"Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I assure you, it's much more serious than that."
Bill ShanklyThe world is watching what is happening in Switzerland and Austria right now.
America is not.
Euro 2008, one if the biggest sporting events on planet Earth has reached the semifinals. Billions are transfixed, why aren't we?
Soccer doesn't matter here. Never has. It should.
If you are really a sports fan, you should care about it. You should be watching it.
It is the world's game. Over six billion revere it. 300 million don't. That puts us in a very small minority. You know what? We're wrong.
Dead wrong.
The efforts to bring football here and to popularize the game in the States have been futile.
(SIDENOTE: Yes, we are going to refer to the game as football here and there. Again, six billion call it football, 300 million call it soccer. They're right, we're wrong.)
Okay, where was I? Right, bringing the game here.
There was a brief flurry of interest in the late 70's (and early 80's) when Pele and Franz Beckenbauer were playing for the New York Cosmos, but it didn't take. Here's why; the product is inferior. When Americans watch the World Cup, they see the game at it's highest level. Interest grows. Festers. Then the MLS asks us to watch their games and we see a watered down, junior varsity match. It would be the equivalent of a Brit coming here and watching the NFL playoffs, getting excited about it, then asking them to watch Division II college games. It wouldn't work. "What the hell is this?" they'd ask. "Why are these guys so slow?"
Forget the MLS, that's not what I'm taking about. Bringing Beckham here was a noble effort, but without the novelty of him on the pitch it is still the scrubs that can't make the well paid European rosters.
In the age of eleventy-thousand channels on your dish, you can not only watch the huge tournaments - World Cup, The Euro's, Champions League, etc. - you can follow the bigger leagues easily. Mainly the English Premier League, but also games in Spain, Italy or Germany. That is where you see the game as it should be played. Smooth. Electric. Controlled. Strategic.
Football rules the world because it is the great equalizer of team athletics. Most of our
major sports require some sort if extreme physical gifts. Or a severe pituitary disorder. The NBA lives by the mantra that you "can't teach height." The list of underachieving, untalented seven footers is similar in length to that of crooked politicians. It's a never-ending story. In international football, they would have never been issued a uniform. Talent and work ethic matters above all. You don't have to be a physical specimen. Maradona, arguably the games all-time greatest player, was 5 foot 5. But he had speed and heart. Quick feet and a will to win. That trumped being 6 foot 6 and 255 pounds.
That's why the children of the world play football in the streets, vacant lots, savannahs and barrios. They know that there is the possibility that with enough hard work, they could be starting for Real Madrid. There isn't a need for expensive equipment or facilities. A ball and something to mark goals is all that's needed. You set up a milk carton and a lost shoe, and boom; there's a goal, let's play.
Most of the world lives and dies with the game. They cram onto trains and travel each weekend to follow their club. On Saturdays across Europe, train stations are awash in team jerseys and colors. The excitement and energy that we see in NFL and NBA stadiums pales in comparison to the fanaticism in foreign football arenas. The crowd sings for ninety minutes. They never stop. They are, without doubt, the greatest fans in all of sport.
Football is even credited with the stopping of a civil war. Last year I read an amazing piece in Vanity Fair that chronicled the end of war in the Ivory Coast. Writer Austin Merrill wrote that "A single soccer match achieves what five years of combat and negotiations could not: an apparent end to Ivory Coast's civil war." Maybe instead of dragging out the quagmire in ineptitude that has been the war in Iraq, we could have just held a soccer match and called it good.
When the World Cup engulfs the planet every four years, the first round matches crush the viewership of the Super Bowl. Blows it out of the water. (Dammit, World Cup, you sank my battleship.) A third of the world watches the final. Over two billion people.
I understand soccer's criticisms. Some are valid. I wish the game would rid itself of the diving/flopping and the accompanying stretcher afterwards. To the players on the pitch, the practice is seen as strategic, but it is annoying. Even I, a football apologist, get annoyed when a player is sneezed on and he goes down like he was just popped by a sniper. (Yep, I'm looking at you Cristiano Ronaldo. You ninny.) The hooligans are a continual black eye to football. Their violence and thuggery is shameful. However, with international football there is less activity on the police blotter and hardly a whiff of steroid abuse. It's a give and take situation.
Every so often I'll see a sports columnist make a case to change football so it will appeal to American audiences. Remove offsides, widen the goal, idiocy like that. Let me disabuse that notion. The rest of the world likes the game as it is. It's not going to be changed. Change is not necessary. Perception is.
Once while speaking to some friends from the U.K., I asked what they thought the reason is that America has never embraced the Beautiful Game. They said "The truth is, many think that Americans are too dumb to appreciate it." That may anger some, but unfortunately, they may be right.
That's part of it, but to fair, we have too many entertainment options as it is. Too much competition for futbol to deal with. How can the largest sport on Earth possibly compete with A Shot at Hepatitis with Tila Tequila? That's outrageous. If soccer was put on television in the fifties and sixties, it would probably be in the same gang as American football, basketball and baseball. (Johnny, you're forgetting hockey. Nope, I'm not. I'm not forgetting Ultimate Frisbee either.)
Think if some of our top athletes focused on becoming a footballer as a child. Our national team would probably be on par with Argentina, Brazil and Italy. Imagine Allen Iverson as a striker. There would be no stopping him. Or Chad Johnson on the left wing. Brian Urlacher as a defender - good luck Thierry Henry. Kevin Garnett could have been the greatest goalkeeper of all time.
There is nothing like the passion countries have following their national teams. Nothing. Towns literally shut down during the matches. Shops close, life stops. Not only are you rooting for the team currently engaged in battle on the pitch, you are rooting for your heritage. It's not eleven on eleven, it's millions versus millions. When I watch England, not only am I pulling for Rooney and Gerrard, but in some way, the blood that runs through my veins.
A few weeks ago, my Argentine buddy Antonio boarded a bus in Los Angeles filled with football fans and headed to San Diego to see his beloved Argentina play Mexico. When he called me from the match, I don't think I have ever heard him more excited. Being it that stadium, seeing wunderkind Lionel Messi score a goal, and celebrating with this countrymen was fifty Christmas mornings for my boy.
(SIDENOTE 2: England and Argentina are bitter rivals. The bitterness started in the 1966 World Cup and really came to a head after the "Hand of God Goal" in 1986. Or, as we refer to it as, "cheating." (There was also this little incident called The Falklands War...) When England and Argentina play, Antonio and I agree not to talk for a couple days. It's for the best.)
After World Cup 98 - an event where I watched nearly every match with my buddies Aaron and N8 - I made the calculated decision that was going to follow the English Premier League seriously.
With British newspapers easily accessible online, I was ready to get on board. Now I needed a team. Can't follow a sport without someone to root for. A sports fan without affiliations is not a real fan. Ship without a rudder, tossed to and fro. Manchester United was eliminated immediately. No. They're the Yankees. The Evil Empire. Pulling for Man U is rooting for rain in a hurricane. What's the point? I briefly thought about Manchester City, but my only connection there is my love for Noel and Liam Gallagher. Liverpool was flirted with, but again, only The Beatles tied me to the Scousers. One of the smaller random clubs were considered, like Portsmouth - there is an Arthur Conan Doyle connection - but that was dashed when I realized that it was unlikely they would ever be a winner. I would adopt a London club. The finalists were West Ham, Chelsea, Arsenal and Tottenham Hotspur. After reading the histories of the teams, fasting for forty days and forty nights, consulting a Ouija board and Magic 8-Ball, I settled on Arsenal. The fact that the club was started by the workers of the Royal Arsenal in Woolwich was a big selling point. As was Johnny Rotten's firm endorsement. I root for the Gunners. Always will.
The more I have watched, the more I appreciate international football. It is simplistic and complicated. Passionate and fervent. It is the Beautiful Game.
The American dismissal of soccer is shameful. Reconsider it. Join me - and the rest of the world.
(SIDENOTE: Yes, we are going to refer to the game as football here and there. Again, six billion call it football, 300 million call it soccer. They're right, we're wrong.)
Okay, where was I? Right, bringing the game here.
There was a brief flurry of interest in the late 70's (and early 80's) when Pele and Franz Beckenbauer were playing for the New York Cosmos, but it didn't take. Here's why; the product is inferior. When Americans watch the World Cup, they see the game at it's highest level. Interest grows. Festers. Then the MLS asks us to watch their games and we see a watered down, junior varsity match. It would be the equivalent of a Brit coming here and watching the NFL playoffs, getting excited about it, then asking them to watch Division II college games. It wouldn't work. "What the hell is this?" they'd ask. "Why are these guys so slow?"
Forget the MLS, that's not what I'm taking about. Bringing Beckham here was a noble effort, but without the novelty of him on the pitch it is still the scrubs that can't make the well paid European rosters.
In the age of eleventy-thousand channels on your dish, you can not only watch the huge tournaments - World Cup, The Euro's, Champions League, etc. - you can follow the bigger leagues easily. Mainly the English Premier League, but also games in Spain, Italy or Germany. That is where you see the game as it should be played. Smooth. Electric. Controlled. Strategic.
Football rules the world because it is the great equalizer of team athletics. Most of our
major sports require some sort if extreme physical gifts. Or a severe pituitary disorder. The NBA lives by the mantra that you "can't teach height." The list of underachieving, untalented seven footers is similar in length to that of crooked politicians. It's a never-ending story. In international football, they would have never been issued a uniform. Talent and work ethic matters above all. You don't have to be a physical specimen. Maradona, arguably the games all-time greatest player, was 5 foot 5. But he had speed and heart. Quick feet and a will to win. That trumped being 6 foot 6 and 255 pounds. That's why the children of the world play football in the streets, vacant lots, savannahs and barrios. They know that there is the possibility that with enough hard work, they could be starting for Real Madrid. There isn't a need for expensive equipment or facilities. A ball and something to mark goals is all that's needed. You set up a milk carton and a lost shoe, and boom; there's a goal, let's play.
Most of the world lives and dies with the game. They cram onto trains and travel each weekend to follow their club. On Saturdays across Europe, train stations are awash in team jerseys and colors. The excitement and energy that we see in NFL and NBA stadiums pales in comparison to the fanaticism in foreign football arenas. The crowd sings for ninety minutes. They never stop. They are, without doubt, the greatest fans in all of sport.
Football is even credited with the stopping of a civil war. Last year I read an amazing piece in Vanity Fair that chronicled the end of war in the Ivory Coast. Writer Austin Merrill wrote that "A single soccer match achieves what five years of combat and negotiations could not: an apparent end to Ivory Coast's civil war." Maybe instead of dragging out the quagmire in ineptitude that has been the war in Iraq, we could have just held a soccer match and called it good.
When the World Cup engulfs the planet every four years, the first round matches crush the viewership of the Super Bowl. Blows it out of the water. (Dammit, World Cup, you sank my battleship.) A third of the world watches the final. Over two billion people.
I understand soccer's criticisms. Some are valid. I wish the game would rid itself of the diving/flopping and the accompanying stretcher afterwards. To the players on the pitch, the practice is seen as strategic, but it is annoying. Even I, a football apologist, get annoyed when a player is sneezed on and he goes down like he was just popped by a sniper. (Yep, I'm looking at you Cristiano Ronaldo. You ninny.) The hooligans are a continual black eye to football. Their violence and thuggery is shameful. However, with international football there is less activity on the police blotter and hardly a whiff of steroid abuse. It's a give and take situation. Every so often I'll see a sports columnist make a case to change football so it will appeal to American audiences. Remove offsides, widen the goal, idiocy like that. Let me disabuse that notion. The rest of the world likes the game as it is. It's not going to be changed. Change is not necessary. Perception is.
Once while speaking to some friends from the U.K., I asked what they thought the reason is that America has never embraced the Beautiful Game. They said "The truth is, many think that Americans are too dumb to appreciate it." That may anger some, but unfortunately, they may be right.
That's part of it, but to fair, we have too many entertainment options as it is. Too much competition for futbol to deal with. How can the largest sport on Earth possibly compete with A Shot at Hepatitis with Tila Tequila? That's outrageous. If soccer was put on television in the fifties and sixties, it would probably be in the same gang as American football, basketball and baseball. (Johnny, you're forgetting hockey. Nope, I'm not. I'm not forgetting Ultimate Frisbee either.)
Think if some of our top athletes focused on becoming a footballer as a child. Our national team would probably be on par with Argentina, Brazil and Italy. Imagine Allen Iverson as a striker. There would be no stopping him. Or Chad Johnson on the left wing. Brian Urlacher as a defender - good luck Thierry Henry. Kevin Garnett could have been the greatest goalkeeper of all time.
There is nothing like the passion countries have following their national teams. Nothing. Towns literally shut down during the matches. Shops close, life stops. Not only are you rooting for the team currently engaged in battle on the pitch, you are rooting for your heritage. It's not eleven on eleven, it's millions versus millions. When I watch England, not only am I pulling for Rooney and Gerrard, but in some way, the blood that runs through my veins.
A few weeks ago, my Argentine buddy Antonio boarded a bus in Los Angeles filled with football fans and headed to San Diego to see his beloved Argentina play Mexico. When he called me from the match, I don't think I have ever heard him more excited. Being it that stadium, seeing wunderkind Lionel Messi score a goal, and celebrating with this countrymen was fifty Christmas mornings for my boy.
(SIDENOTE 2: England and Argentina are bitter rivals. The bitterness started in the 1966 World Cup and really came to a head after the "Hand of God Goal" in 1986. Or, as we refer to it as, "cheating." (There was also this little incident called The Falklands War...) When England and Argentina play, Antonio and I agree not to talk for a couple days. It's for the best.)
After World Cup 98 - an event where I watched nearly every match with my buddies Aaron and N8 - I made the calculated decision that was going to follow the English Premier League seriously.
With British newspapers easily accessible online, I was ready to get on board. Now I needed a team. Can't follow a sport without someone to root for. A sports fan without affiliations is not a real fan. Ship without a rudder, tossed to and fro. Manchester United was eliminated immediately. No. They're the Yankees. The Evil Empire. Pulling for Man U is rooting for rain in a hurricane. What's the point? I briefly thought about Manchester City, but my only connection there is my love for Noel and Liam Gallagher. Liverpool was flirted with, but again, only The Beatles tied me to the Scousers. One of the smaller random clubs were considered, like Portsmouth - there is an Arthur Conan Doyle connection - but that was dashed when I realized that it was unlikely they would ever be a winner. I would adopt a London club. The finalists were West Ham, Chelsea, Arsenal and Tottenham Hotspur. After reading the histories of the teams, fasting for forty days and forty nights, consulting a Ouija board and Magic 8-Ball, I settled on Arsenal. The fact that the club was started by the workers of the Royal Arsenal in Woolwich was a big selling point. As was Johnny Rotten's firm endorsement. I root for the Gunners. Always will. The more I have watched, the more I appreciate international football. It is simplistic and complicated. Passionate and fervent. It is the Beautiful Game.
The American dismissal of soccer is shameful. Reconsider it. Join me - and the rest of the world.
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The bulk of your argument is that Americans should support soccer because the rest of the world does. The fact that people in other countries get very, very excited about soccer has no impact on the merits or the enjoyability of watching the game. People like to watch all sorts of things (your reality show example being a good one), it doesn't mean that those who don't watch them are wrong.
With the exception of your point about how easy a game it is to play in terms of equipment (all you really need is a ball) and the lack of innate physical characteristics (A: as if speed were not in part innate, and B: other than height in basketball or weight in football for offensive lineman, American sports don't have these requirements either... especially not baseball), you didn't explain to me why it's so fundamentally important that Americans change their habits to pick up this sport. Americans already follow lots of sports, why should we add one more to our mental checklist (or why should we shove one aside)?
One other minor quibble, you repeated an anecdote about Americans being too stupid to appreciate soccer. First, why? What is it that's so complicated and mentally intensive that we're missing? Again, merely pointing out that other people enjoy it isn't alone sufficient to prove this point. Second, how do they explain the American appreciation of baseball, which is nothing if not a celebration of statistics and mind numbing, long-form calculation. Why do we appreciate baseball and not soccer?
This piece felt like more of a lament to the fact that you like soccer and the rest of us don't, rather than an argument proving that the rest of us SHOULD like soccer.
Yuck!
No Dice Johnny. I took a gym class in Soccer in HS and got an A in it. I know the rules, it's history, I know it's popular in other countries and we are a bunch of dumb hicks for not embracing it, yadda, yadda, yadda.
Still aint watching it. If I need to pick up another sport I'll look at the WNBA.
I knew full well that this would not be a popular one.
But I stand by the piece. I'll write a funny one later this week.
Thanks for reading.
With the enormous popularity of AYSO and other youth soccer groups across the nation I think we will see a growth in the competitiveness of the homegrown players, along with more interest in the game in general. I hope so--it's a great game!
It is growing.
I played in AYSO soccer. I enjoyed playing at the time, but it didn't create any long-lived interest in WATCHING soccer.
Soccer is boring... plain and simple. Frankly, I like a happy medium of scoring somewhere between soccer/hockey and football... scores like we see in baseball. I am likewise turned off by the insane scoring in basketball. Raise the rim about five feet and start calling for traveling and maybe I'll watch.
In my book, it's just a homoerotic sweatfest with little ROI. I feel like I'm witnessing some Sisyphean Odyssey where players run around all day and score less than A/V club members at the prom. It's more exciting watching the hooligans beat the tar out of one another than anything on the pitch.
I don't know what you're talking about Joey, but I have to respect the use of "Sisyphean Odyssey."
Football is a wonderful sport. It's great to see an underdog surprise everyone like Russia and Turkey are doing in the Euro's.
Some teams lack the technical ability, but they make it up with heart and passion and it shows. I love football because anyone can win it and there are no 'true' favorites.
From a sports viewer standpoint, the flopping is really what drives me away, but since you already mentioned it, I'll not say more about that.
The biggest problem with soccer lies in the penalty box. I played through high school and while the game was fun, it's fundamentally flawed. I've seen far too many games decided by a ref who decided to call (or disregard) penalties in the box. In a game where matches are frequently determined by a single goal, a penalty shot at a critical moment will determine the outcome of 90 minutes of play. The whole sport seems pointless when the hard work of 22 guys is determined by a zebra with a whistle. Even the most fair of refs make mistakes.
There was a book by Bill Buford called 'Among the Thugs' that was about the soccer fans in Britain, particularly the, well the thuggish ones. Great book even if you don't follow the sport. Just thought I'd throw that in. If you are a fan you might really get a kick (no pun intended) out of it.
Football/soccer is a great sport. No doubt and I totally agree that watching the European leagues gets me more into the game than the MLS. I love watching football, but I just can't make the extra time for it. If I catch a game or a few minutes of Man U., awesome. I'll read the blurbs in the sports section and wait for the highlights at :54 after on SportCenter but I'm afraid that's all I can handle right now.
I think I could write a very similar post about hockey, using very much the same arguments. Hockey is a wonderful game to watch but not many Americans embrace it for very much the same reason as soccer/football. Sure it's got more acceptance, but it's far from popular. Basketball, tennis, NASCAR they're much bigger.
Another thing is that while soccer/football is a popular youth sport in much of the country, the bigger sports - American football, baseball and basketball - are the ones kids are more encouraged to play. Fuck, you just need to drive through any small town in the Fall or Spring on a Friday or Saturday night to know what the big draws is. And it will never be soccer/football, as much as I wish it was.
Great post and writing as always. Thanks for the thoughts.
I missed some of the best football when I was going to college in the U.S. from 1983-87. The 1986 world cup with Maradona at his peak was akin to watching Tiger Woods winning the 1997 Masters/2000 & 2008 US Opens rolled into one.
I met Alan Ball in 1981 when he toured the Far East with the Southampton team. I met my childhood hero Kevin Keegan and posed for a photo at the pool with Mick Channon.
Then, in 1996 I met Edwyn Collins of Orange Juice and shared same stage with him.
I wish some reader could tell you what all this means.
Please go read Fever Pitch by Nick Hornby and A Pop Odyssey by Giles Smith.
Nice piece Johnny. I'm probably one of the few avid soccer fans born and raised in the US. And I am watching the Euro simply for the quality as I have no vested interest in any side. I do understand the American perception of the sport, but things are changing even if you get some douchebags calling its homoerotic. I think what Americans fail to realize is that you don't need to score for a game to be interesting. The recent US vs. Argentina 0-0 draw is a good example- it was an amazing game.
As for MLS, we're happy its here but we do understand the quality is not as good as the top leagues. Even so, its now enjoyable to watch and see what talent is coming through that may get picked up by a top flight league. With lots of Americans heading off to Europe, it provides incentive to stay invested with those leagues now too. And I'm glad I was able to witness Fulham's amazing run out of relegation this year with several Americans on their team.
Anyway, I've found that trying to get Americans interested in a sport where you may play 90 minutes to have that one moment of perfection is a fruitless effort. There's just not enough understanding of the tactical side of the game here. Maybe you should do an article about how EPL fans can start drinking at 9am on a Saturday?
You know what's a dull arse sport you North Americans like watching.
Golf. How can you watch that drivel?? Same goes for Bowling. You put that stuff on the tele. Gawd almighty...and you call soccer boring.
But football is your game...bunch of men, smacking each other on the bum. Hmmm...so maybe that's your fancy, huh?
"Maybe you should do an article about how EPL fans can start drinking at 9am on a Saturday?"
That's hilarious...
Thanks for mentioning Nick Honrby's Fever Pitch, Juls. I was going to go into it, but feared that would be Arsenal overkill. I read it about 2 years after I started following the Gunners. It's an incredibly well written book. The British film is also good.
Baier, thanks for the kind words. Scaramouch and I are going to lecture you about the nuances of football until you cave.
JW
Chuck Klosterman had a great article in Esquire a few months ago where he discussed why American's hate soccer and why it will never catch on here. He is especially critical of that "lots of kids play soccer, so in 20 years..." crap. They have been saying that for 30 years now and soccer is still slightly behind badmitton in popularity in the US.
There was a great scene in a Simpsons episode where everyone was excited about the new soccer team..until the game started. The a soccer riot broke out over who was going to leave first.
Soccer: it's the sport of the future, and always will be.
Oh, great, soccer snobbery from glorified kickball fans. That's really going to bring in the interest from passersby.
If you like soccer, like it. Watch it. Promote it, even. But please don't tell me its lack of popularity is due to something as simple as because it has taken hold of Kenya or Albania, it obviously ought to fly here.
First, if soccer is ever to gain viewing interest in America, it is going to have to adapt to fundamental American concepts. Hockey, another struggling (but vastly more popular) sport in America no longer has ties: neither should soccer.
The rest of the world may be right that soccer is a beautiful game, but Americans are right: watching a tie (esp. a nil-nil) in sports is like kissing your sister.
The inclusivity of soccer also lends to its viewing downfall. It may be fun to play on X-box, or run around in the back yard, or play as children until you can gain access to more specialized activities, but the fact of it is that there is nothing of inherent American interest in the game. That's not to say it is un-American, just "not exactly American." Because the game doesn't appeal to our most elite athletes, it is a nice popular playing sport.
I love boxing. I know no one else who does. Those few people interested in personal combat that I know are MMA guys to the core. I'd love for boxing to return to its golden age in my lifetime, but I'm content that it will not. I don't have a deep burning need to evangelize anyone about how Americans are stupid now because our elite heavyweights all wear an NFL Jersey today, or that because Manny Paquiao is the pride of the Phillipines, that we in the U.S. should be falling over ourselves to broaden boxing's appeal.
Soccer is, and probably always be, a foreign game in America. That doesn't make it bad. Most soccer players I know are pretty interesting guys.
When they aren't on rants about stupid Americans and their sports arrogance.
Sorry, did that bloke really say Football wont take off in the US until they have no drawn games (not ties, you wear those around your neck)! Actually Football wont take off in the US until people stop trying to change the game to suit what THEY want. Seem like the same way the US tries to export its form of Democracy to everyone who doesn't yet have it. Except of course Zimbabwe, where the US only wants to "scold" Mugabe. "Tsk, tsk Robert, you really should have fair elections. Anyway we don't really care as you have no oil". As for Johnny supporting Arsenal, bad move brother. Another season with no silverware.
Come on, man. Just because Arsenal folded like a lawn chair down the stretch is no reason to be disappointed. Ah, who am I kidding, it was a mess.
Adebayor gives us hope though.
Seeing Man U win the EPL and Champions League was awful hard to stomach.
Thanks for reading.
You, and the world, wonders why America is not smitten with the game and your preferred tactic is to insult our intelligence.
Soccer can be a lot of fun, there's a very low barrier to entry and low barrier to adequately play it (which, by the way, could be an example I trot out that any retard can do it.) But I won't ;)
Lets have it Johnny, why are Americans too stupid to understand this sport? I've met two-toothed hillbillies who could explain the Nickle Defense and West Coast Offense. I sit in baseball stadiums where the guy next to me is telling me teams score an average of .7 runs per inning with a man on first and no outs, but only .4 runs per inning with a man on second and one out. I've sat in Fantasy (American) Football drafts where a guy I KNOW could not find his ass with a mirror and stick expound on the strategy of picking Wide Receivers after the 8th round (he won.)
Explain to us retards the complicated soccer strategies and skill-sets that are beyond our understanding considering the sports we do prefer.
And then explain to us how such an important, mature sport can 100% hinge on ONE referees interpretation of a vague set of rules, when the sports we prefer strive obsessively to take the ref out of the game and put it in the hands of the PLAYERS.
But before you do that, re-read your own article about the race part. I say "race" and not "nationalism" because that is exactly how you feel it and understand it and how the world does it: it's your "blood" more than your country you route for, so it's race. The French are French, the Brits are Brits, the Kenyans are Kenyan.
We are everything, so the element of the "racism" that courses the international sport just doesn't apply here, so we look at the actual sport part, and find it, meh, ok.
Hopefully, someday, America will never be as soccer enlightened as say, Spain, who threw bananas and made ape noises at black soccer players.
That didn't make much sense but thanks for writing.
I didn't say Americans were dumb. I said that is one of the perceptions the rest of the world has.
And nothing proves intelligence like winning at fantasy football. Mensa will happy to have him.
Well, the Indians (all 1.3 BILLION of them) have a particular liking to Cricket. They shutdown towns, flood the places where there are working TV sets and watch a game that is complex and technical. They have a futbol team and it plays a distant third fiddle to cricket and field hockey. So according to the logic here, we should all watch Cricket and Curling (the Canadians love it!) since it is popular elsewhere.
I usually don't watch sports on TV; I just can’t get excited about any of them. I liked playing fubol, hockey and such. I also enjoy going to the range and shooting steel targets with my rifle. There are many activates in this world for us to enjoy, why pick just one or force a choice through arrogant and ignorant bullery? If one man’s trash is another’s treasure, then one man’s sport is another man’s nap. I am glad you enjoy the game and get satisfaction from it. I can tell by how you worded your article you feel strongly about it. I can strip down re-assemble my rifle in 30 seconds, probably makes me just as satisfied. I consider it a sport, there are even competitions I could partake in. What about rowing crew? That is hugely popular outside the US (although, to be fair, we have many VERY good rowing teams.)
So I have to ask, are you trying to make a persuasive argument for Futbol in the USA; or are you just venting your frustration that not many here has the passion for the sport that you exhibit?
BTW Johnny, there is a non-fiction book called The Soccer War, (Amazon has it) about a dispute between El Salvador and Honduras precipitated by a game. It was good. It's a little like that Ivory Coast thing but in reverse.
That's sports for you. It can bring people together and do the opposite.
Sports and religion, E. It can go both ways.
I'll try to check out the book. Thanks.
True Dat.
The Soccer War and Among the Thugs, both really good, readable, enjoyable books. If you're in need of infotainment.
the ONLY reason soccer is popular is because most of the world is dirt poor and stupid. the dirt poor people cannot afford to play any sport that requires an investment in equipment therefore they play soccer as no equipment is required (if you are really really dirt poor you can substitute coconuts or severed heads for the ball). and the dirt poor tend to be stupid which means they could not possibly understand a real sport with rules, soccer has no rules....just a lot of kicking and crying.
p.s. your article sucks and you are a loser.
That make anyone else laugh? Just me?
How can I possibly debate that kind of eloquence? You got me, pal. Well played.
The world is dirt poor and stupid, got it. Good point.
That was excellent, "you are really really dirt poor you can substitute coconuts or severed heads for the ball".
Now soccer with severed heads I would watch.
Yeah, it would be a sports version of Death Race 2000.
"In the future, there is a rubber shortage. However, the games must go on. The beheaded criminal's skulls are used in ... DEATH MATCH!"
Coming soon to a theater near you.
Uh, hate to rain on the pre deathrace parade, but the balls are made of leather
pilgrim.
I am game for taking ideas to their illogical conclusion....
So Johnny, how about this --->
In the future there is a massive leather shortage caused by Nike creating a line of super bovine that eats its own; Combined with over population and a nasty brain eating disease, futbol pros must now use the heads of convicts to play the game. Scores of hungry and barefoot fans pack the stands as Tina Turner delivers the dictate "Two teams enter, two teams leave!" The losing team feeds the masses! (Hooray dystopias!) The finally can be a super bovine methane gas attack on a stadium full of fubol hooligans!
Mel Gibson can star as the ball!
Can you dig it?
Er, that be "Two teams enter, ONE team leaves"
Got into the beer tonight....sorryyydsmxe(hiccup)
I was talking about the bladder inside the ball, but I like yours better. Leather shortage. You got it.
I'll rush it into development.
Have another beer...
Yesssh sher, I thinky I wrill.
Yo! The mayans I think used to play a game where the losing team got whacked. Not sure if it's true or not but I heard that myth anyway. Incorporate that into the movie. High Concept stuff. Think Apocalypto meets Victory. Anyone else seeing Keaunu Reeves as the captain? We could get Gene Hackman as the gruff but lovable coach but then again that's been done to death.
Anyway, just throwing that out there. It's beer thirty here in the Mile High City so cheers gang. (BTW, I will be drinking Harp tonight. A nice Irish brew to do my bit to promote World peace. Taste-T)
Instead of Hackman, how about Charlton Heston? He could execute the super bovines like he did the vamps in the Omega Man.... At the end he could say his catchphrase "Out of my cold, dead hand!" with the head of Keaunu clutched in his grasp.....
I applaude you for trying to educate the americans is the beautiful game!
I do have an issue with you choice of club however! The Gunners do have a histoy of being an English club now unfortunately their manager has pretty much a no English player selection policy (with the exception of Theo - who is overrated!)
We'll wait to see if Theo Walcott pans out. There has been flashes of brilliance. I'm still hoping he'll toughen up.
The last thing "we" need is another "education" on the game. We get it. Kick ball in goal. Don't use hands.
If your sport has to go on a filmstrip in order to inspire local interest, it probably isn't making the in-roads you'd like.
Besides, soccer has become a lot more popular. We tweaked it a bit and call it American Gladiator, but it is basically the same concept.
I firmly believe that we will see a direct correlation between a higher number of soccer fans in the US and a higher number of homosexuals in the US coming out of the closet.
So you like soccer Dave?
TW- No, I'm not a big soccer fan.
And truth be told I don't really think that soccer is full of fudge packers. That was just thrown out to raz Johnny a little.
I don't really like basketball either.
Not that I don't think that either sport takes talent, I just don't enjoy watching.
I'm a wrestler. I know a lot of people don't like watching the sport but if you want complicated, that's the sport for you.
I don't think there are a lot of people out there that really like to watch wrestling, even wrestlers. I think in the past it has lost a lot of it's popularity due to the nature of it but I think that will change soon enough.
As MMA/Ultimate fighting becomes more popular you will see wrestling make a comeback. Not because of wrestling, but because to be a good MMA fighter you almost always have to be a good wrestler. There arent many "good" MMA fighters out there that don't have a strong wrestling background.
I enjoy a good boxing match. Unfortunately boxing has become so corrupt and polluted that it is hard to know if you are being entertained or bought.
If there is one thing that wrestling does not have, it is homoeroticism.
I knew you were going to go there.
The only people who call wrestling homoerotic are homoerotic people that fine wrestling homoerotic.
I knew you'd say that.
The only people who call wrestling homoerotic are homoerotic people that
--->fine<--- wrestling homoerotic.
So you slap wrestling with a big fine Dave?
JW- If my memory serves me correctly, many, many, years ago, you and I had a wrestling match or something similiar to a wrestling match. I don't recall many of the details.
Please bro, say that you didn't find it homoerotic.
Uh, no. No way. No.
Hey MLS isn't all that bad!
GO FC DALLAS! GO HOOPS!
Didn't the US Womens team win the soccer event in the Olympics a while back (don't recall which cause I don't follow the Olympics much either).
Obviously if you want to see high caliber 'futbal' just watch those Americans!
this is something I don't understand actually; the stereotype is that american children play soccer, they have 'soccer moms', but no typical american grown ups really have any interest in the sport. so why do their kids play soccer?
p/s i'm not american so maybe I watch too many dumb movies where this is the image of america that is portrayed.
its funny that actually i am on vacation in france right now with my family, (typinnng here is hard as hell but ive never known ybnbyers to be harsh grammatically) and it actually has grown on me wathing uhh russia and spain play last night, i think spain one and we are in a part a few blocks from spain, that was really great. but anyway, yeah its a shame i cant get into it at home, its like politics, im kinda reluctant to get into that too, french culture is wierd but it rocks.
i was here when france won and i was remember that, it was awesome, people were absolutly nuts, no doubt about it having the best fans.
but its easy to get into over here, its cool and the stuff they do is much more impressive than what they do in the nba, mlb, etc. its so cool, but only over here, i cant explain it.
\j\w is there a death race 2000 remake in the works??
Yes John, Spain did win 3-0.
There is a Death Race remake coming up in August. But it's directed by Paul W.S. Anderson, so I wouldn't expect much. Not the There Will Be Blood Guy, the Resident Evil guy.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0452608/
Have a safe holiday.
JW
we're watching rugby right now, that stuff scares the crap outta me, no organizational skills which yknow just enforces what you said about not having to be a giant brute to be good at, this game no doubt matters but its difficult to join with no one else being a fan.... like jazz, the jazz fans i know are douches. that was probably a bad example.
i'll be sure to do that, johnny, i'll bring you some baguettes or some of their deserts, swear ive gained like 10 pounds arready....
A pastry souvenir would be much appreciated.
Excuse me. It really doesn't matter if the person who hurt you deserves to be forgiven. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. You have things to do and you want to move on.
I am from Bolivia and learning to write in English, tell me right I wrote the following sentence: "Find cheap airfares, discount hotels, car rentals and cruise deals to popular travel kayak."
Regards 8-) Elton.