This just in...

Karl Rove, President Bush's longtime political guru, refused to obey an order to testify before a House Judiciary Committee hearing Thursday. Rove's lawyer asserted that Rove was "immune" from the subpoena the committee had issued, arguing that the committee could not compel him to testify due to "executive privilege."

Link

So what do you think?

No, not that ER. A real one somewhere. Which means the stories are too gross for prime time TV. I doubt Lifetime would even air this back when it was Lifetime Medical TV.

A morbidly obese man with a large abdominal pannus (image at right) came in exhibiting red, irritated skin around the abdomen. It looked like a routine skin infection. But what was the cause? During the exam, I lifted the pannus and a turkey sandwich fell from between his folds. The man said it was about a month old, which the smell confirmed.

That's just the first story. I decided to pass on the "image at right" so you can make your own decision whether to look or not.

Above: Best fortune I ever got in a cookie. Thought it was just a printer error...until I discovered the family living in the other side of my house!

Fortune cookies: the consensus around these parts seems to be that most of 'em should be cast into the pit of Hades, or have the words "in bed" tacked onto the end to make their annoyingly vague platitudes bearable.

But what if you could make your own? What would they say? Leave your timeless wisdom in the comments below!

[WikiHow: How to Make a Fortune Cookie, via DIY Life]

Jesse Jackson is sorry that he got caught whispering disparaging remarks about Barrack Obama. And his testicles.

Not even Jesse's son is backing him up this time.

Isn't it time we stopped listening to the man who has become a caricature of himself? Does anyone take him seriously anymore? Or do most see him as the self-promoting, opportunistic gasbag that he really is?


Watch how Jesse avoids answering the questions and just goes right on rambling through his prepared talking points.

I hope Senator Obama doesn't get his nuts cut off.

This just popped into my Inbox and made my eyes pop out of my head.

There are some fantastic seats left for MLB All Star game this coming Tuesday at Yankee Stadium! Please come down and cheer on your favorite players.

• MR 13 ROW D $1,650 EACH 4 PACK
• MR 8 ROW D $1,650 EACH 4 PACK
• 419 ROW C $1,900 EACH 4 PACK
• 206 ROW H $1,9000 EACH 3 PACK
• MB 232 ROW G $2,000 EACH 4 PACK
• MB 235 ROW D $2,250 EACH 4 PACK
• FB 21 ROW H $3,000 EACH PAIR
• FB 12 ROW H $3,000 EACH 4 PACK
• FB 42 ROW D $3,500 EACH 4 PACK

I'll have to say sorry to my "pal" Jodi at Great Seats cause these prices are way out of my league.

Time is folding in on itself. It's as if you're on an escalator in the mall with mirrors on both sides and, staring down into the light photons bouncing between the planes, you can look into infinity. And, with this, we are given a documentary on a fake movie withing a movie which, in essence, spoofs a documentary about another movie which said original spoofing movie actually spoofs. That liquid pouring out of your ears? That's your brain melting. You might want to put it into a jar, you'll probably need it.

And so we have Rain of Madness, a documentary about the filming of the movie within Tropic Thunder a la Sophia Coppola's Fax Bahr, George Hickenlooper, and Eleanor Coppola's Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmaker's Apocalypse. The trailer is nothing short of brilliant.

"Journey to the Center of the Earth" **1/2 (out of four): Like cotton candy, it's an airy, sweet treat that evaporates as soon as it's consumed.

"Journey to the Center of the Earth" is a twist on the Jules Verne sci-fi classic. Starring summer blockbuster stalwart Brendan Fraser and directed by visual effects wizard Eric Brevig, it's the first live-action, narrative feature shot in digital 3D ("RealD").

Read more on BigPictureBigSound...

"Hellboy II: The Golden Army" *** (out of four): Visually stunning comic book sequel from the endlessly inventive Guillermo del Toro amounts to little more than a noisy mess. But it sure looks pretty along the way.

There's a moment midway through "Hellboy II: The Golden Army" - director Guillermo del Toro's visually stunning sequel to his 2004 comic adaptation - in which the titular demon-hero (played again by the frightfully perfect-for-the-role Ron Perlman) squares off against a ten-story tall "forest elemental" at the foot of the Brooklyn Bridge. During the ensuing battle, the effects are, naturally, seamless; the forest creature throws cars and breaks through concrete with ease. But there's a real beauty at work here - not just in the creature's visual design (which is typically fantastic) but in our hero's dilemma. If he kills the creature, he's killing the last of its kind (Hellboy himself is similarly unique). But if the creature lives, it will grow further out of control, endangering the lives of millions. More than any other moment in the film - and this is really saying something - this sequence exemplifies everything that's great about "Hellboy II". As Mr. del Toro has proven before ("The Devil's Backbone", "Pan's Labyrinth"), he can orchestrate effects (both practical and CG) with the grace of a conductor. It's just this time, instead of using a baton he wields a sledgehammer.

Read more on BigPictureBigSound...

Who knows this might come in handy one day.

This rant brought to you by the letters "L," O," and "L." And, by the number 7.


The English language has been taking a Rocky Balboa-like beating for quite some time. Probably since the 1950's, vocabulary and spelling has suffered a rapid decline.

It's getting worse by the day.

Enemy numero uno? Text messages, instant messages, internet message boards and emails.

I guess you could blame zillions of dollars in lawsuits, a decade of those "Truth" ads, the decrepitly slimy Smoking Man from The X Files, or perhaps some combination of all of the above, but whatever the root cause, smokers these days have it rough. Even putting aside pesky physical effects like lung cancer, emphysema, and Tater Tot-sized fetuses, the overall social status of the American cigarette smoker has slipped down somewhere between lawyers and those guys who sing the FreeCreditReport.com jingle.

These stain-fingered pariahs huddle in exile on balconies and patios, braving the elements for their nicotine fix while the rest of the party tsk-tsks in dry, air-conditioned comfort. They're the last group of people that it's socially acceptable to be openly rude to, especially if their lit cigarettes are in the same zip code as your precious honor student. After a recent $1.25/pack tax increase in New York City, 20 cigarettes now cost as much as a generously-portioned rock of crack -- but I believe you still have to cross the river into New Jersey before you can actually light up. (The cigarettes, that is -- go ahead and spark that rock right on the subway, homes.)