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Another Dick Achieves Notoriety

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Why do men who pleasure themselves with inanimate objects do it in public places? Is that part of the allure? A man in Hong Kong was humping a steel bench in a park when he got caught. Not by the police; he got his penis stuck in the round holes that attracted him to the bench in the first place. He called the police himself. The story gets pretty uncomfortable, but they eventually took the guy to the hospital, bench and all.

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23 Comments

I wonder if the guy tried to blame it on sleepwalking. That usually works for me.

said Jeem on August 8, 2008 9:29 AM.

Is this some new insane fetish?

said Baierman on August 8, 2008 9:46 AM.

If you ask me, the bench was asking for it...

said TeaFizz on August 8, 2008 9:56 AM.

PS - Miss C, way to come through with penis related post. Johnny, Echo we're waiting....

said Baierman on August 8, 2008 9:57 AM.

is that covered by insurance?

said ARod on August 8, 2008 10:19 AM.

Any port will do in a storm as they say.

said E on August 8, 2008 10:25 AM.

i knew there was something strange about a guy that always carries as can of WD-40.

said etantao on August 8, 2008 10:41 AM.

This is clearly a job for... Night Cobra!

said ConservaLiberCrat_08 on August 8, 2008 10:57 AM.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to send my sidekick The Colorado Lynx to solve this one. The Olympics are on.

The Night Cobra

said Johnny Wright on August 8, 2008 11:05 AM.

An inmate in my jail did this several years ago. He had to be transported, still attached to a 3' square piece of sheet metal from the bed, to the hospital.

said Outback Jon on August 8, 2008 11:11 AM.

so you got left on the cell by yourself?

sorry had to do it

said etantao on August 8, 2008 11:18 AM.

Outback Jon, best story ever? Perhaps...

JW

said Johnny Wright on August 8, 2008 11:21 AM.

Officer Outback Jon,
I was told that the situation would be confidential. Thanks for ruining my life.

said Dave on August 8, 2008 1:15 PM.

Looking at this again, I think the best part is how many people have come to Pokey's aid. There's 8 or 9 guys gathered trying to help extricate this poor guy's John Thomas. We don't get half that many cops or emergency workers for shootings in New York.

Okay, that might not be right, but you know what I'm saying.

said Johnny Wright on August 8, 2008 6:10 PM.

i especially enjoy all the hard hats and raincoats, the dude wearing a mask, and the random umbrella. THAT'S alot of protection.

said suze on August 8, 2008 8:17 PM.

Drew Pinsky aka Dr Drew wrote a book called Cracked. Its about his experiences as a Dr. In it he said he learned 2 things working in the emergency room:

1. If they were stabbed, and you ask them who did it, they say, "I don't know."

2. If they have something stuck up their butt and you ask them how that happened they say, "I fell on it."

There you go. Now you can be an emergency room Dr. too.

said E on August 8, 2008 8:44 PM.

BTW, Colorado Lynx here. The guy obviously just dropped a quarter, and you know, shit happens. Nothing to see here. Go about your business.

said E on August 8, 2008 8:48 PM.

somebody give this guy a hand please..

said the glove on August 10, 2008 4:15 PM.

That's nothing, I once got a large plastic toy Yoda doll's head stuck in my rectum and I had to go to the ER to get it removed, you should've seen all of the people cracking Star Wars jokes and talking about using the force to remove it.

I did manage to get one sexy nurse to go home with me though, which I thought was cool, but I later discovered she had Herpes.

said Yoda forever on August 11, 2008 5:34 AM.

Men like to stick their anatomy into inanimate objects. My husband told me that one time he cut a hole in a melon so that he could penetrate it. I remember him telling me it wasn't the greatest thing. I think he was embarrassed, because now denies he ever tried this.

I am not embarrassed to admit I tried a carrot and a cucumber for myself, which were rather good. At least it didn't happen in public.

said V on August 11, 2008 7:31 AM.

Tiny dick is tiny

said Levo75 on August 11, 2008 8:40 AM.

I loved the story and the comments. Way to go Pervy McHumpsalot. You get a Darwin Award.

said SquallCloud on August 11, 2008 1:15 PM.

Douchebagery

said Jeni Gump on August 19, 2008 12:38 PM.
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