I'm shocked! Shocked, I say, to read that the country bumpkins who said they had a Bigfoot corpse is not real! It looks like this was nothing more than an attempt to plug a dopey website and sell tickets for Sasquatch tracking excursions at $499 bucks a pop.
From The New York Times:
Results from tests on genetic material from alleged remains of Bigfoot, made public at a news conference in Palo Alto held after the claimed discovery swept the Internet, failed to prove the existence of the mythical half-ape and half-human creature. The story was fueled by a photograph of a hairy heap, bearing a close resemblance to a shaggy full-body gorilla costume, stuffed into a container resembling a refrigerator. One of the two samples of DNA said to prove the existence of the Bigfoot came from a human and the other was 96 percent from an opossum, said Curt Nelson, a scientist at the University of Minnesota who performed the analysis.
However, we do have some real Bigfoot news for you. It seems two men found a Sasquatch cub and kept it in their apartment. They named him Christian. When the beast became too big for their flat, they released him into the wild. Would the Bigfoot remember the men when they went to visit him in the woods?
*single tear...*
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I wanted to believe.
I think we all did.
Those in-bred assholes need their asses kicked. I'd pay $499 just to find out which trailer park they live in, and get within striking distance of them.
Okay, not monkey, not ape, but marsupial. Better luck next time.
Still interested in the other 4%. Did the DNA source have a human great-great grandfather? %^O
I say 96% possum, 4% human should be good enough for all of us. After all, it is a commonly known fact that the Sasquatch is, in fact, a possum-human hybrid. It gets its teeth, hair, claws, and hissing abilities from the possum portion, and the bigness and "no tail" trait from the human side.
Skeptics.
Swayze is thinking outside the box, kids.
Hmmmm, it was found in the "hick" portion of the US, where humans mating with possum is not unheard of...
Swayze forgot the obvious inheritance of the "playing dead" ability. Those poor scientists that were examining the "dead body" at the time of the news conference never saw it coming...now they'll never be heard from again...