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Teddy Babes


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Today's Bizarre Online Offering comes care of Teddy Babes - nearly life size plush dolls for "boys too BIG for Teddy Bears". The all-caps on BIG is their copy, not mine. I think it's some kind of 'large penis" reference, which therefore means, "these are for you if poor old Teddy Ruxpin is too tight a fit".

Some abbreviated highlights from the entertaining FAQ:

Q: What are her breasts like?
A: Teddy Babe's breasts are full and soft. The nipples are made of the same velvety plush material and are soft and kissable.

Q: What is her butt like?
A: Teddy Babe's rear-end is round and sexy. It's very squeezable and "spankable."

Q: Can I pose my Teddy Babe?
A: Yes. Her fingers also contain bendable wires that allow her to make different gestures and to hold certain objects.

Q: Will a Teddy Babe stand erect on its own?
A: Not really.

Q: How big is a Teddy Babe?
A: Compared to most love dolls, a Teddy Babe is relatively petite, approximately 4 feet from head to toe, and weighing less than 10 pounds. Itcan fit into a reasonably sized suitcase.

Q: So, I can have sex with my Teddy Babe love doll?
A: Each Teddy Babe love doll has a plush vagina, complete with simulated pubic hair and an ultra-silky plush insert, which we affectionately refer to as "Pussy Velour."

Q: Is the plush insert leak resistant?
A:To an extent, yes. Some dampness may seep through.

"Pussy Velour" - my new favorite Bond Girl name. No word on whether or not these things Twitter.

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5 Comments

Reading the info on their site I found it as expensive as a real girl, but, each one has its advantages...
For those who want just casual sex, no commitment, maybe it's a solution, by spending 700 bucks at first, and then buying the replacements and maintenance items when needed. No arguing, no headaches, no periods, no phone bills, not even douchebag friends.
But depending on how many times you want to 'date' your doll, it may be more expensive than the real deal. Plus, you might look like a weirdo to your friends... "Wanna go for a beer?" - "No, I'll have some quality time with Akiko... she's feeling lonely and asked me to spend the night together with her..."
Creepy...

In the other hand, meeting a real girl can be costless, and if you are in the standard human being group, will like to see that your partner answers to your questions, and start conversations herself.
May have bad days, maybe she's the expensive kind, but, you can hang around with her...
I have no doubt choosing the real girl...

said Leonardo Carvalho on July 7, 2008 2:47 PM.

I just threw up a little...in your mouth.

Sorry about that.

But really, I thought you guys had standards. This is, to use a technical term, totally grody.

said Don't Swayze Bro on July 7, 2008 4:47 PM.

So you pay a bunch to have sex with a 4ft tall toy. Um...yeah. Sounds like you buy this if you're either into midgets or children. Either way, stay the heck away from me!

And: Q: Is the plush insert leak resistant?

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! I think I'm about to throw up all over the keyboard!

said AT on July 8, 2008 10:46 AM.

Sorry, but I think are you guys thinking I'm OK with these freaks?

I've put it by the point of view of someone who would do it, but I'm not one of those.

Ew... I would never f**k a doll... Specially a fluffy one...

said Leonardo Carvalho on July 8, 2008 11:25 AM.

i found the answer to that last question *slightly* more disturbing...

A:To an extent, yes. Some dampness may seep through.

said champvinyl on July 9, 2008 1:41 AM.
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