Jeez... Baierman - don't give Dave any ideas. He's already plotting Pussy Two-Face's demise.

Its not that I don't like animals, I just don't like that mutate crap. It kind of freaks me out.
I guess being completely honest, I don't care for cats, so you get a two face puss and I would just as well kill that nasty thing.
poooouuauaaahh!

When I was a kid, I found a two-headed monster in my mom's dresser drawer. When I showed it to her, she screamed and sent me to my room.

Sometimes my Aunt Bertha would come over and they would play with it for hours.

Mom died a few years ago, but I think the monster is still in the family. I'll have to ask my sister ...

Of course, I can in no way prove the previous story to be factual.

I believe that story. I want to believe.

I just read on another site that the two-headed turtle has been stolen from the pet store..

Stolen? Looks like a job for Night Cobra.

Tim you just made me laugh so hard I almost woke my son from his nap.

This one looks much cooler than the cat.

Damn Tim, I think this two headed turtle story may have tapped into some deep baggage that we may have not wanted to tap into.
It's Ok buddy, we are here for you.

I'm okay with him tapping into those feelings here. Where he can get it all out and move on with his life. I'll bet that guy in Canada had a two-headed monster in his room that he never talked about, and now look. He cut some poor dude's head off on the Greyhound Bus for no reason...and started eating it.

Let it out Tim. I'm with Dave, we are here for you... and it's not your fault...and we love you...

Stolen?!?

I'm on it. To the Night Cobra headquarters...

Thanks for all the love, man. That's why I hang out here.

UPDATE!

I called sis. After a thorough search, it appears that the two-headed monster has escaped!

I'll keep you posted.

JW, I can use some help. Can I tap your resources?

I shall watch the night sky for the signal.

UPDATE!

Crisis averted. The family heirloom has been located. My sister found it at my brother's house.

Wait! What?!?

My sister just called to let me know that we will be having a family intervention at my brother's house later this evening.

I'll keep you posted.

Tim-
I'm glad you found the family heirloom. I don't think that you would have liked the Night Corndog and his Metrosexual sidekick The Colorado Pinx getting their hands on that two headed monster.
You'd never it back.

Good luck at the intervention. Unfortunately I will not be there to support you and your family.

Tim - "Heirloom"? "Monster"? "Family intervention"? "Aunt Bertha playing with it for hours"??

ummmm... you wouldn't happen to fancy bus travel, would you? Might I suggest Charter as a starting point to recovery?

And please don't forget. We love you. We're your FRIENDS. Being deathly afraid of you has nothing to do with my being nice. Honest. If you don't get help at Charter, please, get help somewhere.

[LC - we're gonna need a background check....]

Dave -

Thanks for the thoughts, man.

On a side note, I did get some very strange 'anonymous' inquiries as to the availability of said heirloom. They were direct, simply-stated and signed, 'sarcastic one'.

Any ideas?

Tim

I don't know buddy. There is a little mystery with the Sarcastic one. I am waiting for a gender confirmation.
After getting it wrong with CLC08, I have realised that I just cant trust my assumptions.
At one point and time I though I could lock things down pretty good.
I don't know I may be loosing my touch.

Dave / Tim - I'm over here laughing my ass off!! It's like you guys are both trying not to end up in the final scene of "Cry Freedom" - PRICELESS!!!

my bad... I meant "The Crying Game"

Number 1- I don't think that I've ever watched the Crying Game. Is that messed up that I haven't ?????

Uhhhh... I wouldn't say it's 'messed up' per se, but you probably shouldn't have revealed that information on a website.

Okay, just kidding (sort of).

Tell you what... Google it. YouTube it. Or perhaps some of our enlightened readers will tell you all about it. I don't want to take all the fun out of this moment.

I guess I'm just not in to gay porn.
And don't call me perse.

Sorry Perse, is 'Surely' better?

And I wouldn't call it "gay porn". It's more like a serious plot twist. A cliff-hanger maybe? It's intense drama with a bang... or a wang.

I guess I'll have to watch it.
I wonder if I have seen it.
I bet I have but it's been a long time.
There is a stretch from 91-94 that is pretty fricken blurry to me.
Damn I'm feeling old today.

It happens Dave. Just don't do anything stupid like veto all beer, like some other 'old' person I know.

That gives me an idea,
Let's divulge ages.
Who's in????

Aw shit. First you wanted names, then ages...what's next? Mother's maiden name and place of birth? Do you think we're all fucking STUPID Dave?!?! You don't think I see what's going on here?...DAVE?!?! Do you take me for some kind of fucking fool here Dave?

Just kidding dude - I couldn't avoid the temptation. Please don't fire me.

As you can tell, I'm really a mature 34 year old.

Let's do it better Lets not divulge ages lets guess ages.
Just make a list with your numbers. (don't guess on your own of course.)
1. CLC08
2. Tim
3. etantao
4.Dave
5. sarcastic one
6.E
7.Do Not Swayze Bro
8.Leonardo Carvalho

Damn, I posted that too late!

hahaha - you put DSB's full name. Nice.

Alright Here goes my Gueses-
1.a really mature 34
2. 35
3. 37
4.ONly known to a pack of Artic wOlves
5. 32
6. 31
7. 58
8. 35

Here's mine:

1.

2. 35
3. 31
4. 35
5. Too soon to tell. I'll go on a limb here and say 29.
6. 36
7. Scared to guess and it's incorrect - and he's gonna kick your ass Dave.
8. 33

I'll bet I'm pretty close on Do Not's age.
He's just too wise.

Thanks for the kindness on my age. You are way off!!!!!

I'm a politician dude. I'm supposed to be kind on ages.

I guess my age depends.
I told Chris Hanson with Dateline NBC that I was 17 once.

Just jokin.... COME ON THAT Chris Hannson comment was funny!

That's one of my favorite shows. It is pure comedy.

As a disclaimer, I would like to make the positively serious statement that I do support full castration of any sex offender.
I believe that Adult predators are sick and I would happily snap the neck of anyone guilty of doing such wicked horrible thing.

I'm Dave and I approve this message.

I'm Johnny Wright and I approve Dave's approval of that message.

Hope it all goes well at the intervention Tim. I too are your friend. *backs away*

1- 24
2- 33
3-
4- i gonna say 42
5- sorry but i'm not sure who's the sarcastic one. gonna guess over 18
6- 35
7- 37
8- 31

Wow--dragging me into it when I hadn't read beyond the initial story...you guys are fun...
and you both underguessed my age--I AM voting for you...Write in votes are the best!

new slogan--"Vote for Dave--he was raised by Wolves!"

(we might need that background with the new Russia in front of us)

(I'm 34--born late '73)

Tim, I'm sorry--I can't afford the asking price on the monster...a first edition Adam and Eve is rare, but I can't justify the purchase at the moment...

wait til after the Olympics Phelp-athon is over and check back....I might be more interested then....

My age has been overshot twice now. 42 Come On that's like Johnny's age!

Sorry I haven't been able to keep up with everything this afternoon, gang. It was a three hour drive over to my brother's house. I noticed that there are quite a number of posts, but it's hard to get reliable service out here in Junction City. I'll read through everything later when I return home and respond accordingly. We're still waiting for my brother to arrive.

Talk amongst the group here seems to be light-hearted for now. Sis brought some pizza and we're going to watch a movie before any discusion begins. Aunt Bertha brought The Crying Game; which I've never heard of. Dad says it's the perfect movie to start off the evening.

Thanks for all the support. I'll follow with an update later ...

Tim

maybe if you hung out with someone other than arctic wolves we could guess....

but 42 will make it easier to get elected....

How dare you Dave. How dare you.

Johnny, it's okay...every girl knows that being with a42 yr old man is like being with two 21 yr boys...

that was supposed to be "a 42", not "a42" before someone calls me on it...

I think there's a compliment in there some place. But I'm only two 16-year-olds. I'm in my prime.

Thanks for the support sarcastic one.

J-Dub finally a rise out of the old timer.
Iv'e been trying to get ya mad for a week and a little age crack did it!
Thats good to know. Good to know my friend.

My mission is accomplished. I'm going home.

I love you all.

Dave

OK, here it goes folks. I believe the lottery will fall as follows:

1. She says she’s 34, so I’ll guess 39
2. ?
3. 32
4. 38
5. She says she’s 34, so I’ll guess 39
6. 32
7. Either 52, 46 or 14; not sure which. I need to trace his IP address to determine his location in the house. If he is in the basement, he is 14. First floor, he is 52. Second floor, he is 46.
8. 29

Tim

UDPATE!

Well, I’m glad that’s over. What a nightmare! I’d never been to an intervention before, so I really didn’t know what to expect.

In attendance –

My brother, Pat
My Dad, Pat
Grandpa Pat
Grandma Sam
My sister, Thelma Louise and her pussy Willow
My cousin Jessup
My cousin Maria Juanita Conchita Margarita de los Huevos
Uncle Burt – Aunt Bertha’s husband. Aunt Bertha was with us while waiting for my brother, but disappeared right before Uncle Burt arrived.
Li’l Jimmy – I have no idea who he is, but he brought some Slim Jims and a banjo. He came with Uncle Burt.

And, of course, myself.

The evening started out well. My brother had been at work all day, so he was surprised to see us all gathered outside his house when he arrived. Due to the forethought of my sister and Aunt Bertha, we had the perfect cover. With pizza and movie in hand, we went inside for a nice evening of family bonding.

We setup a few more lawn chairs in the living room and opened the good paper plates. Dad brought some Ale81. We started the movie and dug in. The pizza went fast; though it tasted strange to me. I asked my sister what was on it and she said it was ‘a Combo’. I asked what was on the ‘Combo’ and she replied that it was just ‘a Combo’. Dad told me to just keep quiet.

Things were going well. The conversation was light; we were watching the movie and enjoying our Slim Jims. Grandpa doesn’t have any teeth, though, so he was sucking on it rather than chewing. I found it annoying and yelled in his good ear to stop sucking on his beef. Dad remarked that it was too late for that, and told me to just keep quiet.

Li’l Jimmy finished his jerky first, then set out to play his banjo. I found this irritating, as I was really starting to get into the plot of the movie. He just kept on:

{banjo playing}
Li’l Jimmy: “Hey Timmy, you ever sawr that thar ‘Deliverance’ movie?”
{more banjo playing}
Me: “No, Jimmy, I haven’t seen it.”
{more banjo playing}
Li’l Jimmy: “Hee. Heeee. Hee. Heee. Heeeeee.”
{more banjo playing}

Same thing. Over and over again.

After about 10 minutes of this, I couldn’t take it anymore. I lost it. I stopped the movie, walked over to L’il Jimmy and dumped out the barbeque Corn Nuts Grandma Sam had been tossing into his tip jar at each banjo refrain. He was visibly shaken, and madder than a one-legged man at a triple-jump contest.

“Why dudn’t ‘ye tell Patty wut yur rilly here ‘fer?”, L’il Jimmy wept. He cursed us for cowardice, took his banjo and left. Uncle Burt followed. He told us he had to leave because he was L’il Jimmy’s ride, and then gave a strange wink. He took some Ale81, moved the Lynyrd Skynyrd tapestry to the side, and went out the front door.

The Slim Jims remained. Dad had put them in his hollow leg to protect them in anticipation of the pending melee. But now, the cat was out of the bag.

We caught the cat, put it back in the bag, and told Pat why we were really there. He was pissed as hell. Things went downhill from that point. There was so much cursing, spitting and bitch-slapping, we finally had to ask grandma to leave. There’s no excuse for that kind of violence. We can never get anything accomplished with her around.

Grandpa Pat pulled the double-wide around front and we wheeled Grandma Sam up the ramp, arms still flailing at us … Corn Nuts flying everywhere. Now inside, we strapped her down, tossed the remaining Corn Nuts inside and sent them on their way.

The evening was going downhill fast. Thelma Louise had had enough. She called us all back into the family/living/bedroom, pulled the two-headed monster out from under her lawnchair pad and slammed it down on the picnic table. It vibrated off the table and fell to the floor with a thud. Thelma Louise picked it up with both hands, turned it off and placed the family heirloom back on the table.

“Why, why do you have this?” she asked my brother.
“How did you get that?” he demanded to know of her.

The details of family debauchery that followed were mind-numbing. I was more confused than Dick Clark at an Insane Clown Posse afterparty. When the fighting and name-calling subsided, my sister was a wreck. My brother was still somewhat composed.

“So, dear brother”, Pat said to me, “Let me ask you this. How’d Thelma Louise know to look in my house for Dill Dee?” (Side note: Apparently, the two-headed monster has a name. I was not aware of this fact.)

He had a point. I was stunned. How did she know? I looked to my sister. She was sweating and shaking like a Chinese gymnastics coach at an age verification audit. In a calm manner, I asked her,

“How DID you know, Thelma Louise?”

She took my hand and led me outside into the backyard, past three generations of Old Chevrolets, to the shed/outhouse. Upon opening the door, I couldn’t believe the smell. It reminded me of Mom on an early Spring day. Upon opening my eyes, I could see why. Inside was a full movie production studio. Posters of Mom were everywhere. The banner inside declared we were now in the studio of “L’il Jimmy Productions, LLC”. Cousin Jessup and cousin Maria Juanita Conchita Margarita de los Huevos were filming an ‘indie film’ entitled “Ricardo, Ricardo: A Young Man’s Journey From Detroit to Cleveland”. I wanted to explore, but just stood in stunned silence as I watched the beautiful production unfold.

As we watched Ricardo’s journey, Thelma Louise explained to me that the family heirloom was just a small part of an overall family business. In the early days, Aunt Bertha and Mom were the stars, and everyone in the family played a part in the business. After Mom’s passing, my sister took over all the starring roles. The heirloom had mistakenly been left here during one of the production shoots earlier this year.

As the smell of incense and mothballs led us back to the house, Thelma Louise continued to explain the details. It appears that Pat, always jealous of my sister’s starring role in the family business, took the monster for his own ‘personal reasons’. Upon our return, my brother was waiting.

“Why did you hide the monster, Pat?” I asked. Dad told me to just keep quiet.

Suddenly, Thelma Louise became violently ill and began to get dizzy. As she started to fall, Pat and Pat grabbed her so she wouldn’t hit her head. The two-headed monster that she was holding with both hands fell to the floor. While everyone was distracted, I picked up the family heirloom with both hands and hid it in my jacket.

Thelma Louise was a mess. Clearly, she needed some help. I asked her if there was anything I could get for her … some Ale81 perhaps? Dad told me to just keep quiet. He carried her outside and drove her down to the Appalachia County/Jimmy Dean Memorial Hospital and Bowling Center for observation. Dad bowled a 227 while Thelma Louise filled out the admittance forms.

Pat and I said our goodbyes. He explained that the only use he really had for the monster was to attract women. It was rare antique; no longer available. Women could not resist its power. It was a sure thing. He was glad to have it. I told him I understood and hoped there were no hard feelings.

As I turned to leave, my brother spotted Dill Dee in my jacket and grabbed it with both hands. I grabbed it with both hands as well. Like a tug-o-war we went back and forth … I’d pull, he’d pull, I’d pull, and he’d pull. Finally, I wrestled it away, tucked it into my jeans and strutted proudly towards my car. Pat ripped the tapestry door down in frustration as he returned to the house.

On the way home, I stopped at the Junction City Post Office, packaged the family heirloom carefully, and sent it to our beloved compatriot, ‘sarcastic one’. It is safely on its way. My compliments.

A few other things I learned about myself and others during the course of the evening –

1) While I could have been offended at being left out of the family business, there is a reasonable explanation. I couldn’t be trusted with such a critical family secret because I am adopted. This fact will be key to the success of future therapy sessions.

2) My sister is doing fine. It appears that it was some sort of food poisoning; something on the ‘Combo’ pizza. They gave her a case of Ale81 and sent her home.

3) Turns out Aunt Bertha and Uncle Burt are, in fact, the same person. That explains the metrosectomy procedure from a few years back. I never knew what that was. I think I understand now.

3) I need to listen to Dad more often.

4) My cousins Jessup and Maria are not really my cousins. They are black-market movie producers. Apparently, post-surgery Uncle Burt has quite a following south of the Mason-Dixon line.

5) Dill Dee is, in fact, a first generation Adam & Eve. The sarcastic one sure knows her hardware.

6) I wish I could have seen the end of The Crying Game. It really is quite intriguing … the plot really sucks you in. Since I was the last one to leave, I asked my brother if I could take the movie, watch the end of it and return it to Sticky Fingers Rentals for Aunt Bertha. He felt that this was a good idea.

Anyway, thanks for listening folks. It was nice to share it with you. I look forward to your support in my upcoming therapy sessions.

For now, I bid adieu. My wife says she has something that she needs to tell me. After that, I’ll settle in and enjoy the end of the movie.

Tim

Wow Tim, that was quite an intervention. I'm really sorry that I couldn't be there to support you.
I hope that will give you the piece of mind to continue on.

Tim, I started to give you hell about accusing me of lying about my age. After I read your intervention however, my attention was diverted to you and your family. You have a rather large family.

Ummmm... By any chance, are they registered to vote?

I'm 31 years old, actually. I won't go guessing ages, I suck on that. But I think Dave is 33 y/o.

CLC - Sorry I'm joining this conversation too late... I sent some guys to research on Tim... he's fine. A little disturbed, because he found the closet monster in a very tender age and it has screwed up his mind.

Tim - We are here for whatever you need.

Dave - I think that after the intervention, things might be dangerous to Tim. I think that his brother, aunt Bertha and Li'l Jimmy will try to beat the shit out of him to get the monster back. So I'm sending him a couple of body guards just to make sure he'll be safe.

Sarcastic one - I didn't mean to be rude with you before... Hope we had not started with the wrong foot.

Just a thought about this damn turtle.
My grandma has one turtle that loves to sneak behind the table and bite our toes. This one would bite me two toes at once... Hell!!! I hate it!!!!

LC - I believe the monster is en route to Sarcastic One. After the experience the turtle has had however, it may not be a bad idea to test it for ass-crickets. Just for good measure.

Sarcastic One - run him on down to the lab... you know, to be on the safe side. I'm told that ass-cricket infestatioin is a son-of-a-bitch to get rid of.

CLC - Packed and going to the lab.

Sarc.1 - Let us know when the monster arrives and how's the situation. We can send the lab guys to pick it up from your house.

Not to take away from the two eyed monster, but am I the only one concerned about Russia invading Georgia?
Those damn Russians are some sneaky bastards, I wonder about them.

Dave - I'm concerned good buddy. I also know that when you're elected into office, you're gonna put the Cold War Bitch Slap back down on them. It's obvious that they didn't learn their lesson. Get a liiiitle teeeeeeny bump in their economy and this is how they act? Now they get to decide who's in the UN and who isn't? Bullshit! It's not their call. They still don't have their nutts back and they are WAY out of line.

I got your back Dave. ... and you KNOW THIS!!! MAAAAAAAAN!!!

I suggest that everyone go home tonight and watch two movies. The first would be Rocky 4. The second would be Red Dawn.

I want you to pay attention to the last scene of Rocky 4 where Rocky Gives the speach about if he can change and if they can change, then we all can change.

After that scene pull the DVD out, spit on it and throw it in the trash. We changed and they didn't.
Then open up a couple of RedBulls and a Rockstar, and put in Red Dawn.
Pay attention and pay it damn close because what you see in that American town is happening in reality in Georgia.

Let's get our game faces on and keep them on.

WOLVERINES!

I'm concerned too. Not just about the Russians taking over Georgia, but most of all of these wars...
They've been on this since the ending of the USSR, when South Ossetia told they were free from Georgia, and there were lots of "you're mine", "no I'm not", "war this", "war that".
Now the Ossetians want to be Russians, what Georgia disagrees and they've got on the heat again and the Russians are back in history counter attacking Georgia for they had attacked South Ossetia. And as far as I can see, the end is farther than we can imagine.

When it comes to an ending, will start on another of the former Soviet republics in a vicious circle. It's a fact that the Russians didn't like the fall of the iron curtain and what it brought. They will try to get all the power back somehow.

My opinion...

Leo-My South American Friend, Your opinion is always respected.

They can try to get the power back all they want. Put "try" in one hand and shit in the other. Which one will fill faster. It's time for Russia to get their head out of their asses.

Thanks for sharing Tim, you cant find interesting family stories like than anywhere. hope the counseling goes alright.

whohoo i got LC right on the money with 31, i believe I'm the only one so far with a right answer.

I'm not 100% on the Russia-Georgia situation but from what I've seen Russia is acting the fool even after there was supposed end to the hostilities.

Dave,

After the events of the past 24 hours, I'm sure that you can understand why I find it difficult to keep Georgia on my mind.

Much love to all,

Tim

Dave - What I like most here in YBNBY is that we can all stress our arguments and despite being accepted by everyone, our opinions are respected.

It's not that I'm taking the Russian's side, neither the Georgian's. What I really think is that is just like the Mid Eastern issues... Started way before the time that we can count, and will last longer than we will.

No matter how much we concern, how many soldiers the whole world sends to help this or that side. They'll put a break, sign a peace declaration document, make us believe it's just fine to start all over again when we forget what just happened.

Au Contraire Mon Tim!! You may be just the guy to get things cleared out in a timely fashion. You don't have time for the BS, and there's a lot of stuff you can stand to get off your chest. I'd rather you "let it all out" where it would matter, rather than like a Wal-Mart one day when you've absolutely just had enough, and the ass-cricket lady short changes you - and you just...well...snap.

Putin is Old School Russian which bothers me horribly. Hoping that Medvedev would come in and have a clearer view than Putin is a facade. Putin holds all power and will continue to do so for a very long time. Which, in my opinion is not good.
Leo- a little job for your troups. I would like the Russian Foreign minister Sergey Levrow's balls on the end of a sharpened stick. Just because I think he's a douche bag.

On another subject, What the Hell? No one has guessed my age yet. Perhaps that will remain a mystery.

Dave. Wow. Levrow's balls on the end of a sharpened stick? And I thought I was hardcore!

Yeah, I'll bet Putin has a poster of Nikita Khrushchev taped to his closet door, and he kisses it every morning before he puts his lip gloss on.

I'll say you're 33. Are you 33 Dave? You can't be this savvy and not know what it's like to break apart a Rubic's Cube and put it back together (cheat), or play Pitfall or Track and Field on an Atari 2600, and give the visitor the joystick that didn't get used much so you'd have the advantage of a "broken in" joystick with better button action. I just wouldn't belive it.

Dave, we're going to solve your mystery soon... let me try again... maybe 26?

All the guys on the slums around here are applying to join my enforcements... Words are that its a warranty of traveling abroad... You know, those guys never could travel even to the neighbor city.

I'm sending some guys to capture Sergey. I told them to cut the balls when they arrive near your place, so you'll get fresh balls to cook and feed your dog with Russian Cojones. I'll also tell them to ask you the orders for what they'll do with the ball less minister. It's at your will.

CLC - I have tried on 33 before...

Damn - I got nothing. Maybe he'll make his announcement this week and not have the country in suspense like this.

33 no. Wrong again. I will say that I have broken apart a rubiks cube. I will also say that in college, I worked with a nerdy guy who had conquered the cube when he was younger. After obtaining a cube he showed me how to conquer it. I can honestly say that I have conquered the cube twice.
As for the Atari 2600, Man I grew up poor. The closest thing I had to an Atari was a hand-me-down game of Pong with cracked paddles.
With pong we didn't descriminate with paddles, they all worked the same.
Needless to say, my brothers and I didn't play a lot of video games. We made up our own games like "Punch till you bleed" , "Dodge the brick", "Knife Catcher", "Who can hold the match the longest", "Gut shot", "Rock on a Rope",and "Bar o Soap in a Sock" .

Good Guess though.

Now that I think about it, when is this little shindig over? And what are the prizes?

CLC - It's like all those TV shows that deal with familiar issues and so.

They start the show with someone telling that he/she has a secret to reveal to the family. If you're watching (total waste of time) and you are lucky, they tell the secret in the very ending of the show. But if the audience rates are high, they'll say that they're sorry, time is over, but tomorrow they'll open the Pandora's box.

Oh Dave... please, don't do that with us...

hmmmm..."worked with a guy who had conquered the cube when he was younger", huh?

You're 30. You CAN'T be any younger than 30!

I dunno gang. I don't want to see people suffer, and am more than willing to do something to help keep the Georgians out of harms way, but I generally agree with LC on this one.

The fundamental problem here is really no different than the problem in the Middle East. Two sides whose ideologies are so different that they hate one another with insatiable passion. They will spend the rest of time with the primary objective of ridding the earth of their enemy. Having done so, they will move on to another.

Do we leave Putin be? No, but we need to continue the Cold War approach to dealing with him. If Russia hadn't suffered the economic hardship of the 1990's, my guess is that Putin wouldn't have been so well-accepted.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to return a movie to the store. Surprise ending, my ass. Thanks for the gay porn, folks.

No, I'm Not 30. This is kind of fun. I am worried that this will turn into just throwing random numbers out. So for me to either confirm or deny I will need a full disclosure of your hypothesis along with an age.
I think J-dub is the only one who knows my age.

I'm upping the ante, gang. I say Dave is 43. His comments to JW yesterday were just a ruse to get a reaction.

Tim

P.S. Nobody is close to my age yet. The clues have been there all along. Baierman probably has a pretty good idea.

84 comments on a two-headed turtle story? What is this, fark.com?

You ppl are crazy.

Speaking of the damn turtle, I wonder if somebody just stuffed a couple of the little guys into one shell??

Scaramouche, good to have you back you commy BriTT!
Iv'e missed you.

Love Dave

We like animals!

Scar -

Baierman did his job and reclaimed the hijacked thread with his comment there at the end. It didn't really inspire anything. but we took our firepower and moved elsewhere.

Perhaps if we had somewhere to play this wouldn't happen. Just a thought.

Your loyal patron,

Tim

... and the yellow has been lifted here at YBNBY. We're back under GREEN!

Yes everyone you can email me at:

iswearimnotyourdaddy@yahoo.com

Or my personal blog page is:
IAin'tyourdadyoulittlebastards.blogspot.com

Does anyone have any personal web pages?

Email me and I will give you my age..

Just Jokin'

whew....
I missed so much today...
1) I'm going to buy a haz mat suit so I can wear it when the monster arrives. No offense Tim, but I don't want to catch the crazy that your extended family has smeared all over it....
I think it needs its own special display case in the Sex Toy Hall of Fame...or Britney's love dungeon....

(and no, I'm not 39....why would I lie about my age when I'm obviously among those who are in my "oh my god we're leaving the target demographic 18-34 age group"?)(I'll prove it to you--I was in 7th grade when the Challenger exploded, 8th grade when the Mets won their World Series and 8th/9th grade when Bon Jovi was huge)
(This year's entering college freshmen were born the year I started my senior year of HS)

Dave, it looks like you're gunning to be pegged at 29. But let me remind you, you must be 35 to be President...I don't want YBNBY to have any Chinese gymnastics/government newspaper trails--so to me, you will always be 35 1/2 yrs old.
And you know about both Rocky 4 and RedDawn....life experience has taught me that you can't be in your 20s and know about these...unless you saw them on You Tube.
Only a child of the Cold War could express that kind of hatred....

Wow... just wow...

Sarcastic One -

Sorry, babe. I got the package back today - marked 'insufficient funds'. As it turns out, the USPS charges additional fees for oblong packages. I was not aware of this when I originally purchased postage and carefully gave the package to the postal carrier with both hands.

Based on your concerns, the hierloom has been thoroughly cleaned. My friends, Bunny and Mandy, gave it a good bubble bath earlier today. I took pictures.

Using both hands, I have re-packaged the package in a new package, and included pictures (well, copies) for your perusal and peace of mind. Earlier this evening, I took the parcel to the post office where the postage was verified, the package was accepted by the clerk with both hands, and it is now safely on its way to you.

Sorry for the delay.