YesButNoButYes: Cindy Sell

You know what it takes to sell tired, dull PVC stripping supplies? Not a bunch of slick salesmen armed with fancy Powerpoint presentations and a set of steak knives.

You need a bombshell named Cindy. (That's marketing rule #1 people. Dull products need hot chicks.)

Here's some insight into pvcstrip.com's brilliance. Pay attention, you just might learn something.

Eyes on the words fellas.

Concentrate. Words. Words. Words Words.

There's plenty of time drool once you help this entry vault to the top of Reedit.

Anyway....

First they hired Cindy and gave her a title that would make her feel important: "sales associate."

Then they put her in a tight tank top, hired the first wedding photographer they could find and had her pose in provocative yet SFW positions in front of their oh-so-boring product line. See the products alone are Yawn. But add Cindy's fine toned skin and suddenly warehouse supervisors everywhere are going "I'll buy that for a dollar!"

Then they made sure that Cindy's present no matter what product the customer looks at. You can see her interacting with the chosen product simply by clicking the reveal button (why enlarge when you can reveal). As a bonus they let people zoom in on her assets.

Next, just for fun, they added a Cindy link and tagged all the photos with a URL so when punks like me stumble on the site, the photos I borrow will always have a link showing. After that the sales just trickle in.

You know, looking over this site for the past 15 minutes has give me some fantastic ideas for remodeling the YBNBY offices...

I got to hand it to the pvcstrip.com marketing department, they know their audience. They made me a believer. In fact on Monday's iChat staff meeting I'm going to recommend we finally replace the blood stained PVC strips that have been hanging outside Scaramouch's office since 2005. Come to think of it Johnny, Echowood, Miss Cellania, and I need some strip curtains to section off our cubicles from each other.

I don't shower much and Echo and Johnny haven't been getting along since they both got ordained. Enough with the fucking sermons boys. You're both more religious then Jessie Jackson and Warren Jeffs. Beside I'm searching for hypnotizing chicken
videos over here and Miss C is busy unloading a stockpile of condoms for profit on ebay.

I need those dock seals. How provocative they are...

Hey, this site can splurge a little. It's Summer. Business is good and page views are up 1.2345678% thanks largely to a pact we made with Zack Synder. So lets splurge and get the home office some colored dock seals for the windows. It would do wonders to block the conflicting stench of the slaughterhouse and meth lab which border us. Blame that toxic mix for my bad math on Cindy McCain's Budweiser stock options. That post was quickly deleted. (Don't worry for our health readers,we'll never trust Evil Rich with real estate decisions again.)

And we definitely need a retractable insect curtain for the lunch room since someone refuses to throw out their jerk chicken from last weeks Thursday brunchfest. (Jellio, we all know it's yours!) And I'm up for whatever barrier, PVC or otherwise, gives us all a little privacy from Raoul's constant badgering for more things to Google than Star Wars monkeys playing darts and singing a capella while having fun with missiles.

Keep your fingers crossed YBNBY fans, if Scara signs off on my purchase order, I'll be on the horn with Cindy by 9:02am and we'll be on the road to plastic nirvana. Hey, I hear she's feeling coy.

Now, back to the skin sell. Here's the vitals on Cindy...

Age: 27
Height: 5' 5"
Weight: 109 lbs.

Eyes: light gray
Hair: blonde
Belly: pierced.

Quote: "When I started working, I never thought I'd be asked to model. This is an exciting change of pace from my regular job and a great opportunity to get close to the product. I hope you appreciate my work here at pvcstrip.com. Let me know."

We just did Cindy.