didn't tell me about this part of the job during my interview.
Let's see....Halloween is approaching. So my guess is that the bra, panties, tube socks, fake nails, rings and makeup were for her costume--she was going to dress as Frankenfurter from Rocky Horror Picture Show...
(and pad accordingly so she would look like a crossdresser)
The dvds, toy car and video game were to keep her 6 children under the age of 7 entertained at home while she went out--so she didn't need a sitter but didn't have to worry about Child Protective Services being called...10 DVDs and she should be able to stay out til at least 3.
I think she was going to use everything she stole to build a Fortress of Solitude, but the cops beat her to it.
Tina's boyfriend finally made parole, so she had to pick up a few things to make his homecoming special. The dental kits are for her meth-mouth. The "pouty" panties and matching bra was something sexy for lucky guy.
That's got to be embarrassing to get caught stealing panties from Kmart. Damn.
Curious ideas folks. especially the thoughts surrounding Halloween.
Jim, sorry this post cut close to home. Feel free to share any stupid shoplifting stories from your job? Change names to protect the guilty and all.
I will do so but not tonight. Study-time now. It would be a good post though to have everyone share the outrageous things from their job. All here who have at least two adults crap on the floor of where they work please hold up your hand... I do hope I'm not alone on this one. My job is special but come on!
Jim...so far, only one adult--that I am aware of....first job, older man wanted to use our bathroom--but it was located upstairs....so as he walked away mad (I'm sorry--I was 16 and didn't build the building), he shook out his pants leg....and left us a present....
kids peed in the dressing room...some rather artistically...
thank god for stockboys......
Also had a creepy guy try on boys shorts in different sizes--he wasn't tall, but they were way too tight/revealing...and he kept asking me if I thought they fit....I diplomatically told him that it all depended on how comfortable he felt--because it was his money, not mine (I knew he was trying to get a reaction that would get him off...and refused to play along).
People steal in the city, they steal in the burbs and they steal in the rural areas...no specific age, race, sex, or economic range. (I knew someone who was a friend of the family who always got 'great deals' on stuff...turns out she was stealing and marking the price tags down--her husband made great money, she just had a problem)
Poop on floor - at work? Seriously? How the hell have I worked 20 years and not had this happen?
Oh, yes. I'm British.
the joys of retail...and they wonder why turnover is so high...
Sorry, Scara....I'm sure that even the British are not above this sort of thing...if the royal family is not perfect, I doubt the rest of the population is...
Damn SO. Good story, though Im glad I wasn't there.
Also, maybe he was just making a comment on the customer service?
no...for a bunch of snotnosed teenagers we were actually pretty good w/customers--we waited til we got upstairs to the breakroom to talk about them...
but the other customer was definitely looking for some sort of service....
Oh...then there are always the guys who call and think they're going to get phone sex or something similar....one store I worked at always got the heavy breather caller right after a new employee started...the guy who wanted you to get all freaked out...I used to laugh because that's not quite what he was looking for.
And obviously it was someone who knew us.
then there was the boss who was bit when he ran after a shoplifter...she broke the skin.