All this noise about the New Yorker cover just won't stop. How should Obama's campaign really have reacted? I like the idea floated by The Daily Show Tuesday night.

My fellow Americans, please remove your hats, place your hand over you heart and recite with me...

I pledge allegiance to the bacon [flag]
Of the United States of America

And to the succulent juices
in every strip

One nation loaded with sizzle
Indivisible,
With liberty and deliciousness and a frying pan
For all

PS - Go get your cholesterol checked.

Andy Dick was popped last night at a Buffalo Wild Wings in Murrieta California.

He was arrested for "investigation of drug use and sexual battery after the comedian allegedly pulled down a teenager's top."

Now, is it me, or does Andy's mugshot look like he is channeling Heath Ledger's Joker performance?

Spooky, innit?

Whoops, she smushed the pooch. There just must not be a lot of room in there for the three of them.

Okay farm hands, please tell me if this is really true?

You can mesmerize a chicken by doing the following:

• Draw a line on the ground. (With chalk or something.)

• Bring the chicken's beak to the line.

• Hold it there for a few seconds.

When you let go the chicken will stay motionless, beak held to the chalk line.

I know it's dumb, but I just got to know.

This is what NOT to do during a job interview. For more Ben Schwartz hilarity, check out Rejected Jokes.

Three years ago, Scaramouch wrote about Golden Age strippers, and mentioned that Tempest Storm had retired at age 65. That seemed quite old for a stripper to still be working, but the retirement apparently didn't last. Now we find out that Ms. Storm is 80 years old and still performing in Las Vegas! Ummm, isn't 65 a good age to quit wearing high heels? I dread occasions where I need to put them on, or even a swimsuit, and I'm still far from 80. There are a few pictures with the story, but I'll err on the prudent side and post one from the 1940s. You can see her performing in her heyday in this veg featuring Tempest Storm and her contemporaries.

Feel free to leave your best pun or punchline in the comments.

Well, really it's the price of condoms. I just did the headline that way to get your attention. If you're like me and never use condoms, you wouldn't bother to check out this nice little graph created by the folks at Environmental Graffiti. Go over there to see a bigger graph (because size matters) and the research. Can you believe how condom prices vary around the world? A lot of the difference is due to taxes, and I can't think of many things more counterproductive than taxing condoms. Of course, if you really wanted to compare the price of sex around the world, you'd have to factor in things like a dinner and movie, alimony, hooker rates, the prevalence of trophy wives and such, then you'd get into some really shady practices like mail-order brides and child trafficking and all the sudden you wouldn't want to even touch the data.

So, Johnny Wright up and got himself ordained. Just looking at that smug and self-satisfyingly grating smile on his face irks me to no end. Who does he think he is? Where does he get off? Pawning his ministerial abilities on a two-bit* blog. I'm here to tell you folks, I did it first, and I've done it better.

*His words, not mine.

A few people are responding to Echowood's request for comic book recommendations with mentions of Kingdom Come, and specifically it's artwork. By coincidence, I actually own an original watercolor by Alex Ross (pictured above). It was a piece he painted as a 'demo' for a PBS TV show in Chicago, and I bought it from his art rep soon after.

After watching the show (which only featured the piece very briefly), I wrote to PBS, and they kindly supplied me with some unedited rushes from the show, which means I not only have an Alex Ross painting, but also professionally shot footage of him actually painting it. You can see the clips here. And clicking the link at the top of that page will lead you to some other comic art I also own, if that floats your boat. Enjoy.

From the Sports Desk...

The once cool Tour de France continues it's steady slide into obscurity. Yet another rider, this time Spaniard Moises Duenas Nevado, has tested positive for performance enhancing drugs.

Is anyone clean? Certainly not shamed American Floyd Landis who lost his last appeal. (Now go away Floyd. Stop talking, please.)

One wonders how long it will take to purge cycling of dopers and cheaters and regain respectability.

Maybe it never will...

"The Dark Knight" ***1/2 (out of four): Freed from the confines of an origin story, director Christopher Nolan lets loose with an intense, challenging, flawed and, yes, dark vision of Gotham under siege, featuring an unforgettable final performance by Heath Ledger as the clown prince of crime.

I don't want to say that "The Dark Knight" - director Christopher Nolan's eagerly anticipated follow-up to 2005's franchise-saving "Batman Begins" - has a lot to live up to, but as one of my friends put it: "I just want it to be the best movie I've ever seen." No pressure, Chris. Warner Brothers, the film's distributor, can rest easy in the knowledge that they've put the Bat-series in the hands of a crafty, intelligent and uncompromising director. Summer movie audiences may not get the whiz-bang blockbuster they're expecting (for that, they've always got "Iron Man"). But those ready for Mr. Nolan's intense, challenging, flawed and, yes, dark vision will not be disappointed.

Read more on BigPictureBigSound...

Chris Hansen, you have a call on line one...

Classy Daniel Allen Everett went to have sex with a girl he believed to be 14-years-old. Nope. Those are cops.

When planning his date, Dan thought it would be wise to wear his best 'World's Greatest Dad' t-shirt. Of course, you want the girl to feel you're a good guy. That shirt should put her at ease. They don't give those out to just any dad. Only those that have earned them.

Daniel's bail was set at 50 large.