All this talk about my girlfriend sleeping with other people has gotten to me. The images I have in my head are unpleasant, to say nothing of those involving Lindsey and Ted, Bob, etc... It's eating away at me the longer she's gone. And so, with nothing else to lose, I'm headed out to the Pacific Northwest and I'm reclaiming what was once mine.
Last I heard, Lindsey had made her way from Portland, OR to Seattle, WA, the home town of our Johnny Wright. (Who has given me a great self-made "where to beat people up in Seattle" booklet.) No doubt Lindsey hung out at each rest stop along I-5 between Portland and Seattle, turning tricks to support her Crystal Meth addiction*. I know what you're thinking. "Yeah, sure Echo, you're really going out to Seattle to get her back. You don't have the cojones."
Well I am and I do. Still need convincing? Let me drop this little brain nugget on you...
That's my e-ticket for my flight on Sunday. I told you I was serious. I'll be gone all next week, perhaps longer depending on the amount of ass beating I need to hand out. (It won't be more than two weeks as I'll surely need to come back for a haircut.)
While I'm gone, I think it would be in your best interest to go back and read some of my older posts. Get a quick Echowood refresher.
*This is purely speculative. As far as I know, Lindsey is not addicted to Crystal Meth. Though, she does purchase a lot of Sudafed.
Well I am and I do. Still need convincing? Let me drop this little brain nugget on you...
That's my e-ticket for my flight on Sunday. I told you I was serious. I'll be gone all next week, perhaps longer depending on the amount of ass beating I need to hand out. (It won't be more than two weeks as I'll surely need to come back for a haircut.)While I'm gone, I think it would be in your best interest to go back and read some of my older posts. Get a quick Echowood refresher.
- Dropping Knowledge Since '79
- Women in the Workplace in 1943
- You Show Me Yours: Kids
- Top Ten Ways to an Entourage Lifestyle
- Resistance: Fall of Echowood
- Worst Lyrics ... Ever!
*This is purely speculative. As far as I know, Lindsey is not addicted to Crystal Meth. Though, she does purchase a lot of Sudafed.
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Even though I'm on your stinky little Shit List, I'm still wishing you the best of luck. It takes a special person to travel such a great distance knowing that the woman you love could be turning tricks in the back of Starbucks for some meth. The fact that your love is so deep, that getting your teeth punched out by some dude named Ted isn't even an issue - just makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.
God speed my friend.
...or you can just give up and hang out at Bumbershoot this weekend. Death Cab for Cutie headlines on monday!
Well, as CLC said... even being shit listed I hope you succeed on taking her back. When we love someone we go wherever it takes, even to the gates of the hell, just to make sure we can bring this loved one back with us.
I just hope that she's not looking like Amy Winehouse, since you think she might be in Crystal Meth, and turning tricks to afford the crystals... one thing leads to another, and then you know...
But I'm pretty sure she's not this bad.
Don't worry about Bob. That's a Battery Operated Boyfriend. No threat. Well, not much.
But don't worry about Ted, either.
I can understand your interest in taking out Bob and Ted, but go easy on Alice.
Anyone? too obscure?
Tim, you just dated yourself again my friend. Very good movie, BTW.
Any woman who has such terrible taste in bed linens and would require her beau to fly across country to "win" her back... What are you really winning here guy? I'm hoping that most of this is just tongue in cheek humor (because it's too disturbing to think it isn't) but if any sense of mistrust has you jetsetting out to "beat up" whatever guy she's currently blowing in a stall in the men's room, maybe it's time to sit back and have a good think about whom and what you're actually dating there buddy.
Base metals tarnish... Gold does not.
If you love someone, set them free, if they catch some nasty STD, stick to BJ's until you find someone else and then start an argument about where the Spaghetti-O's went and dump the lil' tramp. I think Sting said that.
Godspeed my friend, and don't forget, that Stewardess may be hot, but with your over-active imagination it's not wise to date someone who travels so much. Jus' sayin'. If it does come to fisticuffs, don't be talking when it's time for fighting. Headbutt the guy in the nose while he's still bragging and talking and he's going to have a hard time seeing or breathing. He who hits first generally wins.
Oh, and let me know if Lindsey ever visits the south, maybe she and I can get some drinks sometime.
God Speed Echo, And punch him in the dick for all of us!
what makes you so certain?
LostInDaJungle - I just shot coffee thru my nose (again)!! Just a bit of advice: She may not be the kind of chick that you want to have drinks with either if you think about it. Anyone with a potential to give a 'nasty' STD, is probably someone you should steer clear of. I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life or anything, I just don't want you to end up pissing out battery acid. It's not good for the environment either.
Echo - A nasty STD is much worse than a regular old STD...something that you should definitely take into consideration. Make sure you're sure, because you've got a lot on the line here. Please keep the following in mind:
- You've got "Pimp-a-Licious Teddy" who'll probably stab you in the eye with his long, coke-nail pinky finger, for trying to take his main chicken out of the coop. Of course you'll have to defend your honor. You punch him in the dick for Senor Pablo and the rest of us cheering you on.
(As a small measure for added safety, you should make HER choose (old-school street rule - you'll thank me when all of this is over) between you or her daddy. Please don't try to save her. I knew of a superhero once, who tried it but it never worked out.)
- Keep your composure once she chooses, because you'll need to give the 9-1-1 operator your precise location while he's beating her ass. With your one good eye however, this shouldn't be too difficult.
- If she chooses to stay with her daddy, then you should run like hell. Don't look back. Use the time you're running for your life, to reflect, decide where all of this went wrong, learn from your mistakes, and get right with God (you know, in case he catches you).
I'll be quietly cheering you on good buddy.
Please tell Seattle I say hello. And make sure you go to Ivar's Fish & Chips. Directions are in your travel packet I prepared for you. And punch that guy in the penis. (I really hope it isn't one of my cousins.)
JW
Like I said last time - don't skimp on the Tequila.