Today's Bizarre Online Offering comes care of Teddy Babes - nearly life size plush dolls for "boys too BIG for Teddy Bears". The all-caps on BIG is their copy, not mine. I think it's some kind of 'large penis" reference, which therefore means, "these are for you if poor old Teddy Ruxpin is too tight a fit".
Some abbreviated highlights from the entertaining FAQ:
Q: What are her breasts like?
A: Teddy Babe's breasts are full and soft. The nipples are made of the same velvety plush material and are soft and kissable.
Q: What is her butt like?
A: Teddy Babe's rear-end is round and sexy. It's very squeezable and "spankable."
Q: Can I pose my Teddy Babe?
A: Yes. Her fingers also contain bendable wires that allow her to make different gestures and to hold certain objects.
Q: Will a Teddy Babe stand erect on its own?
A: Not really.
Q: How big is a Teddy Babe?
A: Compared to most love dolls, a Teddy Babe is relatively petite, approximately 4 feet from head to toe, and weighing less than 10 pounds. Itcan fit into a reasonably sized suitcase.
Q: So, I can have sex with my Teddy Babe love doll?
A: Each Teddy Babe love doll has a plush vagina, complete with simulated pubic hair and an ultra-silky plush insert, which we affectionately refer to as "Pussy Velour."
Q: Is the plush insert leak resistant?
A:To an extent, yes. Some dampness may seep through.
"Pussy Velour" - my new favorite Bond Girl name. No word on whether or not these things Twitter.