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Peter Pan Arrested
Pan Arrested.jpgNEVER NEVER LAND -- Notorious troublemaker and rabble-rouser Peter Pan has been arrested on charges of disturbing the peace, disorderly conduct and conspiracy to never grow up. Pan's exact age is not known.

Police Captain James Hook issued the arrest warrant saying, "Peter Pan has consistently shown a brazen disregard for authority. We also know he carries a concealed dagger. And those green tights are just inappropriate."

An all points bulletin has been issued for Pan's alleged accomplice Tinker Bell. Miss Bell is described as a "Blond Caucasian, 3 1/2 inches tall, wearing a lime-green, hip-length dress with a rigid trim, and green slippers with white puffs."

Pan has been tethered inside his cell as he has shown the astounding ability to fly when given a powerful hallucinogenic drug that is known on the street as "Pixie Dust."

A rag-rag group of juvenile delinquents dressed in animal costumes who call their gang "The Lost Boys" attempted to break Pan out of prison. The youths were apprehended by Hook's crew of deputies and were turned over to Child Protective Services.

Pan was denied bail by Judge Harold Smee.

Capt. Hook has denied accusations made by civil rights activist Wendy Darling that the charges against Pan are false and the police force is guilty of corruption.


(You know, I may not have the details of the story exactly right...)

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5 Comments

How many journalists get to start a dateline with "NEVER NEVER LAND"? Funny stuff, man. (Your version, that is -- the real story is kind of a bummer.)

said Jeem on August 15, 2008 11:05 AM.

Cheers, my friend.

The real story is a bit of a bummer.

said Johnny Wright on August 15, 2008 11:12 AM.

A) Peter Panicked.

and

B) I'm pretty sure that I would be a little uneasy standing in county lock-up dressed in a pirate-fairy costume or as Snow White.

said Don't Swayze Bro on August 15, 2008 12:15 PM.

The crackheads at the lock-up must have been freaking out for sure.

Seem like working in Disney resembles being in a chain gang.

i can just imagine Mickey shirtless with a can of gas saying he was burn the caste to the ground.

said etantao on August 16, 2008 6:18 PM.

Douchebagery.

said Jeni Gump on August 20, 2008 12:27 PM.
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