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The World Series? Nah. The Super Bowl? Crap. NBA Finals? Why bother.
This is the one sports and moustache fans around the world have been itching to see.

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The World Beard and Moustache Championships is back!

The World Beard and Moustache Championships will return to North America for the second time in its history when the City of Anchorage, Alaska rolls out the red carpet for the world's bearded elite on May 23, 2009. The host for this event is the South Central Alaska Beard and Moustache Club which is committed to making the WBMC 2009 the biggest and best ever.

They better because Team USA Beard will be defending the 5 first place trophies it won in the 2007 World Championships. Our team is strong, hairy and real winners, as you'll soon see...

Hair we grow with the USA team. Granted, they could all be the same person with a really good make up artist, but play along will you...


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L.A.'s Alex Antebi was crowned world champ in the Imperial Moustache division. And he wonders why he still can't get a date. Just look at him. Is he a magician, hippie, greek diner bus boy or air to the throne of Norway?


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Seattle's Keith Haubrich (aka Gandhi Jones) was crowned world champ in the Freestyle Moustache division. A black belt in Karate, Keith's stache is registered a lethal weapon in the state of Maine. He credits his cat Whiskers for inspiring his look. As for the Gandhi nickname, you got me.


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Marty Gehringer took home a world championship in the goatee natural division. His hat however earned him a lifetime ban from France.


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The pride of Olympia, Washington, the Great Burke Kenny took top honors in the full beard, styled mustache category. Later that day he scared the living crap out of Ms. Flaster's 2nd grade class and was arrested for stealing Slash's hat and Rob Zombie's look.


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Jack Passion can rightfully claim to be the current world beard champion, having taken first place in the full beard natural category, the most competitive category of all. He can also rightfully claim to have the world record for beard caugh in a blender mishaps. In his spare time Zach roadies and is a stand in for ZZ Top.


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George Haskins' fish-hook shaped mega-mustache wouldn't qualify only for the freestyle category, so he left his job dealing poker in Deadwood, straightened it out and entered the English mustache division. This move was strategic brilliance as George took second place.
Let that be a lesson to all you losers who complain about coming close but never winning. Straighten things up and you'll take home the silver.


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Jeff Well is no stranger to the podium, he was crowned world champ in the Dali moustache category in Carson City in 2003, took third in the same category in Berlin, repeated his third place finish in Brighton. And is really University of Pittsburgh coach Dave Wannstedt in disguise. In the off-season, Dave, I mean Jeff, plays an Axis soldier in World War II action films.


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Pablo Hagen attended his first World Beard and Moustache Championships in Brighton in 2007. Straight off the set of City Slickers 3: Cow Pie, he took second place in the partial beard natural category. Note: If you ever meet Pablo, never infer that his beard is weave-enhanced. He'll curb your punk ass.


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Alessandro Sicco, hails from Italy but got his green card thanks to a generous donation to the Bush Presidential Library Annex. Alessandro originally came to the US to become the lead singer of Pantera, but a chance encounter with a beard trimmer set his life on the path to bearded glory.


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David Traver's huge, full beard won him the world championship in the full beard natural category and third-place overall at the WBMC 2003 in Carson City. A successful beard champion, Dave's won the title of Mr. Fur Face 4 times. Mr. Grizzly Adams 6 times. Been Santa Claus of the Year twice. And is nicknamed "Egg Man" cause his breakfast usually stays on his face all day.


That's the team as they stand today. Stay up to date with Team USA's growth at their home site. And if you're interested in competing, this celebration of facial hair is open to everyone.


Lastly, for more YBNBY stache related content, ask Johnny.

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6 Comments

I think YBNBY should sponsor Johnny and send him as a competitor with his pervstache.
I think he would at least win an honorable mention.

said Dave on July 9, 2008 3:49 PM.

I could be placed on a full ride moustache scholarship.

said Johnny Wright on July 9, 2008 3:54 PM.

Which category J? Since pervstache isn't sanctioned, as of yet.

said Baierman on July 9, 2008 9:40 PM.

As of yet, that is the key. I'm going to break the pervestache barrier.

said Johnny Wright on July 10, 2008 3:13 AM.

i thought that allesandro was that even stevens guy.....

said notjohndoe2 on July 10, 2008 4:18 PM.

jvurdhfb xkgfd jeuiwqhyo rlgcwmju symndkg sdqgxpawr hxuilg

said xjqgalnw dfoe on September 28, 2008 10:16 AM.
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