It all started with Trailwaze's seemingly innocuous comment on my post about the best review of the worst book ever:
Jsut tkae all teh psots fmro tihs seti adn bnid tehm.....
But the more I thought about it, and read some of the additional suggestions, I asked myself, Why NOT a YesButNoButYes book?
Sure, YBNBY has been a trailblazer in this digital medium known as teh intarwebs, but what if you need your YesBut fix during those other occasions when an electronic device is less than handy to have around? (i.e. when you're taking a dump.)
So I'm hereby officially giving the floor -- the sticky, mildewed linoleum floor -- to you faithful YBNBY readers for suggestions. What would the book version of this site be/look/smell like?
So far in the brainstorm we've got:
- Smells like leather, and/or bacon, and/or Scotch, and/or this chick's lingerie drawer (Multiple editions, perhaps? Ooh, I smell a collectible!)
- Outer jacket disguised to look like hardcore porn mag, to avoid embarrassment if your boss catches you reading it. (Thanks, Scaramouch!)
- Inner jacket made of Purell wipe packets, because hey, even we don't know where this book has been.
- Random pages stuck together. (That way you have to buy multiple copies to read the whole thing...Cha-CHING!)
- Every acre of trees cut down to produce paper for book is replanted with acre of Maui Wowie.
- Binding glue made of 100% racehorse (some of them have been getting a bit uppity, if you ask me; a couple vats would make a good example for the others.)
- ISBN number MUST be divisible by 7. (Sorry, that's the OCD talking. Deal.)
- Book available in doubly-convenient "soft roll" format. (Just don't get the Braille version this way...ouch!)
- Dimensions sized to fit on average
coffee tabletoilet tanktrick's dashboard. - Illustrated, flip-book version of "2 Girls 1 Cup" printed at bottom-right corner of every page (not available in "soft roll" edition.)
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As the apparent originator of this idea, I feel that I have a conflict of interest, but f that I want to have a say....
Idea 1: The Scented Tome
Have three grades like petrol
87 American Cheese
89 Bacon
93 Scotch
Bonus bundle soft roll with hard cover and include hand sanitizer.
Soft roll 6 pack? (Holiday gift idea)
(more to follow)
My entries are going to scratch and sniff to smell like cheese, beef jerky and monkeys.
Ha ha! Awesome Johnny!
It's like y'all are reverse engineering the onion....
Nice! There certainly are a lot of odors involved in this book so far, huh?
Just thought of another possible addition: popups! I think a popup centerfold of "New Romantic" Scaramouch would help us shift some units:
http://www.yesbutnobutyes.com/archives/2007/10/ten_moments_of.html
Exactly WHERE it will help shift those units, though, I'm not entirely sure...
Trailwaze, the six pack is a great idea!
You can give one roll to each person in the house, so, you'll never be annoyed by the missing part between the times you go to WC and some MF used the last few lines you didn't read on that 'page'...
The top right and bottom right corners have to have flip book style art in them, both forwards and backwards.
Corner #1 Forward - Burlesque dancer twirling pasties.
Corner #2 Forward - Kid riding laundry basket down a ladder.
Corner #1 Backward - Commuter trying, and failing, various suicide attempts.
Corner #2 Backward - Monkey getting hauled off to prison.
DSB: good call! Why was I limiting myself to just ONE flip book corner when there are conceivably FOUR of them? Maybe we could even figure out some innovative "middle binding" rather than on the edge, and do EIGHT flip books.
Ooh! There should also be one chapter that's just cut-out pages where you can store your shiv/stash/inflatable companion.
Question.... how will we comment on the book's articles? Will it come with stamped envelopes for us to send them and so we can order an 'add on pack' with all the coments sent to you to glue them at the bottom of each page?
Or should we write them in the book itself and carry it everywhere we go, just in case we find someone else who have it too and we can share the comments with?
Interesting point Leonardo. I was wondering how I'm going to expain what the book is about when people browse through the caption competition section.
I like what I'm hearing though, sounds like my kind of book.
Yep, can't forget the caption competition... shall we place the photo on the office's board and ask our colleagues to add theyr caption?
Will the book come with a 'update warrant' for new posts? At least for a determined time, after that we buy it...
Well, they could come with the captions from the online version.
It was the subject matter of the caption competitions that I thought would be conversation starters. "What is that guy doing on that roof?" "Why does that dude have a funnel up his butt?"
What about modding the book to have a small digital display and an RSS feed direct from the web site? It could come with the delux edition.
Ooo! Wait! You could have the super deluxe with cheese edition and take the voice controller out of Teddy Ruxpin and have the book talk!
I think the binding glue should be sniffable. This way even if the book itself sucks, the reader can get high to forget they even read it in the first place.
Trailwaze, I disagree... I'd prefer it bacon scented/flavoured... plus, ted Ruxpin creeps the shit out of me...
That reminds me, it's about time we had a Cpation Competition. I have a bunch of them lined up. Will post one new.
That is good Scaramouch, my fingers are tingling from withdraw...
Well Leo, the Talking YBNBY Book would be an upgrade option, not available on the lower grade editions. Bacon flavored....you would taste a book?
Trailwaze, my friend... we never know when will we get stuck for days in an elevator and become an Internet Celebrity... Must have what to eat...
And, if its soooo goodly bacon scented, maybe I'll can't help myself a taste...
Plus, for those who lick the fingers to turn a page, it's a great bonus! Each page you turn, your fingers will get more and more tasty... maybe it comes in scotch too... ;)
Now that does sound good!
I prefer beer flavour than scotch, but now you got the idea... lol
The diary-style lock across the front needs to be hand-crafted, cast in pewter, and in the shape of a monkey face wearing a prison cap.
And winking.
Right. So we want to get high off the glue and hide a shiv in a secret compartment. It should be scratch and sniff with an emphasis on beer, scotch and bacon. It should have flip movies on every available corner.
And it should have a pornographic cover lest anyone know what we're actually reading (or just reading period).
I'm still in, though I wonder if half the readership here is in prison (not that there's anything wrong with that.)
Also, this is the first time I ever heard of having pages pre-stuck together. One word - genius.
Since the soft roll format won't come with flip movies, what bonus(es) will it have?
It could double as a beer coozy.....
How about YBNBY condoms?
And can you make spaghetti strapped tanks for chicks with YBNBY on the front and bacon on the lower back? Like a tramp stamp? So I don't have to get the tattoo and I can leave it on during sex and blowjobs so there is no more and/or's Scaramouch?
And thongs? And Boxers? It could become a new teen sex game, like the bracelets thing a few years ago, where you can just point to your answer, or not. Or, they could be interchangeable, like for chicks that don't like it in the ass, it could say no back there and for gay guys it could have a yes and a hole on the back.
What about car blinker covers? No more annoying guy in front of you with the blinker on, it could become a new car game, like he loves me, he loves me not.
Can you make coffee mugs that say yes when hot and no when cold? And beer mugs that do the opposite?
You guys missed me, admit it.
I'm a gunna think about some more and come back to this one.
Oh, I model the tanks, I have a nice rack, or so I've been told, or oggled at.
Ohh... Ohh... Ohh... what about bikini tops with Yes and No on either boob? And they could change from yes to no when wet, or hot, like a hypercolor t-shirt?
And can we come up with a secret handshake?
And a clubhouse?
I think I'm done?
I can't stop ending sentences with a ?
And Juicy style shorts/sweats with Yes and No on either cheek and but written right on the crack.
I'm an asshat...
I just realized you guys have a store with the majority of this shit in there...
That big "VISIT OUR STORE" link didn't beckon me to check there first.
Jeni, any time you want to model to replace Fat Ethel as our poster girl, you know where to send the pics.
And yes, we missed you :)
I sent some to you, the heading is 'Hi Scaramouch, pics of Jeni Gump'.