More monkey news for you...

Today a chimp named Ichiro got loose and held zookeepers at bay, at least for a few hours anyway. (Perhaps he was coming to the aid of Debbie Rose's trained monkey Richard?) Ichiro wasn't on the lam for very long, but at least he gave them a run for their money before succumbing to every monkey's weakness: bananas.

Monkey News!

This injustice will not stand!

A Springfield Missouri woman is suing the local health department and businesses such as Wal-Mart for discriminating against her 10-year-old bonnet macaque monkey.

Debby Rose insists that her monkey -- whose name is Richard -- is more than a good pal. He is like monkey medicine. Xanax in primate form. You can't take away a woman's primate Xanax you bunch a commies!

Rose says Richard helps curb her debilitating social anxiety disorder -- which can cause her to have panic attacks in public.

Because of the animal's therapeutic effect, Rose says, he is no different than a seeing eye dog.

Her lawsuit contends the Springfield-Greene County Health Department had no authority to decide that Richard is not a service animal under the Americans With Disabilities Act and, therefore, is not allowed in food establishments.

If a therapeutic monkey is not recognized as legitimate medicine, I don't know what kind of country we have become.

God speed Richard, we're with you.

From the sort-of Sports Desk...

Last night in the WNBA, the ladies took a break from the layups and had a good old fashioned throw-down.

Candace Parker, Cheryl "I Talk Like My Daddy Karl Malone" Ford, Rick Mahorn, Lisa Leslie and Plenette Pierson were all involved. Seriously, her name is Plenette.

LET'S GET IT ON!

Last night New York Yankees relief pitcher Dave Robertson threw only one pitch and got the win. Well done kid. Now you're truly a one-pitch wonder!

A statistical anomaly. A $200 trivia question. Not quite YBNBY sports fans.

Turns out Robertson is not alone in this feat. He's actually the eighth pitcher this season to earn a one-pitch victory.

Wha-wha-wha?

Yes Ms. Broflovski, that's what I said. So lets cheer the other seven one-pitch winners...

#1

On April 10, Jorge Sosa of the Mets retired Pedro Feliz with one pitch in the 12th to earn the win. Mets fans cheered "Hip-hip Jorge!"

Hello, I'm Echowood. You can call me "Echo" but, around here, everybody just calls me "The Old Guy." I want to thank the editor, Scaramouch, for urging me to speak with you directly. You see, I'm a little bit concerned. I don't think I'm making it on the blog. I'm a funny guy but I haven't been so funny on YesButNotButYes. My friends say, "How come they're givin' you all those topics that aren't funny?" Well, it's not the material. It's me.

While perusing the World Wide Interweb this morning to see if Amy Winehouse is dead yet and looking for Monkey News, I came across a ridiculous story.

MSNBC reports that Cameron Diaz has visited Mrs. Grace at West Hollywood's Psychic Tea Leaf Readings for guidance. Reportedly, Mrs. Grace is the preferred medium for Drew Barrymore as well. Of course she is.

This scoop inspired me to pen a good old fashioned J-Dub-style rant.

Ready? Let's begin.

If you believe in psychics, you are an idiot.

Living in Manhattan, the closest I usually come to a pool are the puddles of urine, oil, rainwater, and vomit that collect near the side of the roads after thunderstorms. So, in order to at least feel like it's summer around here, I need to indulge myself in flights of fancy. PointClickHome has some amazing pools that will no doubt give those chicks you met at the ol' watering hole a reason to come back to your abode. Also, it helps if you're a millionaire.

A rare, incredible KISS performance. Much love to Fancy Pipes for another great link.

Mild violence? Seems like a contradiction in terms to me.

The X-men in San Fran
Mark Millar goes to War
Girl Band plays the Apocalypse
Afrodisiac vs. Dracula
The long awaited return of Reuben Flagg

I know, I know, it's been a while. I appreciate all the fan mail begging for my return to previewing the week's 5 most interesting comics. I promise I won't let you down again. But now that I'm tanned and rested let's get back to talking about comics.

I actually picked a crazy week to come back. With the San Diego Comic Con this weekend there's a TON of books coming out today. Too much really for a top 5 list so I'll add a few honorable mentions at the end.

Will Ferrell and John c. Reilly visited the Daily Show last night not for an interview but more for laughs on the fly.

As Echowood got such a great response to his comic recommendations, I thought I'd poll the 3G iPhone users out there for a little advice.

I currently have a Treo 700p, on the Sprint EVDO network. It's a pretty fast internet connection, which is good because i use my phone mainly for email and web. Although I'ma huge Apple fan, the slow AT&T network never tempted me before. But now there's 3G.

I've played with an iPhone - love everything about the way it works. But I'm hearing bad stories about battery life. As I leave the house at 7am and don't get back until 7pm, I'm wondering if the battery is good enough to last a full day? I usually make maybe 30 mins of calls a day and then maybe another hour or two of email and web.

So - advice from people who actually have 3G's - should I stick with the Treo, which always gives me a full day, sometimes two on one charge? Or is it time to upgrade?

And also - anyone know if the AT&T 3G network works down in the NYC subway? My EVDO always goes dead, but I seem to sit surrounded by people using mobile phones.