Sweet. Scaramouch, your check is in the mail.

Congrats CLC!!!

Scara, I was happier than a preist in the boy's choir when I found out I'd be getting this digital gold. Sniff. So very proud as well.

E, you almost killed me now. I'll remember to never read the comments while I'm eating again.

And congratulations #1 and E.

Looks like the bar has been set! Game on!

Well damn, nothing like waking up to a bronze medal in the morning.
Scar, your special shout out meant more to me than any piece of Corey Feldman parafanalia (is that how you spell paraphanalia?). Though I would have felt better if I would have won a boobie prize like a poster of the two Coreys.
I do think that a Scaramouch thong from the YBNBY store would have been appropriate, since the caption was strictly for Scar's entertainment.
I guess I kind of threw it out for J-dub as well.
It's all good.

Paraphernalia, Dave. We have the word in Portuguese too, but instead of ph we use f.

What would you use the 2Coreys poster to? Shoot training? At least I'd be going to use as dart target.

LC, I'd like a Two Corey's poster in my office. Nothing says professional like a poster of the Two Coreys.
Later of course they would be moved to the Oval office.

Well, I can't say too much about it, since I've never watched to the 2coreys show.
But if it's a presidential desire, we're going to get you one life-size Two Coreys poster. Maybe we can stuff them into a glass box, in that traditional two guys position. Back to back, arms crossed, looking smart.

What do you prefer?

I support the life-sized Two-Corey poster. Dave, you should consider campaigning with it. It will help secure the 1985 - 1989 high school drop-out, still-lives-with-mom, I'm-restoring-my-dad's-old-camaro vote.

And we can find a way to (ahem) convince them to join the campaign and stay by your side for your speeches on trailer camps, high school drop-outs reunions, goonies fan clubs.

My guys have a very special way to convince people, saying things like "do you like the way your legs move side by side when your walking?" or "nice smile you have. wanna keep it in your mouth?".

Just a word and you have 'em.

Nothing but the best for our campaigning, right LC? What type of security measures are in place for the good folks who can't tie their shoes, but want to turn me into a Fishdog?

I don't know, I honestly believe that there isn't a person alive that would ever admit to being a Corey Feldman fan. Seriously, he is Douchebaggery at it's best. Even the Cameroe'd Live with mommy and Daddy guys have got to have their limits.
I watched that "Two Corey's" Show once and realised that the only reason a person would watch that show would be to make fun of Feldman. What a fricken Douche.
I honestly would pay a sizeable amount of money for a cage match between Corey Feldman and I.
I would even agree to have my arms and legs duct taped together so I wouldn't have an unfair advantage.

Maybe I'm just mad because I didn't win the DVD.

Leo, you are a dark, dark man.
I like that.

Wow. Dave, Corey Feldman seems to bring the darker side out of you. Good. I'm not alone when I have thoughts of mutilation against Jesse Jackson and my step-mother.

Though you can't see them, my SWAT team is looking back for you. We got 3 of those wide-asses wandering around your place suspiciously.

They're having a nice time eating crackers and drinking water in a room wich floor runs the whole day like a treadmill and the wallpaper has all kinds of food printed on it.

The cherry on the top of the cake... through the bars of the 2 windows, they can see:
- North window: my team having barbecue in the patio every weekend,
East window: the kitchen, where the Brazilian chef I sent keeps cooking almost the wole day long. All the most scented flavorous spiced yummy-yummy food you can think of.

Is that torture enough or do you think my guys could do better?

Jesse Jackson-Now there is a class act.
Perhaps I'll see him in Denver this weekend. Seriously that would be the best birthday present that I could possibly imagine, and it's not even my birthday.
Speaking of Denver
EEEEEEEE---
I need a place to crash and some food.
Why are you ignoring me??????
E?

If you see Jesse in Denver, give him a good old-fashioned wire hanger abortion for me - and create the hole.

E - don't be scared of the media attention Dave may bring. Leo has his best guys covering him.

Leo - Nice work. I am however concerned that the human rights activists will have something to say. Those prison reform folks may start shouting that we're not giving them enough excercise. Can you send a couple of ice cream trucks out there? They don't have to stop or anything, just let the lard-asses chase them a bit. They do need to be active, and unfortunately stuffing your face doesn't burn enough calories.

Have I read blood, mutilation, spanking? Hum-hum... love it!!!

I could do an arrangement.
Dave, you could face both Coreys into the cage, so you would not need to duct tape your arms. By the way, they're under our custody right now. They were easy catch. Feldman was in a theather to promote "his" new movie and Haim was around, waiting to throw some rotten tomatoes on him. 2 birds in one cage.

CLC, see if this arrangement is good enough for you:
I have three of the wide loads who wanted to make a fish dog of you. Jesse Jackson is going to be with us until the end of the day. I need your step mother's address so we can put her and JJ in a octagon match. While they are fighting, my guys will bathe them in barbecue sauce. When the match is almost over -- I'm counting on they two very tired but still alive -- we release the 3 wide loads in the cage.
Remember, they're eating only cracker for 2 weeks long. They are fucking starving.
Bonus: The barbecue sauce is poisoned. They'll drain from their asses until they are as dry as camel's poop in the desert.

Thank you Dave. I knew that my violence disturb would be useful someday.

Leo, you are a sick man.

Also for clarification-I would still need to be duct taped even if both Coreys were in the cage.

Great idea CLC. We'll have ice cream, tex-mex food and fish-dog trucks running all the way. The fat asses will have to deal with the choice of "wich food will I chase today?"...

Have I told that the place were they are is harder to find than the Area 51? If a human rights actvist manage to find it, he will never be found again.

Did I mention that we bought a pig farm? And pigs don't have the habit of leaving leftovers when they eat. And they eat everything. Just for you guys to keep track of how our security team is working...
[insert Dr. Evil's laughter here]

I'd advice you to duct tape one arm only. So, you can use one Corey to hit the other, in alternated turns.

I'm going to lunch. This conversation made me hungry.

Yep, I'm sick, but I learned how to control this instinct, and I use it wisely.
Instead of the old blood bathes times, I plan masterpiece slaughterings now.

Leo Carvalho, our sick twisted little friend.
I have nothing else to say.

I think that he had visited the site previously, and facing the size of the fight he would have, just in an interview, he almost fainted.

Our fault? Well... maybe.

God save the free speech.

I agree with LC. I'd probably bail out too. Oh and thanks for telling me this shit AFTER I posted my picture! Now I've got to make sure he doesn't spit on my order at McDonalds.

I can just see that Douche bag Feldman looking at the picture thinking that all of his fans would step to the plate and give him some badass captions only to find in horror, all of the nasty things said about him.

You all should be ashamed of yourselves.

Thanks for screwing up the interview.

'You' who, Dave?

I should be ashamed of myself? Corey should be ashamed of himself. If it weren't for him, we'd have nothing to post at all. If he was smart, he would have just gone away like Dwayne from "What's Happening". Mr. Feldman brought all of this on himself. Turns out, he wasn't his own worst critic, and sometimes the truth hurts for people who has an ego the size of Texas with a Vanilla Ice fanbase.

Hey now, let's not drag Vanilla into the mix. He didn't do anything to us.

Didn't he???
So why the hell I can't stand listening to the word vanilla or Queen's Under Pressure song? Every time I hear the word or listen to this song, I remember the verse "Vanilla Ice Ice Baby..." and his jerk fuck face shows off in my head! The soulder pillows he used!!! The ramp-like hair!!!! Oh noooooooo!!!

Damn. It hurts my brain. I need my prozac.

Thank you CLC, now I'll spend the rest of the day with that crappy song playing over and over in my head...

Sorry Dave, I'm in a secret undisclosed location during the DNC thingy. It's just a precaution but its not setup for company. I'd say go to the nearest church you find. I'm sure they will give you sanctuary. Watch your bunghole though.

Damn E dont' worry about it I'm just giving you hell.
I'm actually just passing through to Colorad Springs.