I cannot imagine any way this is real...

A surfer pops in to the ocean armed with a huge hook baited with half a cow. Then casts it into the drink and ... hold on, have to stop laughing ... a shark grabs the line and drags him through the surf. Like that waterskiing squirrel. Really.



On the minute, mustard-seed-sized chance this is real, it is the coolest thing I have ever seen.

The gaming world is excitedly bracing for a major paradigm shift with next month's release of Spore, the latest brainchild of SimCity mastermind Will Wright. Perhaps the most highly anticipated video game of all time -- it was first mentioned publicly at the Game Developers Conference in 2005 -- Spore will allow players to control the evolution of an entire simulated species, from single cells swimming in cosmic soup, all the way to interstellar-travelling super-beings.

Featuring painstakingly crafted AI and a beyond-accessible user interface, the game promises to be not just fun for traditional Sim enthusiasts, but also a potentially fascinating angle for examining such varied subjects as biology, cosmology, zoology, evolution, cultural anthropology, space travel, and more.

After several release-date delays, Electronic Arts finally wet the public's whistle somewhat with the June release of the Spore Creature Creator. While lacking most of the evolutionary and interactive features of the full game, the Creature Creator nonetheless gave millions of fans plenty to work with in the mean time. Users could play God and create whatever creatures they wanted, even uploading their demo videos to YouTube with a built-in widget. Players were limited only by their imaginations.

So, of course, the first creature everybody made was a giant dick-and-balls.

Here are 10 of the most entertaining.

They're big.

And tall.

And wide.

And made of hard stuff like marble, granite, brick and steel.

Careful, if you rub them to hard they might explode.

We are rapidly approaching the seven year anniversary of one of the darkest days on this great country's history. A day that can still cause me to choke up when I see that horrible footage.

Just thinking of those homemade flyers that were pasted on church fences in my Greenwich Village neighborhood, asking in desperation "Have you seen ____?" makes me upset. It was gutting seeing those flyers. It was horrible hearing the machinery clearing out the rubble at Ground Zero at three in the morning.

The terrorist attacks on September 11th, 2001 changed this country. A country that I love. As the seven years have gone by, and our nation has struggled to maintain a proper course, an obnoxious and vulgar group has continued to recruit believers. Those that believe that the 9/11 attacks were an inside job and an elaborate conspiracy.

Listen carefully: There is not one shred of evidence of a conspiracy.

None. Zero. Zip. Squadush.

I wish to release some of my frustration and dismantle any notion to the contrary.

Mother Nature continues to cook up oddities. In Ohio, a two-faced kitty has been spawned. Four eyes, two noses, one mouth and approximately one adorable.



I'm hoping the kitty can keep it's two personalities in check and not rely on flipping a coin to decide its prey's fate.

I can't tell how happy this has made me this morning.

A short time ago, we brought you videos of cat's pajamas Scottish ukulele player Gus. I'm a big fan. He and I not only share Scottish heritage (Campbell's: Ne Obliviscaris! Forget Not!) but we have an affinity for very similar music. Gus and I exchanged a few emails where we discussed mutual love of punk rock, the blues, Danelectro guitars and Johnny Kidd and the Pirates.

Gus shot me an email this morning saying the latest video was up. His sweet version of The Ramones I Can't Give You Anything. Take a look at his attire. Gus is an honorary member of The Loyal 77.



That's what I'm talking about. Cheers Gus. Keep on rockin' in the free world.

(See the original Ramones version here.)

This satanic individual from reality TV hell goes by the name Mary Murphy. She has the loudest, most annoying, most ridiculous scream you will ever hear.

The kind that can still be heard when the TV's on mute.

The kind that can cripple a child's muscular functions and make your ears bleed.

What's most offensive however, is that she milks the shit out of it. She screams just to scream. Each one must top the next.

I had the displeasure of hearing her witch's cackle at a bar I was in last night. I wasn't the only one who stared strangely at the TV over the bar. Clearly others were thinking what I was: "Is someone being raped? Should I call the police?"

Turns out the scream is just part of Mary's repertoire for repulsion. She has a catch phrase too. When the dancers on her show do well, she invites them to join "her hot tamale train."

If I just made you gag, I'm sorry. Blame Mary.

Wait don't, she'd probably like that.

From the Sports Desk...

This story had progressed beyond absurd into the surreal. As many of us slept last night, Brett Favre was traded to the New York Jets for a draft pick. (Exact terms of the deal are not yet released, but it's rumored to be a conditional 4th rounder.)

As far as this working, I'll give it an 11% chance. When diva-like Brett starts forcing balls and racking up picks and the Post and Daily News run FAVRE FLOPS headlines, we'll see this ride off the rails. The Green Bay media treated Favre like Mickey Mantle. The snarky and bitchy Gotham press will be ready to pounce when #4 starts screwing up. Favre will not be able to handle it.

What should have happened, is Favre retired with dignity, riding into the sunset as an NFL immortal. Along with Walter Payton, John Elway and Barry Sanders. Instead, he is now a punch-line for late night comedians. This isn't going to work.

As is true with most things, I was a bit late coming to the party on this one. Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog is what happens when a bunch of talented people with some time to kill create a super-villain/musical hybrid outside the constraints of a studio. It's funny, it's entertaining, and it's further proof that Neil Patrick Harris might be the greatest actor of our generation. (Yes, I'm including Johnny Depp, Heath Ledger, and David Spade in that count.) For those of you in the United States, the Hulu version of the film is embedded after the jump.