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15 stars who'd go to the opening of a envelope

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Pass by a newsstand, gaze at the tabloids or watch 5 minutes of E! and you're almost guaranteed to see a story about one of these famous faces.

Why?

Cause they're the publicity whores.

The stars (for lack of a better word) that will go anywhere as long as there are cameras present.

Think of this list more as a starting point...please add you choice to the comments.


1- Mario Lopez - His last 2 years trying to get noticed has actually brought his career back from the dead. Remarkably he's getting more offers again.

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2. Vincent Pastore - He's carried one great character name, on one hit TV show to the fullest. More pussy? No thanks.

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3. Julia Allison - How else does one get to be an Internet celebrity?

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4. Arianna Huffington - I love reading her blog but shit she's everywhere.

huffer.jpg

5. Denise Richards - She's even dragged her kids into the mix to try to get her back on top.

richards2.jpg

6. Gene Simmons - A band, a magazine, a long tongue and a few TV shows to boot. Shiiiiiiiit!

gene.jpg

7. Michael Kors - Fashion sense gone publicity hunter.

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8. Kim Kardashian - If you don't know who she is, you haven't been reading your tabloids. (Good on ya!)

Kimmy2.jpg

9. Dina Lohan - Once you find yourself parodied on SNL for your horrible parenting skills, you know you've made it bad.

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10. Ex-members of N'Sync (minus Timberlake) - Coming soon to a reality TV show near you.

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11. Bobby Flay - He can cook. His publicist wishes he could do so much more.

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12. Mel B - When the Spice Girls were done, she kept their name in the tabloids.

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13. Dave Narvarro - I love Jane's Addiction. But Dave, quit it already.

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14. Jose Conseco - What's his excuse? He's bankrupt.

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15. Gayle King - I can't wait till one of my friends gets famous.

gaylesomething.jpg


This list can go on and on so why not add the name of the star(s) I've missed in your comments.

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16 Comments

Dustin Diamond - loser

Christopher Dardin - fat loser

JESSE JACKSON'S PUNK ASS!! - don't get me started

Corey (Feldman/Haim - doesn't matter) - EL-O-EL

Omarosa - She'll be pregnant soon with some B-Lister's baby.

said ConservaLiberCrat_08 on September 8, 2008 8:35 AM.

All should be cast into the pit by Johnny!

said Bigus Dickus on September 8, 2008 8:44 AM.

Hulk Hogan and Family...

Flava Flavour - who the hell being sane in her mind would like to really marry him... Two seasons banging with those girls... he looks like he had born turned inside-out and still there are those girls around, is that lucky or money talking? Put 'em on the list too.

And anyone who has been in the cast of "The Surreal Life". All of them.

I'm lucky I don't have all your tabloids around here, and I barely watch the E! channel. You know, we need to get into the madness sometimes, to make sure how normal we are.

said Leonardo Carvalho on September 8, 2008 9:05 AM.

Calvin Coolidge. That guy!

Eng Bunker. His brother is pretty cool, but Eng is just shameless.

Sgt. Rock. I mean, really? The Viper Room? Does anyone go there anymore? That was one lame scandal.

Ed Asner. Ugh. Just ugh. I can't believe he cradle-robbed Carol Channing just to amp his relevance to a younger demo. She couldn't have possibly known what she was getting into. The cad.

J.D. Salinger. Enough with the "accidental" topless paparazi shots! Dancing With Literary Giants is NOT giving you a callback!

Eli Whitney. The Prada Cotton Gin is so 2006. You've lost it, sir. Retire already.

said Don't Swayze Bro on September 8, 2008 10:01 AM.

I'm familiar with Dave Navarro, Ariana Huffington, and Gene Simmons. I've heard of N'Sync. The rest are new to me. I need to get out more.

said Miss Cellania on September 8, 2008 11:52 AM.

Into the pit!

said Johnny Wright on September 8, 2008 12:07 PM.

No Miss C, you should be commended for not knowing anyone else.

Don't go out and learn more about them. You're life is so much better for not knowing.

said Baierman on September 8, 2008 12:19 PM.

Miss C., I'm with you... I'm just familiar to Genne Simmons, Dave Narvarro and I know that one of those N'Sync guys was in that greek wedding movie. The others are new to me.
Maybe excpet for Dina Lohan, her lastname gave me her identity...

said Leonardo Carvalho on September 8, 2008 1:44 PM.

Is Canseco so bad off that he has to walk around and show his baseball cap?

What made J.D. Salinger be in the tabloids recently?

said etantao on September 8, 2008 1:53 PM.

DSB....I'm still laughing--thanks!

Baier--you forgot the biggest (publicity) whore of them all--Paris Hilton...

Then there's K. Fed....and his Vegas gigs...at least he has the excuse that he has to put food in his kids mouths now...

I, unfortunately, know who every one of them is except Julia Alison. I take way too many study breaks....

said sarcastic one on September 8, 2008 7:10 PM.

Paris, Nicole, et. all.

Sure they're guilty, but I wanted to pick not all the obvious choices, SO. Hope you don't mind.

Glad you liked the list....it's not too late to remove all your gossip bookmarks - minus ours. My friend James is trying to go cold turkey doing the same thing.

said Baierman on September 8, 2008 10:56 PM.

Leonardo - you stick with the beach beauties and butt dancers in Brazil. We don't know anything about that and it's much more interesting than celeb gossip whores.

said Baierman on September 8, 2008 10:58 PM.

Oh yeah, Baierman, I simply forgot them. Maybe its because I'm just watching the cable lately, so I'm not watching the TV shows they use to go.

But our ass celebrities LOVE to appear at any TV show they can, to show their 'beauty' and dance a little.
Almost always the same history. They start as a dancer in a band, but they all have a dream: to be an actress or the hostess of an kid's TV show. The strange is how all they seem to love the children. So they dance, some of them pretend singing, show up on TV, on events to be interviewed, later they pose to the Playboy Magazine or some others around here and then one day, puffff... simply disappear.

I'll send a list for you to know our flash celebrities. Wait for my update later.

said Leonardo Carvalho on September 9, 2008 7:01 AM.

Let's talk about some of the butt dancers around here.

1. Carla Perez.
She was one of the two original dancers on the "O Tchan" group. Their song is awful, contagious for those who want to shake the bones, but still awful. She's the one who was most succeeded on her carrier. When she earned a good money she start a 'beautifying' proccess, then she appeared in a Playboy Mag edition.
After she dropped the band, giving place to the third girl on this list, she started singing. AWFULLY! Strangle a cat and record it with some tune playing on the background and it's almost the same. Lately she started a career hosting a jeopardy like TV show, but she was as smart as a doorknob, and there is a footage on the web showing her misspelling words on TV. LIVE!
In the picture I've selected, in the left side she is on the beginning (it's written Poor, in blue) and then the most up to date picture (written Rich, in red)

http://www.olaboratoriodedexter.blogger.com.br/carla_perez.jpg

2. Scheila Carvalho
She danced along with Carla Perez in the band. There was a contest to choose the new brunette dancer, and she was the chosen one. She danced, appeared on at least three Playboy issues, and now and don't know where she is. And I don't really care.

http://www.areavip.com.br/fotos/scheilacarvalho2.jpg

3. Scheila Mello
She was chosen in a contest to take Carla Perez's place as the blonde dancer of the band. Same stuff. Some playboy issues (five, if I'm not wrong), singing, and I ignore her actual occupation.

http://www.94fm.com.br/files/images/sheila%20mello%20sexy2.jpg


4. Mulher Melancia (Watermellon Girl)
The name is self explanatory. She has a watermellon on her backwards. She was a supporting dancer for a funk singer, with sexist lyrics. Not funk as James Brown used to sing, but a song that looks like a jackhammer being operated while you babble misspelled words, rhyming words like love and above. Easy rhymes. Awful lyrics. Sexy dancing. Catchy for some people, but an insult to my musical taste and brain.
She was photoshopped for a Playboy issue.
Like her, we have the Strawberry Girl, Mellon Girl, and some other girls.

http://ego.globo.com/Entretenimento/Ego/foto/0,,12905142,00.jpg


Gretchen
She is maybe the first one in Brazil to do the butt dance. When I was a kid, back in the 80's, I loved to see her on TV, you know... the hormonal stuff.
She used to mix French and Portuguese on the lyrics to give the songs a sex appeal. Now she's over 60, looking younger than when she was on the beginning of her career, took shots for a Brazilan nude magazine, made a porn movie with her husband. (yes! old like my grandma, hot as hell and making porn movies.) She's still singing in 80's themed clubs.

Her daughter is also a wannabe who had her nude magazine issue, then turned lesbian and starred an nude magazine issue with her girlfriend. Don't know where they are now.

Gretchen in the 80's
http://blogs.diariodonordeste.com.br/roberto/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/gretchen.jpg
http://odia.terra.com.br/blog/miltoncunha/images/Gretchen%20Blog.jpg

Gretchen now
http://i89.photobucket.com/albums/k224/Nickita_bucket/gretchen.jpg


It's just the visible part of an iceberg, greater than that wich sank the Titanic. I could write down and show 10 girls each day, and in a year I would not show all the "15 minutes famous" girls, who now beg for the cameras, struggle to be on the cover of the gossip magazines and this sort of thing.

Not mentioning the flash celebrities coming from the Big Brother reality shows. We have had 8 seasons, I think. Multiply it for 10 or 12 girls per season and you get the situation.
And, thanks to God, I'm not aware of what happened in the BB house and still don't know who they are. Except maybe for some girls from the 2 first seasons, that I watched some episodes.
But, in the end, almost the same. Nude pics for magazines, TV shows, actress or singer career... The same bullshit.

Oh yes, there are links for footage on Youtube, but I think I would give her more fame than they deserve, but I gan gather some footage if you want.

said Leonardo Carvalho on September 9, 2008 8:45 AM.

Is it something I should be proud of if I only recognize a few of these people? On one hand I feel hopelessly out of "the loop" (whatever that means), but on the other hand I apparently haven't been wasting my time and attention on the gossip circuit.

said Bile on September 11, 2008 5:47 PM.

Bile, you should be proud.

said Baierman on September 11, 2008 6:12 PM.
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