Monkey News!

This injustice will not stand!

A Springfield Missouri woman is suing the local health department and businesses such as Wal-Mart for discriminating against her 10-year-old bonnet macaque monkey.

Debby Rose insists that her monkey -- whose name is Richard -- is more than a good pal. He is like monkey medicine. Xanax in primate form. You can't take away a woman's primate Xanax you bunch a commies!

Rose says Richard helps curb her debilitating social anxiety disorder -- which can cause her to have panic attacks in public.

Because of the animal's therapeutic effect, Rose says, he is no different than a seeing eye dog.

Her lawsuit contends the Springfield-Greene County Health Department had no authority to decide that Richard is not a service animal under the Americans With Disabilities Act and, therefore, is not allowed in food establishments.

If a therapeutic monkey is not recognized as legitimate medicine, I don't know what kind of country we have become.

God speed Richard, we're with you.